To the People

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or TO THE PEOPLE.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Everyone Knows To Zip It Up While Driving Past Truckers

Rookie mistake. That or the guy was impaired from smoking a lot of meth. I'm betting it was a little of both. Smoking Gun:

MAY 19--Driving to see his girlfriend Sunday evening, Andrew Jones recalled being "excited" about their approaching rendezvous. Which might explain why Jones, 34, was allegedly masturbating while supposedly "talking dirty" to the woman on the phone (while simultaneously piloting his 2002 Chrysler Sebring). Of course, that doesn't really explain why the West Virginia man was wearing women's underwear and stockings at the time. Jones was busted by a state trooper after two separate truckers called 911 to report seeing a motorist "masturbating while driving." Jones, seen in the mug shot at right, was charged with indecent exposure and drug possession (a bag of methamphetamine and a pipe were found in his car), according to the below misdemeanor criminal complaint.
We've all jerked of a time or a hundred while driving down I-95, or down the street to the grocery store. It's as American as marshmallows over a campfire and carols at Christmas time. But just because everyone does it (right?) doesn't mean you shouldn't use a little common sense. Like making sure you don't have meth on your person. Or pantyhose on your legs. Most importantly, try to cover your crotch while driving past a vehicle that rides higher than yours. It's just common sense people.

P.S. Readers may or may not be surprised that this isn't the first time that we've commented on a masturbating driver.