MLS Blogging

If you can, turn on the LA-NY game. Beckham--2 assists 9 min in, and an unreal enthusiasm at Giants Stadium. We also have a DC-Columbus game. Makes an afternoon drinking day that much better.

UPDATE: It's 45-4 in the Beckham game (if it was possiable for me to be ashamed, I'd be ashamed to say I'm taping the DC game) and I'm sitting here watching this great game in an electric setting thinking how great it would be if mass people in the States were into the game of soccer. Time to get drunk.

Beckham Watch

That didn't take too long. Beckham just put away his first goal, unsupringly unsuprisingly on a free kick, putting LA up by one over DC in the Supaliga Semifinal. Really good game if anyone gets the spanish station it's on.

Mixed Bag of Friday Links

Scratch my previous, optimistic post on the poppy situation in Afghanistan. Today I read this:

WASHINGTON - American combat troops will be thrown into the fight against narcotics traffickers in Afghanistan, where despite a $1 billion U.S. effort, another record opium crop is expected this fall, U.S. anti-drug officials said yesterday.

In a briefing for reporters, the officials outlined the new approach as part of a "basic strategy shift" in the U.S. campaign in Afghanistan.

In case that doesn't worry you enough, I can throw in quotes from John Walters, more on interdiction and eradication....The favorite buzzwords of Drug Warriors.

In southern Afghanistan where poppy cultivation has increased the fastest, the emphasis will be on crop eradication and on "taking down" drug kingpins and narco-traffickers, said Thomas Schweich, the State Department's top counter-narcotics official

[...]

Walters said he has worked closely on the plan with U.S. and international commanders in Iraq and with Gates and others at the Pentagon. Currently, the U.S. military command in Afghanistan, Joint Task Force 82, provides some limited intelligence to Afghan forces on missions to interdict drug shipments, according to a Congressional Research Service report published in June.

Note to drug mules -- The authorities are on to you and you 6 inch platform shoes. My advice -- Switch to a giant sombrero.

PGA Championship started yesterday. From Sobel's blog at ESPN:

2:46 p.m.: The Legend of John Daly continues to grow.

Daly just completed his post-round news conference and talked about eschewing practice rounds at Southern Hills in favor of -- you guessed it -- going to a casino.

On Tuesday, Daly played slots at nearby Cherokee Casino and said he did very well. He went back the next day (yesterday) and didn't fare as well on the slots, but got in some golf at the casino's course.

I heart John Daly. Here's to hoping he stays in the hunt come this weekend.

Beckham made his MLS debut with about 15-20 min left in last nights game in DC. Anyone go? He certainly made an impact on the flow of the game, providing some direction for a LA team that looked like poop for most of the game. DC won 1-0.

Ehh, What Are Ya' Gonnadu?

Former child star Freddy Adu to Portugal:

LISBON (AFP) - Freddy Adu, the most recognisable name in the Major League Soccer, was on Monday poised to sign a five year deal with Portuguese side Benfica.

The Ghana-born Adu, 18, was twice named an MLS All-Star - in 2004 and 2006 - helped DC United capture the 2004 MLS Cup during his rookie season.

According to press reports here Benfica have already paid out 1.5 million euros to recruit the United states international.

Must have been a prepared copy from 2006. Most recognisable name in MLS? What about this guy named Beckham?

Pele insists David Beckham is more of a 'pop star' than a footballer and has urged the Los Angeles Galaxy superstar to focus totally on his sport if he is to succeed in the United States.

The former England captain wants to raise the profile of the game in the US after signing a five-year contract with the Galaxy, though his on-field impact has so far been limited by an ankle injury suffered on national team duty last month.

Beckham hasn't played since the 12-odd minutes against Chelsea. I'm gonna say that drugs are to blame for the headline. A more hopeful, domestic article on Adu here.

Friday Links

I've just spent the last 2 days shitting, vomiting, and whimpering in the fetal position as I've done my best to overcome the effects of reduced-sale oysters from Wal-Mart. Oysters....From Wal-Mart? They were like 15 for $4...Try getting that deal at a market or any raw bar.

Enough of my complaining, on to the links!

No set up needed for this story:[emphasis mine]

PALMETTO -- A 63-year-old man who authorities say twice pushed his entire arm into a horse's vaginal cavity was jailed Tuesday on a felony-level animal cruelty charge.

Manatee County sheriff's deputies said the man, Bradenton resident Leslie M. Gee, who is not a veterinarian, caused "unnecessary pain and suffering" to the horse, a bay mare named Bella, stabled in the 2500 block of 29th Street East in Palmetto.

Palmetto, Florida....In case you were unsure..

David Beckham has arrived; did you miss the coverage? Hopefully he can squeeze a game or two in between all those steamy photo shoots and interviews...

The folks at Bureaucrash had some fun with the "Yes Men" outside of the Cato Institute. Check the video out.

McCain actually has less cash on hand than previously reported. How about a paltry $250,000 after you subtract the $1.75 mill in debt that the campaign currently holds.

It's stories like this, and days without cicero that make me feel alone and shamed at TtP:

HAGERSTOWN, Md. (AP) - A former Ku Klux Klan leader sexually assaulted his 15-year-old adopted sister to punish her for sloppy housekeeping and rowdy behavior, the girl testified in court Thursday.

Round-Up - Drugs and Beckham

Random links from this week before I head off to Amsterdam for a week or so. I hope to check in here a few times, but if I don't, I want it known that I'm not pulling a ' The Intern'.

What a mom.

A Hutchinson man was convicted Monday on several drug charges after evidence showed he had 44 pounds of marijuana.

John Cantu, 23, was arrested March 1, 2005, after his mother called police to report she had found several bags of marijuana in her son's bedroom.

Full three paragraph blurb here.

Via DrugWarRant, check out this example of reporting from the Wichita Falls station, KAUZ News.

The War on Drugs, is a battle fought daily by the Wichita Falls Police Department. Who's winning that war, the police or the people on the receiving end? and what is the choice of drug-- circulating in our town? News channel six's Ashley Fitzwater takes an inside look and finds out who's controlling the battle

That's just the first paragraph. All errors - puctuation and grammar - are the sole responsibility of the original author. Must have been "Bring Your Retarded Kid to Work Day" at KAUZ.

Exciting news from LA, where it's being reported that David Beckham will sign with Major League Soccer and play for the LA Galaxy. This wasn't totally unexpected, but it's still an important move for US soccer. And if you don't already, how about supporting the only DC area team that manages to win something.

Lindsay Lohan's Vagina

This post is dedicated to TtP reader Mike who appreciates my links to Superficial posts about Lindsay Lohan giving head, not wearing underwear, etc. You can see her shaved twat here (NSFW). The Superficial accurately describes her vagina as follows:

If you're easily offended by beat-up looking vaginas, I highly recommend you not click the above image. Because this one looks like it went ten rounds with a boxing kangaroo.

Yum!

As an added bonus, here's a link to pictures of Victoria Beckham with her shirt unbuttoned.

As an added added bonus, here's a link to a video of Michelle Malkin talking about Girls Gone Wild, via The Agitator who understands Bill O'Reilly's game (hint: clips of hot college girls going wild sells).

BIG BREASTS

Now that I have your attention, let's talk about big breasts. It's been many weeks since I last posted a Hump Day Lunchtime Threesome. My apologies. I've been super busy. It's hard out here for a pimp right now. I hope to return to that deliciousness next week. Until then, here are two stories from The Superficial.

First, Victoria Beckham is so poor she can't even afford buttons for her shirt and is forced to walk around London exposing her bra. Damn you, poverty! I'm launching a fundraising drive for her, although it's not so much a fundraising drive as a long night of masturbation to these pictures.

Second, Pamela Anderson participated in a protest against fur by stripping down in the window of Stella McCartney's London boutique. I would do a Google search to see if breast implants contain gelatin or other animal parts, but I'm too busy looking at a scantily shielded profile of her breasts. God, they're big. You could fit a couple of midgets in those things. Not full-size midgets, of course; but midget midgets. You know, the ones that are much shorter than other midgets. Can you imagine a midget living inside one of Pamela Anderson's breasts? Think that's stupid? Well, you know who didn't think it was stupid? Fox Television. They bought my script, and the series comes out next year.

...Than a $300 Eros Bill

Ananova reports (link mildly NSFW) on an influx of fake Euros in Germany.

The notes, in 300, 600 and 1,000 euro denominations have a ring of 12 hearts instead of the usual EU stars and feature hunky men and big-breasted nude women.

Instead of the word 'Euro' being printed in the corner these notes have 'Eros' - the Greek god of love.

While some boast a half-naked woman, at least some of the notes look to feature a half-naked David Beckham.

[Via Sploid.]

USOC Shortchanging Athletes?

Thumbing through the February 6th issue of Sports Illustrated, I noticed that the US gives a bonus of $25,000 to athletes who win individual gold medals -- less than Italy ($157,385), the Czech Republic ($42,762), and Japan ($25,582).

On the upside, this country outdistances Switzerland, Australia, and Canada (who gives no bonus).

It's good to see individual athletic achievement nominally rewarded.

Speaking of the Torino, every American and/or consumer of athletic footwear is invited to join Bode Miller. In what, I have no idea.

More on the Miller media frenzy to come. Right now, he's making David Beckham look like yesterday's "it" boy. Not that soccer will ever make it in a land already obsessed with football, baseball and basketball.

The Obligatory No-One-Else-is-Posting- So-I-Have-to-Post Post

A few random ideas gathered from around the world...

Cafe du Monde's heavenly beignets are back! Meanwhile, New Orleans' city council is smartly looking to extend daylight-savings' time and prolong dreaded darkness.

Bench it like Beckham?

The Darkness to sing about baldness.

Portland (Oregon) will be hosting the Wild About Game festival next weekend. Among the featured meals is the downright mouthwatering Applewood Bacon Wrapped Oregon Fallow Venison with Bourbon-Glazed Acorn Squash, Wild Mushrooms and Sauce Grand Veneur. (My stomach just grumbled.)

Parker Posey sucks. I'm so sick of reading Posey apologists type rubbish like this every time she's in a movie: "The movie's sole salvation is Parker Posey, who must have agreed to star as a favor (I can't imagine the money was that good)." She sucks. She's in bad movies. Enough already.

The brothers Gallagher from Oasis -- who I saw late last month and who were as good as I'd seen them in 10 years -- are interviewed (separately) here.

Latest Miers news. Withdraw, dammit!

Huffy is back from the brink. New Chinese chairman helps save American jobs.

[Cross-posted at The Agitator.]

Links Aplenty

Slow news days (like this one) are a good time to probe deeper, reading up on important stories the details of which you might normally miss. That said, you'll find precious little to help you do that in this post.

Senator Affleck (D-Va.)?

From Japan, sing along with Suntory's Bubble Man soda, enjoy hours of fun exploring their line of quirky beverages (my favorite is Caffeine Shiki), and check out the new Starbucks drink they're distributing; it's the coffee giant's first designed for and sold exclusively outside the U.S.

In more coffee news, New Orleans coffee industry grinding back after storms.

China's Xinhua has a brief slideshow of exceptionally clever, suggestive-yet-worksafe ads.

New video from the Happy Mondays.

In Venezuela, Hugo Chavez's "socialism of the 21st century" inches closer by the day to fulfilling the elected despot's dream of wrecking the increasingly impoverished country. And, not that he cares, but his Zogby numbers aren't looking so good either.

Co-opted from England's David Beckham, as all male fashion is, natch, the phenomenon of metrosexuality has made its way to India (don't take my word... start clicking), China and South Africa.

[Cross-posted at The Agitator.]

David Beckham is Omnipresent (in My Mailbox)

Most Americans probably don't recognize David Beckham, even though he is arguably the most popular athlete on the planet still playing. The short answer is that he's the 31-year old captain of the English football (read: soccer) team who plays professionally for a Spanish squad called Real Madrid. He is also married to a gal named Victoria, who used to play the role of "Posh" in a little entertainment act called The Spice Girls. Since his engagement to Victoria, who has just admitted that she has never read a book in her life, I have glibly called the man many refer to as "Becks" as "(Mr.) Soccer Spice."

Victoria's admission is rather odd, given the presence of her hubby's two autobiographies and the one that she penned herself. Also, in a bold (and pretty successful) public relations maneuver, the couple allowed their wedding to be photographed and sold in a hardbound volume. One would think that the Beckham library includes these four books, at the very least.

What's all the fuss over Mr. Soccer Spice stateside recently? Why has he heated up my mailbox on two separate occasions this past month: on both a bona fide sports magazine (pictured here), and a the uber-metrosexual/not-so-slyly gay lifestyle magazine Details? None of the feature articles carry anything resembling the "depth" of his own rather insipid books. I guess his "people" figure that the United States is the final frontier in his global superstardom.

My prediction: he will be more known in this country as a corporate spokesman/model who is stars in a sport that no one really cares about. The fact that we still have a professional soccer league up and running here in the U.S.A. is remarkable in itself. Sure, Landon Donovan is a good blend of talent and being telegenic -- but soccer is still an incredibly boring sport to watch. If anything, the U.S. should have a professional rugby league.

During the Summer of 1998, I witnessed the British obsession with their version of football firsthand. I was surprised that people actually cared about the World Cup for starters. And I was doubly surprised at the national ire focused on Soccer Spice when he was "red-carded" (ejected) in a match against Argentina. If I recall correctly, one newspaper had a picture of a weary, forlorn looking Beckham exiting an airplane with a large headline reading "England's Shame." I know that I have the front section of the (London) Times somewhere on that not-so-fateful day, but that probably wasn't it.

Sadly, Soccer Spice has replaced Survivor's Colby Donaldson as the face of Gillette. Colby is my favorite Survivor contestant of all time. How can you not be when you read this? He is more than qualified to serve as the son of a British Prime Minister who just happens to be interning for House Rules Committee Chairman David Dreier.