'I'd Hit It', Along With More Insightful Commentary

I caught the majority of Palin's speech last night while tending bar; so I was pretty drunk and little preoccupied, but from what I saw/heard, plus the reaction of my 5-7 customers, it was a winner. To sum it up -- Great speech, good delivery, pretty family.

More specifically:

1. I dug her hair. I dug everything. The whole look reminded me of my slutty 11th grade History teacher who tried to press sexual harassment charges on me. Pouty lips, stern face, looks great in heels. How do you not love her look?

2. Attractive family. The daughter is what I dream about 17 year old pregnant girls looking like....You know IF I dreamt about that type of thing, which is to say of course I do.

Side note on this kid Levi who struck gold with a Palin vagina -- Is there a luckier 17 year old soon-to-be-dad out there? For any other high school boy, finding out that you knocked up your girlfriend is the worst news ever. At least for me it was. Damn scary. That could be beccause the girls I was boning had mothers who worked at the Hair Cuttery, not the Govenors mansion...But that's my point, this kid is set for life now all because he knocked up a 17 year old. I want that life.

3. She can give a good speech. I pretty much agree with what has been repeated 100 times since last night about her style -- she delivers a great speech in a Middle-America kind of way. Good rhythm, tone, language, everything. It's a much, MUCH different style from Obama, but still effective. Maybe more so, maybe not. Time will tell.

My One Thought from Day 2 of the RNC Convention

They couldn't find one black guy to throw in the entire convention center? Not one?

Now back to Secret Lives of Women on We. It's specialty modeling -- yes, including pregnancy.

Looks Like It's Palin

We will know for sure in an hour or so, but it pretty much looks like Alaskan beauty Sarah Palin will be McCain's VP pick. It has its downsides, but on a whole it's a damn impressive pick by McCain, especially when you consider other names that were floating around....As someone who considers themselves a right-leaning libertarian, the pick is about has good as McCain could have done.

I Thought Democrats were the 'Buy Local' Party?

Apparently it doesn't apply to local exotic dancers:

The political convention is kind of a bust for downtown strip clubs, but techies in town for next week's electronics show should give the clubs a boost, one exotic dancer said.

Michelle Horning, a dancer at La Boheme, said business is slower this week than normal because there is a big lull in customers in the evenings during the political speeches. [...]

Business at another club, the Diamond Cabaret, has remained steady, employees said, despite several road closures due to protests that shut off the club's valet parking.

Horning said exotic dancers from across the country, expecting large crowds because of the Democratic National Convention, contacted La Boheme in the past several weeks hoping to dance this week. Management turned them down, however, opting to let the club's more tenured dancers take the stage.

Dancers and servers at the club are still hoping visiting Democrats will drop some cash at La Boheme, though.

"It's just been mediocre. At the end of the week, it will be better," Horning said.

No word on the hooker traffic during the convention; but just between us (and by us I mean the two people who still check out TtP -- yes I know who you are and where you live) we have a secret convention corespondent who always keeps his hands on the pulse, and ass, of the prostitution scene where ever he finds himself. I'll try and get a read from him after the convention.

DNC Convention: Rumble in the Rockies

It's been awhile...Time for a drunk blogging, DNC Convention post!

8:15: My former Rep Steny Hoyer is now speaking. I don't really care about what he has to say, but I'd like it if PBS would go back to the round table that had the hot 20 year old Obama delegate.

"we Democrats have been working every day for hard working Americans...We raised the minimum wage" --me -- So be hard working Americans you mean white, middle-class teenagers? 'Cause that's who the minimum wage increase really helped.

More from Steny:
"Everyday we strive to honor a principle familiar to every American family. We ought to spend what we have." Really...he said that. How do Democrats try to act as though they don't spend a shit load of our money? Do they get away with it?

8:30: Union time! Service Employees International Union. Yuck. Uhh...So I hear that John McCain is offering "more of the same". Have you?

I want to face fuck the SEIU president until I blow a huge load in her eyes.

8:35: I'm pretty sure Arizona Gov Janet Napolitano is a man. Scary looking -- and sounding -- man.

8:50: Speaking of scary men....I needed a break and switched to TLC where it is Half Man Half Tree hour. Some fucked up dudes.

9:20: I don't care how drunk I get, this is boring shit. Bob Casey made me want to abort myself he was so dull. Where's Hillary? When does she come out? Or better -- where's Bill? Is he tom morrow? Shame, I want him speaking as much as possible.

10:00: Still waiting for Hillary....

10:40: Quite a video they put together. But a low energy enterance for Hillary. And Chelsea is more than bonable. This is the type of Convention coverage you expect out of TtP.

Michelle Obama is beyond bonable. Downright sexy.


It's tough to tell if this is a kinda-bad, low-energy Hillary speech; or just a normal, kinda-bad, low-energy Hillary speech. I actually forgot how not good she is at this type of thing. You know, speeches.


10:57: OK, I'll now say that she does seem to be doing more than her fair share for Obama. The back half of the speech is pretty damn good. Even gives a plug for hubby Bill, who hasn't gotten much praise during this convention.

Sex Crime Friday Links

Gary Glitter is running out of South East Asian countries to call home. Gee...I wonder why he doesn't want to leave?

Glitter faces detention after refusing to board flight from Thailand

Disgraced former glam rock star demands to be allowed to stay in Thailand after deportation from Vietnam

The disgraced former glam rocker Gary Glitter could find himself behind bars again after refusing to board a flight to London following his deportation from Vietnam after serving a jail sentence for sexually abusing children.

The 64-year-old, whose real name is Paul Gadd, today remained in the transit lounge of Bangkok airport, where he had been due to change planes, but will be transferred to a detention centre if he continues to thwart efforts to send him back to the UK

Could Glitter be anymore obvious about wanting to have sex with little asian children? At least try to pretend like you aren't so eager to stay in countries that are pretty much only known for being an easy place to score pre-teen tail. Instead of trying to only go to Cambodia, Singapore and Thailand after being expelled from Vietnam after Gary already served a prison sentence for molesting 2 little girls; he should throw in at least one country that isn't noted for its pedophilia tourism. I dunno, like a Canada. Or Iceland.

Why you never trust ice cream truck drivers or men who coach sports teams who don't have a kid on the team -- Ice cream man pleads guilty to sex crimes:

There are disturbing new details about a man who pleaded guilty to a sex crime. According to an arrest report, back in March, an ice cream truck driver lured a mentally challenged 16-year-old boy with the promise of free ice cream.

Detectives say that's when Ibrahim Alsmadi touched the teen and forced the teen to touch him. Last week, Alsmadi pleaded guilty to open or gross lewdness. He still would've been selling ice cream to kids had city leaders not stepped in.

Not really a sex crime..But it's a crime in Dubai and it involves sex. Close enough.

A BUSINESSMAN accused of having sex on a Dubai beach with a fellow Brit claims they were only kissing.

Father-of-one, Vince Acors, 34, of Homesdale Road, Bromley, appeared before Dubai's Court of First Instance last Tuesday with sales rep Michelle Palmer, 36, in a hearing brought forward from August 21 to avoid intense media attention. Police allegedly caught the pair having sex on Jumeirah Open Beach, on July 5 this year and charged them with having an illicit affair, performing an indecent act in public and consuming alcohol.

The duo face up to six years in jail in the Islamic city if found guilty.

Yet one more reason why I will never step foot in Dubai. No booze, no sex and no drugs. Sounds like a great time.