To the People

We Got Some Snow

2010-02-06T16:13:00.005-05:00

The joys of living in a high-rise apartment complex with a garage -- No shoveling of any kind. Makes snow much more enjoyable.

And boy did we get a ton of that shit. My completely unofficial count when out-and-about downtown puts the total at 30". Official counts have it in that range as well.

Below are few shots of downtown Baltimore from this morning.

The Boy Behind the Juice Box: "I make bad purchases all the time"

2010-02-03T12:05:00.001-05:00

Ezra Klein interviews Rep. Paul Ryan, in what works out to be a pretty good exchange between the two on health care. You should read it.

I'll only excerpt one exchange between the two that produces a great line where Ezra Klein admits he's too stupid to make his own consumer decisions. And he thinks we are too..I guess:

Ezra -- You’re arguing that the benefits of competition accrue, and so even if you don’t choose at the moment of emergency, there’s still an effect from a higher-functioning market.

Ryan -- Absolutely. I don’t know anything about cars. I look at Consumer Reports and their ratings. What matters is that someone who knows about cars went and figured this out. The car company is competing for the really tough customer who goes under the hood. I’m not saying every American has to be that consumer. But enough people have to so the rest of us can benefit.

Ezra -- But take cars. Lots of people buy crappy cars, or bad televisions. I make bad purchases all the time. Liberals and conservatives are together on the publishing of quality metrics. But this stuff is more complicated and diffuse than cars. That’s not to say the consumer shouldn't’t have a role. I’m a big Wyden-Bennett guy, frankly.

I wouldn't be bragging that I'm too lazy to do consumer research on expensive products I buy. I also disagree with the notion that lots of people buy crappy cars. Most cars that are built today are not shitty cars. They may be cheap, but they aren't crappy. Or that people who do buy the crappy cars that are out there, are unaware that they are buying crappy cars.

I would hazard a guess that most people who buy crappy cars are doing so because 1) They can not afford a "good" car. 2) They choose to spend their available capital on something other than a good car. Also, it's not my responsibility to subsidize second chances for stupid consumers. I'll emphasis it for Klein. He seems to miss this point regularly.

At what point do we stop taking the guy who's been outfoxed by netflix so seriously?

Confirmed: John Edwards Co-Starred in Preggers Porn Video

2010-01-31T14:07:00.002-05:00

Since our last post on the subject of John Edwards, a few more details of the alleged porn video have leaked out. First off we can scratch the "alleged" part. Edwards' mistress confirmed its existence by filing an injunction against ex-Edwards aide and tell-all book author Andrew Young releasing the tape.

Thesmokinggun.com has the documents:

According to an affidavit filed yesterday in North Carolina Superior Court, Hunter reported that she was having an "intimate relationship" with Edwards in 2006, and that the video was made around September of that year.

ABC News reports more details. Namely that the woman in the video is large and in charge:

Though Young never saw the woman's face in the tape, he said she was "visibly pregnant" and was "wearing a bracelet" and a "thumb ring" typically worn by Rielle Hunter.

"It's her jewelry," Andrew Young's wife, Cheri, told ABC News. "It could be on another woman with the same jewelry."

The Washington Post meanwhile notes a fascinating possibility. There may be multiple videos out there starring Edwards:

It remains unclear if Hunter's 2006 tape is the same one that Young claims to have found. Young admits the pregnant woman's face is never visible in the tape. Furthermore, Hunter gave birth to her and Edwards's daughter, Frances Quinn, more than a year after she says her 2006 "private" video was made.(Emphasis added.)

So Edwards has a thing for making amateur porn videos starring himself with pregnant chicks? Nahh, probably not; I'm guessing it is Hunter in the tape and somebody is just confused over the dates.

Oh, the ABC story has this other great tidbit:

Young claims that Edwards even called upon him in late May 2007 to convince Hunter to terminate her pregnancy.

"The senator tried to convince her to have an abortion. ... He tried to convince me to convince Rielle to have an abortion," Young told Woodruff.

"She [Hunter] asked me if I were in her shoes what would I do. And if I said, 'I'm pro-choice, but after having had three kids, if you're asking me what I would do, no, I would not do it,'" Young recalled of his conversation with Hunter.

Young claims that Edwards was infuriated with him for not convincing Hunter and stressed that he was not certain the baby was his because Hunter was a "weird slut and a freak." (Emphasis added.)

Stay classy, Edwards.

Fundraising Drive

2010-01-29T16:21:00.003-05:00

My domain registration for tothepeople.com ends March 31 of this year. I will be renewing it for another 2 years for a total of $65.98. If you would like to throw a couple bucks my way -- or more than a couple bucks -- please feel free to do so via pay-pal at tothepeople_at_gmail.com.

If you would rather send a check, case of booze, or lots of cash, hit me up via our email and I'll let you know how.

I will be renewing the registration no matter what, but money's always tight, and this blog runs a deficit between hosting fees and domain fees.

Any help is appreciated.

Cleaning Lady Is Playing Some Hardball

2010-01-29T14:48:00.003-05:00

Sign over a urinal in my office building's bathroom. You best start flushing guys...I'm looking at you, creepy guy who brushes his teeth 2 times a day..

Horseshit

2010-01-29T10:18:00.004-05:00

Via @mikeriggs -- "There's no bottom in the horse market". The Denver Post reports on the horse market:

Horse after well-pedigreed horse failed to fetch decent prices at this year's Mile High Select Sale of quarter horses and paint horses at the National Western Stock Show.

The bad economy, the closure of the last U.S. horse slaughterhouse in 2007, overbreeding, an abundance of mid- and low-grade horses, and the high cost of caring for horses have all conspired to cause horse prices to plummet across the country.

"There's no bottom to the horse market any more," said Scot Dutcher, chief of the Colorado Department of Agriculture's bureau of animal protection.

The horse beat is a familiar one to readers of this blog. We've covered bans on fucking, eating, and grinding the galloping creatures, coming out against all of the above. Especially the fucking one (wink, wink). [Yikes, that sounded creepy even to me when I read that back.....]

Falling prices and abandoned horses, noted here a year ago, was bound to become more of a problem when Congress made killing horses for human consumption illegal. A problem started in 2006 when the Feds tried (and essentially did) to shutter all domestic slaughter houses.

So next time you see Trigger limping down your street, looking like a straving Haitian refugee you can thank the bums in Washington for their hand in torturing thousands of horses.

Senator Bow Chicka Wow?

2010-01-29T06:58:00.002-05:00

Former senator and vice presidential candidate John Edwards is doing relief work in Haiti right now in a fairly obvious attempt at rehabilitating his name, i.e., get good press. Well, work hard senator.

Gawker reports that Edwards made a sex tape with the mistress that he knocked up:

Sources have told us that, in the throes of their affair, John Edwards and Rielle Hunter made a sex tape that contains "several sex acts." And that his aide, Andrew Young found it on an unmarked DVD.

The tape, say both our sources, is explicit and reveals that Edwards "is physically very striking, in a certain area. Everyone who sees it says 'whoa'. She's behind the camera at first."

And that is of course just the thing you want to leave lying around if you are running of the United States. Even Bill Clinton is shaking his head and saying, "Fucking amateur ..."

If it sounds like I am taking an unseemly delight in Edwards' troubles it is because I am. He is a lying, sleazy, narcissistic scumbag whose champion of the downtrodden pose is complete pr bullshit. I don't have the slightest doubt that he would not be in Haiti if there were not reporters and cameras to see him. And yet twice, if history had been slightly different, he would have gotten in the White House. What a country.

Some Thoughts On The Tragedy In Haiti

2010-01-28T22:53:00.001-05:00

What he said.

Things To Do Today

2010-01-28T12:10:00.004-05:00

Start a non-profit so that I can get my own "bone-gals". Well played Rob Kampia, well played...

Return of the Drunk Live Blog 2010 SOTU Bitches

2010-01-28T00:31:00.000-05:00

So the post-within-the-post live blogging experiment lasted a total of 7 minutes. SUCCESS. So just deal with reading two posts you lazy fucks.

I'd like to point out that on my end this is a drunk live blog. I can't speak for my co-blogger.

8:25 -- DIAL TESTING GROUP MOTHERFUCKERS. Check out CNN's focus group from Ohio. Ugly group of folks. Maybe it's a focus group to find out what ugly people think about the SOTU. I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR WHAT UGLY PEOPLE THINK.

8:35 -- Holy shit C Everett Coop needs to die. NOW. Anyone else seeing his Health Care Bill ad? He says he has 2 pacemakers, a stint, a bionic arm, a midget acting as his legs, and two glass eyes. He says that in the UK they would line him up in front of the firing squad and kill him. That's a great fucking idea. Health Care reform!

8:36 -- Stimulus Desk CNN style. HIGH TECH SHIT. Hey, those assholes on the stimulus desk don't look like they are working at all.

8:42 -- Not to confuse you people too much but I will be rotating our two blog post to the top of the blog as they update. So the most recently updated post will be on top of the blog. It sounds hard, but sometimes that's what the owner of a highly successful blog must do. MANAGE SHIT.

8:45 -- I've stated this before, but I'd bone Baltimore's own Nancy Pelosi. Not only would I do her, but I'd enjoy it.

8:50 -- Analyst on CNN.."It's mostly incumbents that are in trouble, not just Democrats." That's some dumb shit right there.

9:13 -- I prefer live blogging the commercials on CNN pre-SOTU. SOTU=GAY

9:18 -- Anyone hear that really awkward clap that quickly stopped?
"One thing we all hated was the bank bailout" Yes, yes we did. so why did we do it again? Oh, that's right...to stave off 10% unemployment. Wait...holy shit WE HAVE 10% UNEMPLOYMENT!!

9:20 -- I am Obama the populist monster!! Yes I have a law degree from Harvard, but still...I'm pretty fucking populist. DOWN WITH BANKS!!

9:28 -- How many minutes do we have left? This shit is boring...Did anyone realize that the Joy Behar show is on CNN Headline News? No? Maybe I'll live blog that shit instead.

9:35 -- KITTY BLOGGING. Nothing beats the view of a Tabby cat. Take that CNN dial testing, focus group, mid-western fatasses. YOU HAVE NO CATS.

9:41 -- MEOW

9:49 -- Best part of a 5 hour SOTU? I cans drinks lots of whiskey. GO OBAMA. This is Rob now. I kicked the cat off. He was kinda vulgar.

9:50 -- Ohhh. Let's blame Bush some more. You've been in office for one year mother fucker. "The federal government should tighten its belt" Yes IN 2009.

9:54 -- My GF...excuse me, my fiancee is reading the Gawker live blog, not mine. I say to her, Do they have cats blogging?? NO

10:04 -- I want to make fun of Wolf Blitzer. I want Andersen Cooper to ask TV-less and electricity-less Haitians what they thought of the SOTU. Can we finish the speech already?

1 hour in he gets into terrorism. Which may be the one only legitimate fucking thing they do. Protect us from people who want to blow us up.

10:25 -- Shit finally ended. I'll add my closing thoughts later, but I didn't think it was a very good SOTU. BAD OBAMA.

10:29 -- Bob McDonnell talking in front of a live legislative audience. Think the GOP learned their lesson from Gumby Jindal?

10:33 -- Alright..Archibald is fucking me up with this new post shit for the GOP rebuttal. I ONLY HAVE TWO HANDS.

State Of The Union 2010: From Hope To "Help"

2010-01-28T00:20:00.000-05:00

Good evening, folks. I've been away from TtP for a while, so I'll try to make up for that by live-blogging the president's State of the Union address tonight. How will the Supremely Chill One spin the generally crappy state of the economy, his stalled legislative agenda and the fact that the Saints somehow made it to the Superbowl? Stay tuned ...

Update, 7:53 pm -- Okay, here is the TtP SOTU drinking game rules. Drink every time the Leader of the Free World:

1- Says Americans want Washington to act all bipartisan ... by passing his agenda.

2- Says the health care reform bill is just too important to the American people to be abandoned.

3- Attacks Wall Street greed.

4- Says he made some mistakes, then immediately glosses past them.

5- Says he will fight for American jobs.

6- Says we are failing future generations by not getting the nation's finances in order.

There, that should leave all of you as wrecked as Haiti by the time the speech is over.

Update 8:17 p.m. -- CNN reports the first real news of the evening: Obama may call for the end of the Pentagon's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy tonight. As somebody who is neither gay nor in the military, this doesn't really concern me much, but if a gay dude wants to pick up a rifle and shoot terrorists I am not going to object. Heck, I've met lesbians who were at least scary as anything on HBO's Oz. Why not send them to Afghanistan or where ever the fighting is?

Update 8:23 p.m. -- In case this evening wasn't enough of a downer, Anderson Cooper says the Haitian government is no longer bothering to bury the country's dead. They are just dumping them by the side of the road.

Update 8:26 p.m. -- Rob, on Twitter: "is that anderson coopers boyfriend? oh...it's just sanjay gupta."

Update 8:32 p.m. -- CNN notes that while this is Obama's first State of the
Union address, this is the third (or was it fourth?) time he has spoken to a joint session of Congress. Hmm ... Well, you cannot say he is not getting his message out. Double hmm, maybe that is his problem ...

Update 8:36 p.m. -- Whoa, Dr. C. Everett "Wear a condom" Koop just appeared in an ad basically echoing Sarah Palin's Democrats-want-to-create-death-panels argument. My thoughts on the subject here.

Update 8:40 p.m. -- For the record, I am drinking Miller Light while watching this. Why? 'Cause it is recession, dammit. As I write this, CNN is showing the presidential limo. Nice to know he is doing well, though I am a little disappointed that he has not pimped the limo out a little more. Of course, it is hard to beat basic black.

Update 8:44 p.m. -- Just saw an Allstate commercial starring that black guy who played the president on "24". If I get drunker and they keep running that ad this could get confusing.

Update 8:48 p.m. -- Just saw Al Franken on the floor. I keep forgetting that Stuart Smalley really is a senator now. Do you think that if Chris Farley had lived, he could have made it to Washington? He couldn't possible be worse than our current chief of homeland security.

Update 8:56 p.m. -- The glare from Joe Biden's forehead is distracting.

Update 8:59 p.m. -- Oh, shit. CNN just said the speech will run 70-75 minutes. Time to break out the whiskey after all. This is going to be an ass-number.

Update 9:02 p.m. -- Hey, did you know that Supreme Court Justice Sonya Sotomayor is a Latina? Damn, how did I miss that?

Update 9:05 p.m. -- Rob on Twitter: "the housing sec is the guy who leads the country if someone blows up the capitol??"

Update 9:07 p.m. -- So, was Bill Bennett the guy who played Norm on "Cheers"? I forget ...

Update 9:09 p.m. -- Okay, the Supremely Chill One has arrived. And we are off ...

Update 9:10 p.m. -- I don't know why, but Mrs. Obama looks pissed.

Update 9:13 p.m. -- Rob says he'd bone Nancy Pelosi. Well, that makes one of us.

Update 9:15 p.m. -- "... and my fellow Americans." What, no shout-out to his homeboys back in Illinois?

Update 9:16 p.m. -- "One year ago I took office in the midst of two wars ..." Which, ahem, are still ongoing ...

Update 9:17 p.m. -- So, the American people want Congress to work together. Drink.

Update 9:18 p.m. -- "It is time Americans get a government that matches their decency." Oh, shit, not that ...

Update 9:19 p.m. -- So he hated, hated the bank bailout but had no choice but to do it? If only he could get elected to some prominent political position where he could figure out some alternative way of dealing with the problem.

Update 9:22 p.m. -- "Let me repeat: We cut taxes." You didn't cut mine, buddy.

Update 9:23 p.m. -- So, we are on track to add one million jobs by the end of the year? Well, I am so fucking glad we spent that $787 BILLION to get one million jobs. What a deal that was!

Update 9:30 p.m. -- "These steps won't make up for the 7 million jobs that have been lost." Then what the fuck are we all doing here listening to you?

Update 9:35 p.m. -- "I am not interested in punishing banks ... but we can not allow financial institutions to take risks with our economy." Well, which is it? Are they evil or not?

Update 9:37 p.m. -- Okay he's giving it up for nuclear power AND offshore drilling? Maybe he really is getting past the old politics ... Oh, no, wait it's just window dressing for a climate change bill. Hello, skyrocketing energy bills.

Update 9:42 p.m. -- He is for free trade but only when our trading partners are playing by the rules, i.e., when the industries that contribute to political campaigns are not facing pesky competition from countries that want to sell the same thing to American consumers, only cheaper.

Update 9:45 p.m. -- "That is why we are doubling the child care tax credit ... " And those of us who don't have kids? Hello? Helloooooo?

Update 9:47 p.m. -- The health care bill will bring down the deficit? Bullshit.

Update 9:51 p.m. -- Again, he says any problems are all Bush's fault. Okay, Bush was loser, but, hey, you did ask for this job. Don't give us that weaselly everything was wrong before I walked in the door line.

Update 9:55 p.m. -- So, the budget freeze won't take place until next year? This is on top of that fact that it excludes defense spending, entitlements like Social Security and Medicare and isn't even across the board on what remains. So in what sense is this even a freeze? And even then the Democrats are acting like he just took a piss in the punchbowl.

Upfront 9:59 p.m. -- So now he is all about openness and limiting lobbyist influence? I don't buy it.

Update 10:04 p.m. -- CNN just just followed his lines about renewing the focus on our national security will a shot of Janet Napolitano looking like she has to get Daddy to sign her straight F report card.

Update 10:09 p.m. -- "We will have all of our combat troops out of Iraq by August." Umm, combat troops? Not just troops? Am I reading too much into that?

Update 10:10 p.m. -- "That is why North Korea is more isolated." Are they so isolated that they are feeling ronrey, so ronrey? Sorry, I know that was dumb, but frankly I got nothing. This speech mind-numbingly dull and as well as longer than John Holmes' penis.

Update 10:13 p.m. --His Justice Department is prosecuting more civil rights cases against business and beefing up hate crimes statutes. Well, thank goodness he is not pushing that big government agenda all those right-wing nuts keep complaining about.

Update 10:16 -- No, Mr. President we are not too cynical. We are not cynical enough ...

Update 10:18 p.m. -- "What keeps me going is that that sense of determination ... that core decency, lives on." Yeah, what keeps me going is Jameson, neat.

Update 10:22 p.m. -- And that is it. And now he is off to the White House to break out the Courvoisier and En Vouge albums.

The GOP Rebuttal: We Still Suck But We Are Not Responsible

2010-01-28T00:00:00.000-05:00

Okay, now time for the GOP response, featuring the new governor of my state, Virginia. I am not sure but I think his name is Ken Doll.

Update 10:31 p.m. -- I just saw a black person in the room with the Republicans. One of the 5 or 6 in the party.

Update 10:32 p.m. -- He says even his sons are watching SportsCenter instead.

Update 10:34 p.m. -- And hey there is an Asian guy on the right! See, they are too diverse! I think he is the driver.

Update 10:36 p.m. -- Solutions.gop.gov. Now, why wasn't that website snatched up before now?

Update 10:38 p.m. -- Wow, off shore drilling gets these people hot. Me, I'd like to get a yacht and do some offshore drilling on Natalie Portman.

Update 10:40 p.m. -- My daughter is a Marine. Kick ass.

Update 10:41 p.m. -- Underwear bomber, bad. Okay, check, got that.

Update 10:42 p.m. -- "Where opportunity is unequal, we must make it open to everyone." Well, so much for keeping government from being intrusive.

Update 10:43 p.m. -- Wait, that is it? It is over? Wow, he must really want to catch Jon Stewart.

Gay Andersen Cooper Haiti Live Blogging

2010-01-27T23:46:00.000-05:00

As CNN says, our coverage has only just begun. I feel like drinking more, so I'm going to live blog the post-SOTU coverage. For a little bit.

10:46 -- FACT CHECKING. Let's check some facts. That a hell of a tie that the CNN money guy has on. Right on.

10:56 -- What do fat people think? Turn to CNN to find out

11:02 -- Andersen Cooper sighting. I've been waiting all night. No!!! Wolf, don't go back to the panel. Back to A-Coop and S-Gup!

11:05 -- I can't be the only one who thinks David Axelrod is a Christopher Walkin doppleganger? Right?

11:14 -- Eric Ericson on CNN. MY LAST NAME IS PART OF FIRST. Paul Begala. ROB THE BLOGGER DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MY LAST NAME.

God Mary Madalin looks like a ghost. That is it.

11:21 -- CNN is all over the tweets. Tell us what we are thinking CNN.

11:29 -- I just interrupted a conversation with my fiancee and re-winded my DVR so that I could catch the entirety of the the Andersen Cooper spot. I am gay.

Anderson and Sanjay. LOVE EACH OTHER TENDERLY.

I like the Andersen thumb-in-pockets stance. COWBOY.

11:44 - Black republican on CNN within the Ohio "I am Fat Focus Group". Nothing to add. Just wanted to point out a block republican in Ohio.

We Must Be Getting To The End Because The Fat Ladies Are Singing

2010-01-27T23:40:00.000-05:00

Now to the CNN focus group, where the official CNN focus group hottie talks to a bunch of ordinary Americans who just happen to be in that television studio.

Update 10:59 p.m. -- I find it ironic that the CNN State of the Union coverage is brought to me by Koons Nissan and Toyota.

Update 11:01 p.m. -- Anderson Cooper oddly unexcited by the Don't Ask, Don't Tell announcement.

Update 11:02 p.m. -- CNN's Candy Crowley: "He is a president who often leaves things open to interpretation." Well put, Candy.

Update 11:07 p.m. -- I would so do Soledad O'Brien.

Update 11:09 p.m. -- Obama advisor David Axelrod: soul of an accountant in the body of a high school guidance counselor with the mind of a Washington Bureaucrat.

Update 11:12 p.m. -- Oil Billionaire T. Boone Pickens appears in an ad to get Americans to move forward on energy, i.e., give him federal subsidies for his windfarms. Oh, come on. You're a rich asshole. Fund it yourself if it is such a great fucking idea.

Update 11:15 p.m. -- Mary Matlin and James Carville are not real. They are cartoons. He sounds like Foghorn Leghorn and looks the result of some unholy human/lizard interbreeding. And if his wife gets one more face-lift, she'll have a beard.

Update 11:23 p.m. -- Anderson Cooper just happens to be wearing a t-shirt that shows off his biceps. Funny how these things happen.

Update 11:26 p.m. -- Gupta notes that the president referred to health insurance reform not health care reform. Hmmm ...

Update 11:32 p.m. -- National Review's Ramesh Ponnuru on why insurance reform is next to impossible.

FINAL THOUGHTS -- Aside from the Don't Ask, Don't Tell stuff, this was a boring rehash of things Obama has said several times before. In two weeks nobody will even remember this speech. Me, I'm going to bed ...

'Obama Announces Intiatives for Middle Class' -- Yay for Me...Oh, Fuck...Scratch That

2010-01-25T13:18:00.004-05:00

I'd like to stop being the "other person" in the "spending other people's money" axiom.

AP:

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama on Monday offered help for people struggling to pay bills and care for their families, appealing to a middle-class he says has been "under assault for a long time."

In a partial preview of a State of the Union address that aims to answer voter angst about the economy and reconnect with the public, Obama outlined the series of proposals from the White House.[...]

Among the initiatives: a doubling of the child care tax credit for families earning under $85,000; a $1.6 billion increase in federal funding for child care programs and a program to cap student loan payments at 10 percent of income above "a basic living allowance."

His initiatives also include expanding tax credits to match retirement savings and increasing aid for families taking care of elderly relatives. That program would also require many employers to provide the option of a workplace-based retirement savings plan.

I exist in some sort of childless, non-property owning, no college debt, earning little money, black-fuck-me-up-the-ass-hole of taxpayers. Doesn't anyone want to buy my vote??

I promise you; 20-somethings with substance abuse problems and a lack of life ambitions WILL be the swing vote in the upcoming mid-term elections. And we're cheap to buy off. I'd just take a bottle of something.

Depressing...

2010-01-25T09:56:00.003-05:00

Really good piece by NPR on the bail bond industry.

MPP Intrique

2010-01-21T12:14:00.001-05:00

Perhaps only interesting to me...but according to reports Rob Kampia is taking an extended leave of absence from his gig at the Marijuana Policy Project to work on issues related to "hypersexualization" and his workplace attitudes towards women. Ladies and gentlemen, the face of the drug policy reform lobby!

Since I can't access the High Times article that originally "broke" this story (because I'm at work and unlike the MPP, my employer cares about things like workplace professionalism. Zing!) here are links to reason and the Post; both of which provide a quick synopsis of the scandal that led to Kampia's leave of absence and a number of staffer's resignations.

This story has special significance to me, having met the guy a couple of times, one of which was a job interview with MPP 2 or 3 years ago. This was during the time I was blogging frequently on drug policy and TtP had many more DC readers than it does now. I happened to mention my ownership of the blog prior to the interview, thinking it might help. I should mention that this was also a period where I was making a lot of tranny jokes. Don't ask. It was a dark period. You can see where this is going.

Now I can say with confidence that it wasn't my sexually depraved humor that kept me from getting that job -- in fact it probably helped -- instead it was just a really shitty interview* coupled with a thin resume. Boy do I feel better.

*I'm serious. It was the worlds worst interview. I was sweating through my suit...in February. Asked them to turn on the AC. Told them that "I wasn't a big fan of e-mail". Made several off the cuff remarks about people calling them douche bags. In a really awkward moment I was walking out of the office where the interview was going on and heard one of the ladies who was in room call out Rob. So I walked back in and said "Yes?"...She said, and I quote, "Not you". Ouch...

After I left I went straight to Union Station, quickly downed a handful of 7and7s, then drove home to drink an epic amount of alcohol that night. What I learned was you should never, under any circumstance "be yourself" in a job interview if you happen to be me. It was a valuable lesson.

Mass Voters Could Have Elected a Giant Squid For All I Care; As Long As He Was the 41st Vote*

2010-01-20T10:46:00.007-05:00

Great Massachusetts senate post-mortem by Dave Weigal in the Washington Independent this morning.

My only thoughts: As a casual observer in Maryland this race reminded me of the 2002 MD gubernatorial race. A lot of parallels between the two. A Democrat in Kathleen Townsend (who also happened to be a Kennedy) ran a really shitty and uninspiring race. A talented center-ish Republican ran a great race and took advantage of the points spotted to him by Townsend. He pulls off a huge upset, becomes the first Republican Governor in Maryland since Spiro Agnew....And he goes on to lose 4 years later to Martin O'Malley. Minus Brown losing to a Baltimore Mayor, the same result will most likely happen in two years. But enjoy it while you can Mass Republicans.

*For the record I do think it's pretty fucking stupid that a majority isn't a majority in the Senate. However, it's 9 times out 10 it's a good thing to make it harder for those old fucks to pass a bill. So it's a wash in my book.

Poe Toaster Is a No Show; Papers Get To Break Out the 'Nevermore' Headlines

2010-01-19T10:31:00.005-05:00

Interesting story in Baltimore, as the mysterious Poe toaster doesn't show up at the famous grave for the first time in 50 years.

A longtime tribute to Edgar Allan Poe may have come to an end with the absence of the "Poe Toaster," who for more than half a century has marked the poet's birthday by laying roses and a bottle of cognac at his original grave site.

This is the first time since Jan. 19, 1949 that the person, whose identity is unknown, failed to arrive, said Jeff Jerome, curator of the Edgar Allan Poe House.

If it's been the same guy for the past 50 years, odds are the guy finally died. That thought somehow doesn't occur to the curator of the Poe house:

"I was very annoyed," he said.

"I've been doing this since 1977, and there was no indication he wasn't going to show up," Jerome said.

Full story here.

Smoke Detectors Are Gay

2010-01-15T04:28:00.001-05:00

I agree -- Fuck smoke detectors.

Let me take this opportunity to pass along a tip that was unknown to me until I spent a very loud (and very high hour) wrestling with a smoke detector after a failed batch of cannabutter set off an alarm many, many years ago in my college apartment.

Turn off the oven.

Nothing makes you feel like a jackass more than ripping TWO smoke detectors out of the ceiling only to figure out that the alarm won't stop until you turn the oven off. Needless to say I never got my security deposit back from that apartment. The condition of the bathrooms probably didn't help either...

Additional tip: Cannabutter isn't worth the trouble. You probably won't make it correctly leading to that really awkward experience with 3 stoners sitting around eating buttered bread wondering if it's started to kick-in yet. You feel like a real douche when you have a 3 ft bong in the corner of the room and you're trying to get high from eating toast.

The Bachelor Boots Show Contestant Who Fools Around With Multiple People..Wait..What?

2010-01-13T11:47:00.001-05:00

I'm a confessed fan of ABC's The Bachelor. When I first started watching the show a few years back I compared it to a snuff film. I think that analysis still works. It's one hell of a creepy show, and leaves you a not-so-good feeling about yourself for watching.

For me that usually last for about half a second until I remembered that I just finished watching streaming video of....oh I dunno, a pregnant nun getting boned in a barn. Creepy is relative, no?

This season however a scandal has rocked the show to its core. Initial guesses in the Rob household during the lead up to the on-air reveal included: 1) One of the man-ish looking chicks was in fact a man. 2) One or more of the chicks were involved in a lesbian orgy during the show. (my favorite) 3)Someone was married. We were all wrong. DEAD WRONG.

Turns out that one of the whores on the show was actually...A WHORE! WHO KNEW??? I AM SO OUTRAGED!!

Here's the breakdown of the "Scandal of '10": This girl (which by looking at her, would you ever guess that she would be at the center of a sex scandal? Nooooo, how could you?) apparently entered into inappropriate relations with a producer of the show that features such completely appropriate things as group dates and multiple groping partners. The producer was fired, the contestant kicked off and douche named Jake who's this years Bachelor couldn't believe that someone who would come on to a reality show had motivations other than finding her future husband. I know Jake. Hard to figure.

Pot For All!

2010-01-12T14:28:00.002-05:00

Marijuana legalization bill gets through committee in California Assembly. I haven't been following this closely, but it's surely an interesting development.

Back from Vacation

2010-01-06T22:31:00.004-05:00

Didn't mention it earlier but I went on, and have now returned from a week in chilly Florida with the old lady. Ate lots of food, drank some booze, and caught a std from a hot tub. It was a nice time.

The last part is no joke - ever get a spider bite on your eyelid while sleeping? No? Well, don't judge me, I grew up in a house that was set back in some woods. We had bugs. And mice. Occasionally snakes. My mom warmed our beds at night with bricks heated in the fireplace stuffed inside a sock. No fucking joke. I'm 25 and I grew up in 1912. But those spider bites are something fierce if you've ever had one, or seen one. I'm basically saying that the hot tub was one big spider and my penis was the eyelid. It's not pleasant.

I'm taking the rest of the week off from work, which may or may not include blogging. Enjoy the weekend if I don't pop back in.

Bold Prediction for 2011 and Beyond

2009-12-30T13:32:00.003-05:00

Here it is: Proliferation of streaming, on-demand mobile pornography will have disastrous consequences for worker productivity and drivers every where.

At the very least there's a 3-1 chance of this guy losing his job in the next 12 months because of it.

Isn't technology fantastic? And let's not leave porn out either. Porn's pretty good too. But without technology I'd still be jerking off to my imagination. Stupid imagination.

Plan To End Homelessness Foiled By Homeless People

2009-12-29T14:47:00.007-05:00

Way back in the optimistic year of 2008 when it seemed like nothing was out of our collective reach, Baltimore's esteemed, and not-yet-convicted mayor debuted a 10 year plan to end homelessness in Charm City. Tens of millions of dollars and two years later, the Baltimore Sun reports on city efforts to close a tent city under a major highway leading to this statistic:

Early last year, Mayor Sheila Dixon announced a 10-year plan to end homelessness in Baltimore. A June study showed Baltimore's homeless population had increased by 12 percent, to about 3,500 individuals.

It's progress. Not forward progress, but the statistic is moving. And that's definitely progress...in some way.