To the People

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or TO THE PEOPLE.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

State Of The Union 2010: From Hope To "Help"

Good evening, folks. I've been away from TtP for a while, so I'll try to make up for that by live-blogging the president's State of the Union address tonight. How will the Supremely Chill One spin the generally crappy state of the economy, his stalled legislative agenda and the fact that the Saints somehow made it to the Superbowl? Stay tuned ...

Update, 7:53 pm -- Okay, here is the TtP SOTU drinking game rules. Drink every time the Leader of the Free World:

1- Says Americans want Washington to act all bipartisan ... by passing his agenda.

2- Says the health care reform bill is just too important to the American people to be abandoned.

3- Attacks Wall Street greed.

4- Says he made some mistakes, then immediately glosses past them.

5- Says he will fight for American jobs.

6- Says we are failing future generations by not getting the nation's finances in order.

There, that should leave all of you as wrecked as Haiti by the time the speech is over.

Update 8:17 p.m. -- CNN reports the first real news of the evening: Obama may call for the end of the Pentagon's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy tonight. As somebody who is neither gay nor in the military, this doesn't really concern me much, but if a gay dude wants to pick up a rifle and shoot terrorists I am not going to object. Heck, I've met lesbians who were at least scary as anything on HBO's Oz. Why not send them to Afghanistan or where ever the fighting is?

Update 8:23 p.m. -- In case this evening wasn't enough of a downer, Anderson Cooper says the Haitian government is no longer bothering to bury the country's dead. They are just dumping them by the side of the road.

Update 8:26 p.m.
-- Rob, on Twitter: "is that anderson coopers boyfriend? oh...it's just sanjay gupta."

Update 8:32 p.m.
-- CNN notes that while this is Obama's first State of the
Union address, this is the third (or was it fourth?) time he has spoken to a joint session of Congress. Hmm ... Well, you cannot say he is not getting his message out. Double hmm, maybe that is his problem ...

Update 8:36 p.m. -- Whoa, Dr. C. Everett "Wear a condom" Koop just appeared in an ad basically echoing Sarah Palin's Democrats-want-to-create-death-panels argument. My thoughts on the subject here.

Update 8:40 p.m.
-- For the record, I am drinking Miller Light while watching this. Why? 'Cause it is recession, dammit. As I write this, CNN is showing the presidential limo. Nice to know he is doing well, though I am a little disappointed that he has not pimped the limo out a little more. Of course, it is hard to beat basic black.

Update 8:44 p.m.
-- Just saw an Allstate commercial starring that black guy who played the president on "24". If I get drunker and they keep running that ad this could get confusing.

Update 8:48 p.m. -- Just saw Al Franken on the floor. I keep forgetting that Stuart Smalley really is a senator now. Do you think that if Chris Farley had lived, he could have made it to Washington? He couldn't possible be worse than our current chief of homeland security.

Update 8:56 p.m. -- The glare from Joe Biden's forehead is distracting.

Update 8:59 p.m.
-- Oh, shit. CNN just said the speech will run 70-75 minutes. Time to break out the whiskey after all. This is going to be an ass-number.

Update 9:02 p.m.
-- Hey, did you know that Supreme Court Justice Sonya Sotomayor is a Latina? Damn, how did I miss that?

Update 9:05 p.m.
-- Rob on Twitter: "the housing sec is the guy who leads the country if someone blows up the capitol??"

Update 9:07 p.m.
-- So, was Bill Bennett the guy who played Norm on "Cheers"? I forget ...

Update 9:09 p.m. -- Okay, the Supremely Chill One has arrived. And we are off ...

Update 9:10 p.m. -- I don't know why, but Mrs. Obama looks pissed.

Update 9:13 p.m. -- Rob says he'd bone Nancy Pelosi. Well, that makes one of us.

Update 9:15 p.m.
-- "... and my fellow Americans." What, no shout-out to his homeboys back in Illinois?

Update 9:16 p.m. -- "One year ago I took office in the midst of two wars ..." Which, ahem, are still ongoing ...

Update 9:17 p.m. -- So, the American people want Congress to work together. Drink.

Update 9:18 p.m. -- "It is time Americans get a government that matches their decency." Oh, shit, not that ...

Update 9:19 p.m.
-- So he hated, hated the bank bailout but had no choice but to do it? If only he could get elected to some prominent political position where he could figure out some alternative way of dealing with the problem.

Update 9:22 p.m. -- "Let me repeat: We cut taxes." You didn't cut mine, buddy.

Update 9:23 p.m.
-- So, we are on track to add one million jobs by the end of the year? Well, I am so fucking glad we spent that $787 BILLION to get one million jobs. What a deal that was!

Update 9:30 p.m. -- "These steps won't make up for the 7 million jobs that have been lost." Then what the fuck are we all doing here listening to you?

Update 9:35 p.m.
-- "I am not interested in punishing banks ... but we can not allow financial institutions to take risks with our economy." Well, which is it? Are they evil or not?

Update 9:37 p.m.
-- Okay he's giving it up for nuclear power AND offshore drilling? Maybe he really is getting past the old politics ... Oh, no, wait it's just window dressing for a climate change bill. Hello, skyrocketing energy bills.

Update 9:42 p.m. -- He is for free trade but only when our trading partners are playing by the rules, i.e., when the industries that contribute to political campaigns are not facing pesky competition from countries that want to sell the same thing to American consumers, only cheaper.

Update 9:45 p.m.
-- "That is why we are doubling the child care tax credit ... " And those of us who don't have kids? Hello? Helloooooo?

Update 9:47 p.m. -- The health care bill will bring down the deficit? Bullshit.

Update 9:51 p.m. -- Again, he says any problems are all Bush's fault. Okay, Bush was loser, but, hey, you did ask for this job. Don't give us that weaselly everything was wrong before I walked in the door line.

Update 9:55 p.m. -- So, the budget freeze won't take place until next year? This is on top of that fact that it excludes defense spending, entitlements like Social Security and Medicare and isn't even across the board on what remains. So in what sense is this even a freeze? And even then the Democrats are acting like he just took a piss in the punchbowl.

Upfront 9:59 p.m. -- So now he is all about openness and limiting lobbyist influence? I don't buy it.

Update 10:04 p.m. -- CNN just just followed his lines about renewing the focus on our national security will a shot of Janet Napolitano looking like she has to get Daddy to sign her straight F report card.

Update 10:09 p.m.
-- "We will have all of our combat troops out of Iraq by August." Umm, combat troops? Not just troops? Am I reading too much into that?

Update 10:10 p.m.
-- "That is why North Korea is more isolated." Are they so isolated that they are feeling ronrey, so ronrey? Sorry, I know that was dumb, but frankly I got nothing. This speech mind-numbingly dull and as well as longer than John Holmes' penis.

Update 10:13 p.m.
--His Justice Department is prosecuting more civil rights cases against business and beefing up hate crimes statutes. Well, thank goodness he is not pushing that big government agenda all those right-wing nuts keep complaining about.

Update 10:16 -- No, Mr. President we are not too cynical. We are not cynical enough ...

Update 10:18 p.m. -- "What keeps me going is that that sense of determination ... that core decency, lives on." Yeah, what keeps me going is Jameson, neat.

Update 10:22 p.m. -- And that is it. And now he is off to the White House to break out the Courvoisier and En Vouge albums.

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