To the People

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or TO THE PEOPLE.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Here's An Idea -- Hide the Ring In the Mouth of a Lion and Tie Steaks To Her Body

Fresh from my blog sabbatical (both reading and writing) I get handed this meaty piece of material from a Baltimore County politician/nephew of an US Senator, and an all-around walking, talking, giant douche bag. Everyone, meet Baltimore County Delegate Jon Cardin. Oh and ladies -- sorry, but he's taken.
City police are investigating why on-duty marine and helicopter officers helped a Baltimore County state delegate propose to his girlfriend by pretending to raid a boat the couple were aboard, a department spokesman said Monday.

Officers boarded the boat, owned by a friend of Del. Jon S. Cardin, on Aug. 7 in the Inner Harbor. As the helicopter Foxtrot hovered overhead, adding to the sense of tension, one report says officers pretended to search the vessel and even had the woman thinking she was about to be handcuffed before the delegate got on one knee and proposed.

Megan Homer said "yes."

Baltimore police officials did not find the account of the pretend raid amusing or charming.
Because nothing says "I love you sweetie, will you marry me?" like hand-cuffs, guns, and a police helicopter. How could you say no?

This gives me an idea for my special lady's birthday coming up next Tuesday. Surprise Swat Team Party. Now, unfortunately I have no police contacts like Del. Cardin so I'll have to make my own Swat Team. Get a dozen friends or so, dress in black, outfit them with pepper spray and tazers. Then we "raid" her apartment, render her incapacitated with the pepper spray, then stun her with the tazer gun. After she has stopped crying and quivering from 50,000 volts of electricity we yell "SURPRISE! Happy Birthday!". Best birthday ever.

On a more serious note (although the swat team party might be cheaper than the dinner I'll have to buy) the marine unit who helped Cardin out with his proposal is the same Baltimore City marine unit that went to the media a couple months back complaining about a lack of funding. Point, set, match fellas.

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