To the People

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or TO THE PEOPLE.

Monday, December 28, 2009

That's The Last Time That Guy Eats Mayo Covered Fries Before Boarding An 8 Hour Flight

What constitutes the latest terrorist attack on our nation's not-so friendly skies? A man with a burning ass. Not burning in the I-just-shoved-5lbs-of-explosives-up-my-ass kind of way. This was more of the I-can't-stop-this-burning-liquid-fire-from coming-out-of-my-ass kind of way.

Anyone who has a history of sitting on the crapper for long periods of time had to cringe, if only a little when they heard about the latest Amsterdam flight incident where a Nigerian man took too long in the bathroom leading to a bona-fide international incident complete with sequestered passengers and luggage.

Personally, I'd consider it an accomplishment if my poop was enough to ground an airplane, but I'm not sure this poor fellow feels the same way.

I'm flying on Thursday (not to Amsterdam unfortunately) and I eagerly await the TSA warnings about pooping time on flights. And yes, I will make sure to take a shit before boarding.

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