Obama Wouldn't Let Muslims In th....Hey, Look at those Boobies!

Two really dense campaign workers wouldn't let headscarf wearing women in a camera shot during an Obama rally. Politico:

Two Muslim women at Barack Obama's rally in Detroit Monday were barred from sitting behind the podium by campaign volunteers seeking to prevent the women's headscarves from appearing in photographs or on television with the candidate.[...]

That incident began when the volunteer asked Aref's friend Ali Koussan and two other friends, Aref's brother Sharif and another young lawyer, Brandon Edward Miller, whether they would like to sit behind the stage. The three young men said they would, but mentioned they were with friends.

The men said the volunteer, a twenty-something African American woman in a green shirt, asked if their friends looked and were dressed like the young men, who were all light-skinned and wearing suits. Miller said yes, but mentioned that one of their friends was wearing a headscarf with her suit.

The volunteer "explained to me that because of the political climate and what's going on in the world and what's going on with Muslim Americans it's not good for her to be seen on TV or associated with Obama," said Koussan, who is a law student at Wayne State University.

Fantastic stuff. I hope the Obama campaign sticks with this new style of politics, that seems eerily similar to old style identity politics.

In more important news...The Obama camp pointed out that the above picture, taken the day after the no headscarf incidents proved that he doesn't hate Muslims. I dunno about that, to me it just proves that he likes 19 year old boobies.

Politico story here.

Oh the Humanity!

Angela Merkel dresses to impress at an Opera House opening in Norway.

She's the one on the left in case you weren't sure. The one with the 1995, 14y-old-boy-skater-bowl-cut. What the fuck is the deal with that hair? Explains the breasts flopping out of the low-cut dress; she needed something to distract people from her hideous, asexual haircut. Or rather, not distract, but prove that she is in fact a 50-something female head of state, and not a 15 year old boy on the JV soccer team who listens to Nirvana and wears Vans sneakers.

Previous Merkel hi-jinks here.

Show Me Some Boobies!

My Dad passes this along with the subject line -- "Your readers might be interested in this info..."
Gizmodo:

When we're driving cross country, navigating the backroads of America with our trusty GPS unit, we always think, "boy, I wish this thing had fewer gas stations and more titty bars." Hurrah for NUDAR, the site that hopes to catalogue every single nude, topless, pastie, bikini bar, nude beach and nudist resort in the continental US. You can contribute by sending in the location of nude places so people can download the "Points of Interest" to their GPS devices for use on the road. I'll show you point of interest, baby.

Brilliant! It pains me to say so; but it looks like my trusty, and always rock solid BONAR is now obsolete. What will technology replace next?

For All Our Fans Who Got to Us by Googling "Hot Monkey Sex"

Fred Thompson may not understand basic economics but monkeys do.

It turns out that one of humanity's oldest professions may be even older than we thought: In a recent study of macaque monkeys in Indonesia, researchers found that male primates "paid" for sexual access to females — and that the going rate for such access dwindled as the number of available females went up.

According to the paper, "Payment for Sex in a Macaque Mating Market," published in the December issue of Animal Behavior, males in a group of about 50 long-tailed macaques in Kalimantan Tengah, Indonesia, traded grooming services for sex with females; researchers, who studied the monkeys for some 20 months, found that males offered their payment up-front, as a kind of pre-sex ritual. It worked. After the females were groomed by male partners, female sexual activity more than doubled, from an average of 1.5 times an hour to 3.5 times. The study also showed that the number of minutes that males spent grooming hinged on the number of females available at the time: The better a male's odds of getting lucky, the less nit-picking time the females received. Though primates have been observed trading grooming for food sharing or infant care, this is the first time this kind of exchange has been observed between male and female primates in a sexual context, says lead researcher Michael Gumert of Singapore's Nanyang Technological University, demonstrating that the amount of time a male macaque "will invest in [its] partner" depends largely on how many options it has around.

This research suggests several things.

First, if grooming your date to get sex is prostitution than so is buying her dinner. Or for that matter listening to what she has to say. If I lived in Alaska I would probably hang on my date's every word. At least if she was watching me closely. If I thought she wasn't paying attention I would watch a cartoon monkey dance in my head while she talked. But I would at least pretend like I was paying attention. Because I live in DC, where single women are everywhere, I can happily tell women to fuck off and let me watch Family Guy.

Second, when law enforcement wastes taxpayer resources arresting prostitutes they're acting as a price support mechanism that keeps the price of hookers artificially high. Or in monkey math, more arrests = more grooming. Since corruption runs rampant in many law enforcement agencies, we should assume that police are trying to keep prices high for area pimps.

Third, here are pictures of Kelly Brook bathing topless. Not directly related, but I would love to groom her. NSFW BTW.

My Kind of Soldier

This is outrageous.

A woman has been kicked out of army training because she has silicone breast implants. Alessija Dorfmann, 23, said: “I am devastated. It has always been my dream to be a soldier and have a great figure.

“Now my fake boobs have cost me my job.”

She has appealed against the ruling by top brass in Hamburg, Germany, who said implants increased risk of injury.

The Case for Legalizing Same-sex Marriage Outlawing Heterosexual Marriage

I love it when people who oppose legalizing same-sex marriage say that letting gays marry would undermine the institution of marriage. If that's the standard than we should outlaw heterosexual marriage too.

It seems like only two months ago that Pamela Anderson was aglow with happiness over her quickie Las Vegas wedding to Rick Salomon. Actually, it was. But the 40-year-old ex-"Baywatch" beauty has filed for divorce from her 38-year-old husband after just two months of marriage.
[...]
Salomon is best known for making a sex videotape with Paris Hilton, his girlfriend at the time, and was previously married to actress Shannen Doherty. Anderson was previously married to singer Kid Rock and Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee.

Great scientific analysis of Pamela Anderson's breasts here. Slightly NSFW.

Mind Your Own Business, Spain

Irish airline Ryanair has released a for-charity calendar featuring its "air hostesses" (flight attendants, I guess) in bikinis. And this aerospace engineer simply can't think of a better combination than bikini-clad Irish women and 737s.

But a Spanish government-funded women's rights institute is not happy.

MADRID, Spain: Spain's government-run Women's Institute has labeled a 2008 calendar for low-cost airline Ryanair featuring bikini-wearing air hostesses as sexist and said it would be sending letters of complaint to Irish and EU authorities.

The institute, which defends women's rights, said that while the fact that the proceeds from calendar sales would go to charity was positive, the photographs "represent the stewardesses as sexual objects" and "reinforce discriminatory stereotypes."

"It is significant that that only women are used, in a sector in which there is a considerable percentage of men," the institute, which is part of the Labor and Social Affairs Ministry, said in a statement.

I guess Spain thinks that Ryanair is the first to think of selling a calendar featuring scantily-clad women. I mean, hasn't this made it to Spain yet?

No word yet on whether the EU is actually going to act on this. But this is one thing about a multi-nation continental "government" that worries me. Spain could have prevented the calendar from being sold within its borders and called it a day. But now it wants papa EU to (presumably) prevent Ryanair from selling its calendar period.

Let's hope the EU gives this Spanish government organization the same treatment that the Spanish king gave Hugo Chavez.

Hooters Girls of the World, Unite For A Cause

Q. When do SWAT teams NOT make the national MSM news?

A. When they raid the wrong houses, kill dogs, and put guns to the heads of children or the elderly.

Q. When do SWAT teams make the national MSM news?

A. When they pose with armed Hooters girls.

If we could only unite an army of busty libertarians to bring down any and all threats to civil liberties... And just one picture of Dick Cheney with his head wedged in cleavage would probably do more to bring him down than any well-researched article or report on his Constitution-stomping shenanigans.

Depressing but true, folks. I'm going to pack the ol' assault rifle in the armored car and go get myself some buffalo wings.

Story here.

Suspected Skank Turns Out to be a Skank

Remember that hot 23-year-old college student who Southwest Airlines almost kicked off a flight for dressing too slutty? Well, now she's posing for Playboy. Jesus, Buddha, Allah, I love you all!

Kyla Ebbert appears in a series of pictures — some in lingerie, some nude — under the heading, "Legs in the Air."

"They're very tastefully done," Ebbert told The Associated Press on Thursday. "I don't see anything wrong with the female body."

Wow. We have so much in common.

Safe for work story here.

Off and On

Off my vacation destination list:

El Alto, Bolivia.

Prostitutes in the Bolivian city of El Alto sewed their lips together Wednesday as part of a hunger strike to demand that the mayor reopen brothels and bars ordered closed after violent protests by residents last week.

On my vacation destination list:

Western Australia.

CANBERRA (Reuters) - An Australian barmaid has been fined for crushing beer cans between her bare breasts while an off-duty colleague has been fined for hanging spoons from her friend's nipples, police said Wednesday.

Which One Doesn't Fit?

Celebrating breast cancer awareness among a culture that doesn't even appreciate boobies. It's heresy. A sham. Makes a mockery out of boobies everywhere.

Polish Politics: the Most Entertaining in Europe

If the Polish Women's Party secures any seats in the upcoming round of elections, I may have to order Polski C-Span. In what maybe the best political advertising campaign of all time the Polish Women’s Party has taken to posing in the nude on their party posters. Time add a bunch of candidates to the world leaders I’d like to bone list.

Alas, it looks like the Polish Women's Party will need all the help they can get to defeat the dastardly Law and Justice Party ruled by the Kaczynski twins. Sounds like the makings of a really bad soap. For the finer points on Polish Politics go check out Foreign Policy’s Passport.

Man of the Year

Thank you Jim McBride. And thank your mother too. Your proof that any kid with a love for boobies can become famous if he just applies himself. You truly are doing the lord's work.

Jim McBride has made it his life's work to know how much naked female flesh appears in movies -- an obsession apparently shared by millions of people.

So far McBride, a.k.a. Mr. Skin, and a staff that includes his mother, who works as a "skintern," have chronicled nude women in more than 25,000 movies and television shows.

It is all recorded on his Web site, www.mrskin.com, which has been running for eight years, and on Saturday McBride launched into print, publishing "Mr. Skin's Skintastic Video Guide" to "the 501 greatest movies for sex and nudity on DVD."

"It's the greatest job in the world," said McBride. "As a kid I used to tape as many movies as I could with nudity and then I'd save the nude scenes on separate tapes. I really amazed my friends with my nudity knowledge growing up."

[...]

"We have eight to 10 people who just go through movies and television shows... for nudity, female nudity only," he said. "We don't do male nudity. I think it's mainly because this job is so fun I didn't want to make it work."

He said his Web site, which had a 35 percent boost to nearly 7 million hits a month after it featured in this year's hit movie "Knocked Up," was a celebration of female nudity that only chronicles mainstream movies, not pornography.

Why Suzy Shuster Should Have Her Vagina Slashed

Over at The Huffington Post, Suzy Shuster has a long but interesting post in support of legislation in California that would require pet owners to spray or neuter their cats and dogs or face fines. She even gets a few zings in at people like me.

There are people who feel neutering a male dog is akin to defacing it, and some male owners just seem to have some strange and pathetic testicular infatuation with their dog's manhood -- or as I like to call it, Ball Infatuation. To those I say, "Gentlemen, measure your own worth by your own, well, you know, not your dog's."

I've blogged before about the hypocrisy in the animal rights movement and its relations to the socialist thinking that dominates it (i.e., it's wrong for humans to hurt animals for our own benefit, but OK to hurt them if it's "for their own good", with their own good being decided by humans - white, liberal, over-educated humans at that). I won't belabor this point. I'm sure you want me to shut up already and get back to linking to pictures of women with nice racks. For the record, I don't think animals have any rights. So neuter your dogs if you want. And pit them against each other in a dog fight if you like. Just don't say there's a difference between the two. And oh yeah, pictures of Ice-T's wife's gigantic breasts here.

Boycott Southwest Airlines Until They Rescind Their Anti-Skank Policy

I'm not one to boycott things, except sobriety and chastity, but I definitely won't be flying Southwest anytime soon. It seems wearing an outfit like the one in the picture to the right is enough to get Southwest flight attendants to try to bar you from flying. Frightening. Not in a scary movie kind of way. In a "how will I ever rub one off in the airplane bathroom" kind of way.

Southwest Airlines stands behind a flight attendant's decision to confront a passenger about her "revealing" clothing for wearing a white denim miniskirt, high-heel sandals and a sweater over a tank top.

[...]

[The skank] said a male flight attendant approached her two months ago after she had taken her seat and asked her to change her outfit, according to a report.

"I asked him what part of my outfit was offensive," Ebbert told the San Diego Union-Tribune. "The shirt? The skirt? And he said, 'The whole thing.'"
[...]
The airline asked Ebbert to go home, change her clothes and return for a later flight, but she refused, according to the report. Despite the back-and-forth, the airline relented.

That male flight attendant is obviously gay. I say obviously not because he told a woman to cover herself up, but because he's a flight attendant.

Full story here.

Most People Go to the WaPost for Hard News and Commentary. Me? I'm Just there for the Facebook Articles

Can one ever get enough of the Facebook and "social networking" space fillers? I sure hope not, because I blog on everyone of them. Every single last one of them. Without them how would I know that 75% of college cellphone users send and receive text messages? Or that a lot of people between the ages of 18-25 use e-mail? Bet you didn't know that. Or that fat girls prefer to meet people online first? 'Cause I've never boned a fat chick that I met online. Never. Ever. And if I did she would probably just be considered big boned with huge breast. And not really fat....Either way, enjoy reading another pointless, major newspaper story about the current generation and their obsession with being "connected" all day long. I'll leave you with a the only part of the article that I can identify with.

In some cases, Cohen says, technology itself is the old friend from home: Online games, porn and social networking sites can be seductive de-stressors that interfere with face-to-face interaction.

I'm Back (German Cleavage Edition)

I'm finally back from vacation, not that anyone noticed since I don't post anything even when I'm not on vacation. Anyway, a German bus driver may be the only heterosexual bus driver in the world not interested in looking at his passengers' cleavage.

A German bus driver threatened to throw a 20-year-old sales clerk off his bus in the southern town of Lindau because he said she was too sexy, a newspaper reported Monday.

"Suddenly he stopped the bus," the woman named Debora C. told Bild newspaper. "He opened the door and shouted at me 'Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look into my mirror and I can't concentrate on the traffic. If you don't sit somewhere else, I'm going to have to throw you off the bus.'"
[...]
A spokesman for the bus company defended the driver.

"The bus driver is allowed to do that and he did the right thing," the spokesman said. "A bus driver cannot be distracted because it's a danger to the safety of all the passengers."

The busty passenger was featured in the German newspaper Bild, complete with pictures. If you speak German, please do us all a favor and search the newspaper's website for her picture.

God Bless Mormons

Eight wives, 16 breasts. Do the math people.

Polygamy, once hidden in the shadows of Utah and Arizona, is breaking into the open as fundamentalist Mormons push to decriminalize it on religious grounds, while at the same time stamping out abuses such as forced marriages of underage brides.

[...]

Historians say [Mormonism founder Joseph] Smith took at least two dozen wives, some of them before 1843, the year he announced a revelation from God saying polygamy was a crucial key to entering the Kingdom of Heaven.

"I don't think the revelation that Joseph Smith received came from Christ," said John Llewellyn, a retired Salt Lake County policeman who once practiced polygamy but now campaigns against it. "I think it came from his Y (male) chromosome."

More - a lot more - here. Gratutious link to pictures of Carmen Electra dancing with the Pussycat Dolls here.

Winning Islamic Hearts and Minds, One Nip at a Time

Via The Corner:

CAIRO (Reuters) - Cairo's al-Azhar Islamic University on Monday suspended a lecturer who suggested that men and women work colleagues could use symbolic breastfeeding to get around a religious ban on being alone together.

The lecturer, Ezzat Atiya, had drawn on Islamic traditions which forbid sexual relations between a man and a woman who has breastfed him to suggest that symbolic breastfeeding could be a way around strict segregation of males and females.

[...]

The Dubai-based channel Al Arabiya quoted him as saying that after five breastfeedings the man and woman could be alone together without violating Islamic law and the woman could remove her headscarf to reveal her hair.

Clever, I guess. Jesus, what absolute shit-holes these countries are. You have scholars coming up with ideas like symbolic breastfeeding, only because they need a way around segregation of the sexes. Another reminder of why it is so repulsive that we send billions of taxpayer dollars to prop up these totalitarian regimes in the name of realism. And they still hate us. Enough all ready. What's the point? Eventually these places will descend into revolution and the new guys/radicals who come in to power, will use past US support for the former dictator against us. It's a losing proposition no matter how you look at it.

Full article here.

God Made Lindsay Lohan's Right Nipple

So, I'm sure he wouldn't have a problem with me linking to a picture of it exposed. Just click on the pictures for the uncensored shots. NSFW. Unless you work for Penthouse magazine. Or Reason. Or possibly Family Research Council, if you can argue that you have to look at the pictures to write an action alert condeming them. Sadly, the celebrity nipples I really want to see - Salma Hayek's - are too covered up. As my dad used to say, what's the point of gaining two breasts sizes by being pregnant if you're not going to show them off. Or was it the homeless guy in my neighborhood who said that. I can't remember. They both smell like urine when they drink. Oh wait, that's me.

Sure You Won't Lose Weight, But It's Still Fun

I guess I haven't been keeping up with my breast-feeding and obesity news. I didn't know that the conventional wisdom was that they we're linked somehow. So a recent report challenging this conventional wisdom is totally unexpected.

While breast-feeding has many benefits, it won't prevent a child from becoming fat as an adult, says a new study that challenges dogma from U.S. health officials.

The research is the largest study to date on breast-feeding and its effect on adult obesity.

"I'm the first to say breast-feeding is good. But I don't think it's the solution to reducing childhood or adult obesity," said the study's lead author, Karin Michels of Harvard Medical School.

More here. Related in only a dirty-old-man kind of way is news that Jaime Pressly's breasts are ballooning from her pregnancy. She says, "When my milk comes in, I'm going to be able to feed a small village." I'll be the first in line. More on that story here.

Korean Automakers Don't Know Marketing 101

Sex sells. I know because I buy it. So I'm not sure what the South Koreans are smoking.

South Korean carmakers plan to cut down on the number of scantily clad models at the Seoul Motor Show hoping people will look at the cars instead.

The show, which starts in April, usually attracts thousands of camera-wielding men snapping pictures of young women models in revealing costumes whose images quickly make their way to Web sites in the world's most-wired country.

"We would rather have the spectators' attention on our cars than the attractive ladies," said Hyundai Motor Company spokesman Jake Jang.

Uh, ok. Have fun trying to sell your cars to the three people who show up.

I Would Like to Taste Her Pudding

Scarlett Johansson has been crowned the Harvard Hasty Pudding woman of the year. Leave your pudding jokes in the comment sections.

DCers: Express Your Love for Sex Workers on Valentine's Day

Hate Valentine's Day and live in the DC area? Come to this:

Sex Workers’ Art Show Tour 2007
Feb. 14th
Rock and Roll Hotel
1353 H St, NE
8pm ~ $15

The Sex Workers' Art Show Tour is coming to DC! The show is an eye-popping evening of visual and performance art created by people who work in the sex industry to dispel the myth that they are anything short of artists, innovators, and geniuses! This year's incredible lineup of performers includes international burlesque sensation Miss Dirty Martini; acclaimed Whitney Biennial artist Julie Atlas Muz; award-winning author of How I Learned to Snap Kirk Read; stripper historian and activist Jo Weldon; author of Happy Baby Stephen Elliott; member of the internationally renowned Japanese performance collective Dumb Type, Cono Snatch Zubobinskaya; enigmatic operatic musician and performer Reginald Lamar; feminist smut purveyor and queer film starAmber Dawn; and tour founder and ringmaster Annie Oakley.

Proceeds will benefit HIPS. More here.

Boobies in The Workplace

I rarely find myself in a position of opposing work-place breast exposure. It's traditionally one of my stalwart positions. Yes on breasts. But this attitude that the US workplace trails behind the rest of the world in regards to taking care of employee family concerns is scary. Since when did the right to breast feed at work become a right? Or better yet, since when did bringing your kid to work become a right?

The United States lags far behind virtually all wealthy countries with regard to family-oriented workplace policies such as maternity leave, paid sick days and support for breast-feeding, a new study by Harvard and McGill University researchers says

Fortunate for the three TtP readers that have kids (or kids they know about) Washington and state capitals around the nation are hammering out the details on a plan that would fix low unemployment and impressive economic growth.

The Labor Department is examining regulations that give workers unpaid leave to deal with family or medical emergencies — a review that supporters of the rules worry might be a prelude to scaling back these protections, as requested by some business groups. Comments to the agency on the 1993 Family and Medical Leave Act — which grants eligible workers up to a total of 12 weeks of unpaid leave a year — are due by Friday.

At the same time, Sen. Chris Dodd, D-Conn., plans to announce Thursday that he will propose new legislation that would enable workers to take six weeks of paid family leave. Congress also is expected to reconsider the Healthy Families Act, a bill introduced last session that would require employers with at least 15 employees to provide seven paid sick days per year.

Full article here. Related good news on our economy here. And yes, the only non-drug subjects I blog on are the ones that greet me when I open internet explorer. Deal with it. See anyone else around here today?

Putting Leeches on Strippers' Breasts is My New Thing

I'm SLOMming, are you SLOMing? The latest stupid anti-drug ad below. It's from the drug czar's office. And no, it's not a joke.

Ban Piercings! And Also Maybe Breasts!

An 18 year old diabetic girl who had "[H]er breasts pierced for her 18th birthday" (wait - her breasts? We mean nipples, right? RIGHT?) had her left breast surgically removed last week.

While the piercing didn't cause the necrotizing fasciitis infection in and of itself, it provided an entry point for the bacteria. The girl's status as a diabetic contributed to her suceptibility to infection.

This is only the third documented case of boob gangrene in the world.

$20 says the fine people of Crawfordsville, Indiana are calling for restrictions on the piercing industry by next week. Sure, the girl was 18. Sure, she knew the general risks and her individual risk as a diabetic before she signed on for the procedure. BUT PLEASE. SOMEONE SAVE US FROM OURSELVES. I'm taking over/unders for those of you who think it'll be the mom spearheading things.

Florida Court Protects Women's Right to Protest Law Against Toplessness While Topless

From Florida, a victory for women and the men who love their breasts.

A woman, who was arrested when she exposed her breasts to protest laws that bar women from publicly going bare breasted, can demonstrate topless as part of a legitimate political protest, an appeals court has ruled.

More, and grainy, blurred-out images of biker chicks here.

The Volokh Conspiracy considered the "yucky" elements of public nudity here.

Abolish Price Controls (on Touching Boobies)

Oh, you crazy Finns. I was wondering how far socialists would take their anti-price-gouging lunacy.

A fee of 25,500 euros ($32,000) is way too much for a woman to charge a man for fondling her bosom, a Finnish district court ruled.

The court jailed a couple in their twenties for more than a year for charging a 74-year-old who suffers from dementia a total of 25,500 euros to enjoy the woman's breasts on 10 occasions.

"Based on general life experience alone, it is indisputably clear that a 25,500 euro charge is disproportionate to the compensation in question," Judge Hasse Hakki, who heard the case, told Reuters Friday.

But he said the court in Kokkola, about 300 miles north of Helsinki, would not decide "the proper financial value of the compensation."

The retiree filed charges against the couple, who were convicted of extortionate overcharging, even though he told the court he paid the price willingly at the time.

$32,000 does sound like a lot just to touch some boobies. Although I guess it depends on the boobs. I would probably pay that much to touch the right kind of breasts. They would have to be spectacular. And come with a free car.

4,000 year history of price controls here. Playboy's guide to breasts here. Cooks.com recipes using chicken breasts here.

Titty Tuesday

I know, I know. I should just move to Massachusetts and marry The Superficial already; but I don't want to be the guy that proves Santorum right (you know, if we allow men to marry other men, pretty soon people will want to marry their favorite blog, or if you're Davey Allday, a bottle of campari.) It would be a crying shame, however, if I didn't alert our readers to the following breastalicious posts.

1) First, someone who is clearly doing the lord's work snapped a picture of Victoria Beckham's right nipple as it slipped out of her top. Post and PG pics here. Uncensored nipply nipple here (NSFW). And she's with some creepy doesn't-know-he's-gay guy, who looks like Jim Dangle from Reno 911. Yeah, I would like to Reno her 911. Or stalk her until she calls 911. Or take her to Reno and crash my plane into her twin towers (what, too soon?). By the way, Jim Dangle's weapon of choice: "Preparedness is the most effective weapon...unless the guy has a bike chain."

2) Two, Scarlett Johansson loves her boobies. And so do you, admit it. Admit it! Judging by the size of her glasses, she must be blind as a bat. Which means I have a shot at her. At least until I open my mouth. No, she doesn't have bat-like hearing. I just say what's on my mind. And what's on my mind right now is that I would like to move to Massachusetts and marry her breasts. Not her, just her breasts. And if we get a divorce I want half of them. You know, for my collection of celebrity breasts. It's not as creepy as it sounds. It's creepier.

'No' Means Yes (To Breasts)

Bon vivant Philip Dawdy has a great column up in the Seattle Weekly on a referendum challening the city's arcane strip-club rules.

The Planning Commission's argument may not have gone over well in quasi-suburban West Seattle and Phinney Ridge, but in neighborhoods like Capitol Hill, the reaction has been more like "bring 'em on." That can happen only if Referendum 1 succeeds. In this case, a "Yes" vote means you like Nickels' nanny-state rules; while "No" means you're happy with the relatively tame status quo. Killian points to polling his strip-club funded group, Seattle Citizens for Free Speech, has done, which shows that 72 percent of Seattleites are fine with the idea of strip clubs operating within the city limits (the poll doesn't get into how stringent a set of rules strip clubs should adhere to).

My friend's parents just moved in to one of the plum downtown towers Dawdy refers to in his piece, and so I find his most enduring point to be that strip clubs don't wreck the area around them, as critics often claim. Learn why here.

I'd previously noted the idiocy of Seattle's titty-bar regulations here.

BIG BREASTS

Now that I have your attention, let's talk about big breasts. It's been many weeks since I last posted a Hump Day Lunchtime Threesome. My apologies. I've been super busy. It's hard out here for a pimp right now. I hope to return to that deliciousness next week. Until then, here are two stories from The Superficial.

First, Victoria Beckham is so poor she can't even afford buttons for her shirt and is forced to walk around London exposing her bra. Damn you, poverty! I'm launching a fundraising drive for her, although it's not so much a fundraising drive as a long night of masturbation to these pictures.

Second, Pamela Anderson participated in a protest against fur by stripping down in the window of Stella McCartney's London boutique. I would do a Google search to see if breast implants contain gelatin or other animal parts, but I'm too busy looking at a scantily shielded profile of her breasts. God, they're big. You could fit a couple of midgets in those things. Not full-size midgets, of course; but midget midgets. You know, the ones that are much shorter than other midgets. Can you imagine a midget living inside one of Pamela Anderson's breasts? Think that's stupid? Well, you know who didn't think it was stupid? Fox Television. They bought my script, and the series comes out next year.

China Debates Lactating Breasts for Hire

Echoing a debate raging (OK, not exactly raging) here in the U.S., the Chinese media (and, by association, the Chinese government) is considering whether selling one's breast milk is ethical.

[T]the right of a woman to sell her breast milk, an occupation in China, that like the West, disappeared decades ago, has sparked heated debate, the Beijing News said.

Yue Jiangmei, a 22-year-old mother from China's northern Hebei province, left her baby with a relative to work in Wenzhou, a city in the booming eastern province of Zhejiang, the Beijing News said.

"My daughter was 7 months old and able to be nourished with baby food and milk powder," the paper quoted Yue as saying.

She responded to an advertisement offering five times her salary, or about 4,000 yuan ($500) a month, to work as a wet nurse for a Wenzhou family.

Supply. A willing seller. Demand. A willing buyer. That's all I need to know.