To the People

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or TO THE PEOPLE.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

This Is the Way Parenting Was Meant To Be Done -- With a Drug Sniffing Dog

Lazy. Fucking. Parents.
A new service in Maryland is promising parents peace of mind by allowing them to essentially rent a drug-sniffing dog, a highly trained canine that will come to their house and within seconds, detect even the tiniest whiff of narcotics. The program allows ordinary moms and dads access to a search tool typically reserved for law enforcement — and typically aimed at suspected criminals.
Even though the first thing I jerked it to as a kid was a "Where Babies Come From Book", I don't really consider myself a parenting expert. So I'll just call it an opinion when I say that renting a drug sniffing dog at a going rate of $200/hr to root out your kid's room might end up doing more harm than good. It might erase any sense of trust you share with your kid, so if s/he actually had a problem or questions about drugs, they might choose not to talk to you first. BUT WHAT DO I KNOW.

Except this. I know teenagers are pretty fucking stupid. I hid my marijuana in my heating/air vent in my room. The day after doing that for the first time I walked back into my room and was mystified as to why my whole room smelled like pot. I would have made an excellent criminal.

So if you're really concerned about your little princess getting fucked up on the weekends and blowing the soccer team's goalkeeper (and you probably shouldn't be too concerned about this happening, because based on my own experience IT NEVER DOES) you probably don't need to go the extreme route of hiring a drug sniffing dog to find out what's going on in their life. And if you do, then maybe you're just a really bad parent.

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