Finally, an Anarcho-Capitalist Solution to the Problem of People Letting Their Dogs Poop Everywhere

Just like government-run health care and education, socialized justice is often expensive and of poor quality, and allocation of scarce resources is determined by politics and who has access to power. In a total free market you could hire your own protection agency or take matters into your own hand. I've always found the "street justice" part of anarcho-capitalism, or at least Murray Rothbard's articulation of it, to be rather scary. I'm not comforted by the fact that two brothers who beat me to death because they mistakenly think I raped and killed their sister will be sentenced to death if a jury concludes (after the fact) that they killed the wrong guy. On the other hand, there are many crimes that government police agencies won't prosecute - such as fecal terrorism, whereby dog owners let their dogs poop in other people's lawns. Fecal terrorism is gross and I would love the freedom to be able to rub the dog owner's face in it. Or I could take a more passive-aggressive approach, like kidnapping my neighbor's Jesus statue and holding it hostage until she starts curbing her dogs. See the news story below.



I say problem solved. I'm starting to like street justice.

Bye Bye Cato

I've been concerned for some time that the Cato Institute is not just diluting libertarian positions but advocating unlibertarian ones. Roger Pilon's grotesquely unlibertarian op-ed in the Wall Street Journal in support of unchecked executive power, unlimited spying on U.S. citizens, and retroactive liability immunity for phone companies who violate the privacy of their customers is the last straw. I don't want to be accused of taking anything out of context, so read the whole thing here. My $100-a-year support for Cato ceases here. I urge others to stop giving. With friends of liberty like this who needs enemies? Seriously.


My (long) take on why the President has no more power than a manager at McDonald's here.

Knee Deep in Crack

Just when I'm so sick of living in DC that I can't stand it anymore someone takes pictures of a man fucking another man for crack in a DC alley and writes a funny blog post about. Check it out. God, I love this city.

Master of His Domain

This guy rocks.

LONDON (Reuters) - A farmer built an entire mock castle behind a screen of hay bales and lived there concealed for four years to evade planning regulations, officials said on Friday -- but it may be torn down anyway.

Robert Fidler hopes to take advantage of a provision of planning law that allows buildings without planning permission to be declared legal if no objections have been made after four years.

But Reigate and Banstead Borough Council in Surrey is not impressed.

"It does not count because the property was hidden behind hay bales," said a spokeswoman. "No one knew it was there."

The council wants the building near Redhill some 30 km south of London to be demolished, along with an associated conservatory, marquee structure, wooden bridge, patio, decking and tarmac racecourse.

I hope he pours hot oil on the regulators trying to destroy his castle. Actually, I hope he pours hot oil on Playboy Bunnies and lets me wrestle around with them in his castle, but that's a different fantasy.

Liberal Biased Media vs. Bush

Look, I'm no fan of President Bush. But if this is what passes for good journalism at the Associated Press our country is in serious trouble.

A study by two nonprofit journalism organizations found that President Bush and top administration officials issued hundreds of false statements about the national security threat from Iraq in the two years following the 2001 terrorist attacks.

The study concluded that the statements "were part of an orchestrated campaign that effectively galvanized public opinion and, in the process, led the nation to war under decidedly false pretenses."

Sounds scary, right? The truth, however, is that the study didn't look at whether or not Bush and his people were telling lies. It only measured if the evidence they relied upon turned out to be wrong.

The study counted 935 false statements in the two-year period. It found that in speeches, briefings, interviews and other venues, Bush and administration officials stated unequivocally on at least 532 occasions that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction or was trying to produce or obtain them or had links to al-Qaida or both.

"It is now beyond dispute that Iraq did not possess any weapons of mass destruction or have meaningful ties to al-Qaida," according to Charles Lewis and Mark Reading-Smith of the Fund for Independence in Journalism staff members, writing an overview of the study. "In short, the Bush administration led the nation to war on the basis of erroneous information that it methodically propagated and that culminated in military action against Iraq on March 19, 2003."

There's a big difference between knowing Hussein didn't have weapons of mass destruction and believing that he did but turning out to be wrong. The first is an actual lie or false statement. The latter is a mistake. Given that the British, the French, the German and other intelligence agencies thought Hussein had or was close to having weapons of mass destruction I'm willing to give Bush the benefit of the doubt. Did he fuck up? Yes. Is he total douchebag? Yep. Did he lie his way into war? There's no evidence of that and the media should stop reporting this myth as fact.

Cato's David Boaz on the Ron Paul Newsletter

Strong words. And spot on.

Ron Paul on CNN

Just saw Ron Paul on CNN defending himself against the newsletter charges. He was strong on proving he's not a racist and spent a lot of time attacking the drug war. But he was very weak on how he didn't know this stuff was going out under his name. He even said that he doesn't have any idea who wrote the articles and couldn't find out if he tried. Give me a break! And not helping matters, he often referred to black people as "the blacks". As in "the blacks are voting for me more than any other Republican candidate." And (paraphrasing) "I'm trying to stop the blacks from being persecuted by our drug law". Memo to Ron Paul: Don't say things like "the blacks" when defending yourself against racism. Especially when the words "the blacks" are in almost every sentence of the very newsletter articles you say you didn't write. And please stop with this unbelievable nonsense about not knowing who could have possibly wrote those articles. It makes you sound like a liar.

Here's the story on CNN.com:

A series of newsletters in the name of GOP presidential hopeful Ron Paul contain several racist remarks -- including one that says order was restored to Los Angeles after the 1992 riots when blacks went "to pick up their welfare checks."
[...]
Paul spokesman Jesse Benton told CNN the material was not written by Paul, and that he finds them "abhorrent." CNN asked the presidential contender for a direct esponse. He is to appear on CNN's "The Situation Room" Thursday afternoon around 5 p.m. ET.

"I have publicly taken moral responsibility for not paying closer attention to what went out under my name," Paul said in a written statement.
[..]
Benton maintains that the GOP presidential candidate doesn't know who wrote any of the newsletters. Asked if Paul would try to find out, his spokesman said, "No, what's the point? ... It's time to move on."

Uh, ok. If the Paul campaign is not going to take this issue seriously, then why should voters take him seriously?

The Real Revolution

Ron Paul's long make-out sessions with the worst of the far right aside, here's a glimpse of who really supported his anti-tax, anti-war campaign in New Hampshire:

--13% of Independents vs 6% of Republicans.

--16% of Republicans/Independents who describe themselves as "liberal" vs 7% "moderate" and 6% "conservative".

--22% of Republicans/Independents who think abortion should be legal in most or all cases vs. 11% who think abortion should be illegal in most or all cases.

--24% of Republicans/Independents who support New Hampshire's civil unions law vs 14% who oppose it.

--13% of Republicans/Independents who think illegal immigrants shouldn't be kicked out of the country vs. 8% of those who think they should be deported.

All this suggests, I think, that Dave Weigel and others are right. The campaign wasted their TV ad budget on bashing immigrants instead of reaching out to liberals, moderates and libertarians. Although, I guess it's possible that the anti-immigration, anti-gay, pro-life vote turn-out for Paul would have been lower if it wasn't for his creepy immigrant-bashing ads. But I doubt it. Why didn't the campaign spend its ad money on anti-war-, anti-Patriot-Act and anti-tax ads instead of on anchor babies and student visas?

The Ron Paul Newsletters

I was up past 3am last night reading blog post after blog post and comment after comment about The New Republic's "hit piece" on Ron Paul. Reason. New Republic. Lew Rockwell. Think Progress. I've read them all. There seems to be two libertarian views: 1) The New Republic piece is an intellectually dishonest attempt by a pro-Giuliani writer to smear Ron Paul's name in the hopes of dooming his anti-war campaign. And 2) Ron Paul has a hell of a lot of explaining to do. These views are not mutually exclusive.

I think the author of the piece, James Kirchicks, is intellectually dishonest and definitely a douchebag. He quotes a lot of things out of context and makes quite a few entirely unsubstantiated innuendos. And lets face it, anyone who supports a presidential candidate who supports racial profiling at home and killing brown people abroad is in no position to be judging anyone on issues involving race.

The thrust of Kirchicks' piece, however, cannot be ignored. Ron Paul lent his name to a newsletter that for at least four years was full of racist and homophobic diatribes. Take for instance this witty piece from a 1990 newsletter (and by witty I mean shitty):

A mob of black demonstrator, led by the "Rev." Al Sharpton , occupied and closed the Statute of Liberty recently, demanding that New York be renamed Martin Luther King City "to reclaim it for our people."

Hmmmm. I hate to agree with the Rev. Al, but maybe a name change is in order. Welfaria? Zooville? Rapetown? Dirtburg? Lazyopolis?

But Al, the Statue of Liberty? Next time, hold that demonstration at a food stamp bureau or a crack house.

God. It's not even clever. How about at least Crookland. Or Stabbin' Island. You can read other such garbage here.

Now, Rep. Paul has said many times that he didn't write any of these offensive pieces and I believe him. I also believe him when he says he opposes the hateful sentiments expressed in the articles. But why did he lend out his name to the people who wrote them? And why did it take him so long to stop them from perpetuating such hate-filled messages?

Pauls' claims - years ago and now - that he didn't realize what was in the newsletters rings completely hollow. We're not just talking about a newsletter with the words "Ron Paul" in its name. The articles are written in first person as if he - not someone else - is speaking. And he has admitted to profiting from the letters. I don't think there's a single person alive who would profit from something being written in their name who wouldn't check to see what was being written.

I think it's more likely that Ron Paul knew what was in the newsletters and allowed them to be published anyway. Maybe he didn't see every article, but there's no way he didn't see any of them. So why would he allow these articles to happen? Perhaps because he realized there was money to be made selling such dribble. Even if just 5,000 nut-jobs were willing to pay $25 a year to read it, that's $125,000 a year in revenue. That money could not only fund a later foray into politics (the most offensive pieces were written after his unsuccessful run for president on the Libertarian Party ticket and before his successful run for Congress as a Republican) but also help maintain a database of potential funders he could solicit in future campaigns. (I'm not the only one suggesting a theory like this. At least one person in the know is too.)

Of course even if my conjecture is true, it doesn't make Ron Paul a racist. In fact, the evidence suggests he exploited racists - taking their money and using it to spread a message of peace and individual rights. Well, good for him. I guess. But neither him nor his supporters should be shocked that his association with these newsletters casts doubts on his moral integrity and ability to lead a movement. He profited from hate anyway you cut it.

Paul's die-hard loyalists say The New Republic piece is just re-hashing old news. That's true. But it's important news and I want to know more. I want to hear from Ron Paul's own mouth how all this happened. And it's not enough for him - or his loyalists - to say he has addressed this issue already. Because he hasn't addressed it for me. Or the tens of thousands of people fighting on the frontlines to boost his campaign and message. He has a responsibility to many to come totally clean.

Here are six simple questions I want answers for:

1) What exactly was his relationship to these newsletters?
2) If he didn't write these newsletters, then who did?
3) Why did he allow his name to be used by this person (or group of people)?
4) Did he read any of these newsletter before they went out? If not, why not?
5) At what point did the hate-filled messages cease? And why did they cease?
6) Did he profit substantially from these newsletters? And was that money and/or the mailing list built-up by the newsletters used to fund any of his free-market projects over the years, including running for Congress and President?

Finally, a disclaimer: I've contributed money to Ron Paul's campaign and hope the anti-state/anti-war Revolution he has sparked continues to grow.

Damn Revenuers

Today's Washington Post has a great article on the government's war on illegal whiskey brewers and their way of life.

Since Prohibition, southwestern Virginia has been a hub of moonshine production, along with North Carolina and a few other Southern States. The tradition extends to the English and Scotch-Irish colonists who settled western Virginia and made grain-based whiskey and the Germans who specialized in apple brandy. When Franklin County was formed in 1786, the first county court met in a house with a tavern.
[...]
"People try to portray us as country bumpkins, but we're proud of being rednecks, and we're proud of the craft of making liquor," said Linda Stanley, the fast-talking special projects coordinator for the Franklin County Historical Society. "Around here, people still talk about the War Between the States, they still talk about making apple butter and they still talk about moonshine."
[..]
Like other residents, Wilson said he loves moonshine because with no federal or state taxes, it's cheaper than some store-bought liquor, and the raw, firelike taste is distinctive. He also had kind words for Smith, saying that the government should leave him alone. "What's the big deal? It's just some people getting drunk," Wilson said.

Agents and experts in the liquor trade said that because it's unregulated, moonshine has been found to contain lead, pesticides and other dangerous substances. "I've seen cows basically go to the bathroom in a creek and then that same water be run through a still to make liquor," McEntire said.

Whiskey made with water a cow took a piss in? Sign me up! Seriously. As for those damn revenuers, get a life!

For All Our Fans Who Got to Us by Googling "Hot Monkey Sex"

Fred Thompson may not understand basic economics but monkeys do.

It turns out that one of humanity's oldest professions may be even older than we thought: In a recent study of macaque monkeys in Indonesia, researchers found that male primates "paid" for sexual access to females — and that the going rate for such access dwindled as the number of available females went up.

According to the paper, "Payment for Sex in a Macaque Mating Market," published in the December issue of Animal Behavior, males in a group of about 50 long-tailed macaques in Kalimantan Tengah, Indonesia, traded grooming services for sex with females; researchers, who studied the monkeys for some 20 months, found that males offered their payment up-front, as a kind of pre-sex ritual. It worked. After the females were groomed by male partners, female sexual activity more than doubled, from an average of 1.5 times an hour to 3.5 times. The study also showed that the number of minutes that males spent grooming hinged on the number of females available at the time: The better a male's odds of getting lucky, the less nit-picking time the females received. Though primates have been observed trading grooming for food sharing or infant care, this is the first time this kind of exchange has been observed between male and female primates in a sexual context, says lead researcher Michael Gumert of Singapore's Nanyang Technological University, demonstrating that the amount of time a male macaque "will invest in [its] partner" depends largely on how many options it has around.

This research suggests several things.

First, if grooming your date to get sex is prostitution than so is buying her dinner. Or for that matter listening to what she has to say. If I lived in Alaska I would probably hang on my date's every word. At least if she was watching me closely. If I thought she wasn't paying attention I would watch a cartoon monkey dance in my head while she talked. But I would at least pretend like I was paying attention. Because I live in DC, where single women are everywhere, I can happily tell women to fuck off and let me watch Family Guy.

Second, when law enforcement wastes taxpayer resources arresting prostitutes they're acting as a price support mechanism that keeps the price of hookers artificially high. Or in monkey math, more arrests = more grooming. Since corruption runs rampant in many law enforcement agencies, we should assume that police are trying to keep prices high for area pimps.

Third, here are pictures of Kelly Brook bathing topless. Not directly related, but I would love to groom her. NSFW BTW.

Ever Clever Mike Huckabee Knows What's Up

He's cribbing from Ron Paul's play sheet.

Speaking to a packed gymnasium Sunday, Mike Huckabee sounded off on how politicians in Washington, D.C. had spent beyond their public mandate. He then threw in a line about money printing that could have come out of Ron Paul’s mouth. “We sent them there to cut spending, and they didn’t do it. They’ve spent more money than has ever been spent. Guess where that money is coming from. Your pocket," Huckabee said. "Just remember this, when government says we’re giving you things, remember before the government can give you something, the government has to take it from you first. And the handling charge is extraordinary.” “We need to say no to government spending when it’s wrecking our grandchildren’s futures. Nine trilllion dollars worth of debt on your credit card that somebody transferred to the next several generations. That’s irresponsible. And what’s their answer? Spend more. Print more, spend more.”

My Kind of Soldier

This is outrageous.

A woman has been kicked out of army training because she has silicone breast implants. Alessija Dorfmann, 23, said: “I am devastated. It has always been my dream to be a soldier and have a great figure.

“Now my fake boobs have cost me my job.”

She has appealed against the ruling by top brass in Hamburg, Germany, who said implants increased risk of injury.

Fire Every Striking Hollywood Writer

I'm so sick of the Hollywood writers strike. For starters, we have people in this country doing back-breaking labor while these writers are striking for not getting paid enough to sit around in comfortable lounges, eating pizza and coming up with new ideas. As John Stossell would say, GIVE ME A BREAK! Secondly, it's not just that they don't want to work. It's that they're using the coercive power of the state to prevent others from working. That's terrorism. And given that we're talking about writing, the federal government is violating the First Amendment by forcing companies to negotiate with their union. A case in point:

Letterman, Leno, Conan O'Brien and Craig Ferguson all went back to work last night after being away for a while due to the writer's strike. Letterman and O'Brien came back with full beards which they will only shave off when the strike ends. All four dudes were also instructed by the WGA that they cannot write any material beforehand. They have to do everything off the cuff. Good luck Jay.

Excuse me? Dave Letterman is being barred from writing his own material? For a show he not only hosts but owns? Outrageous. It's time for everyone who likes watching TV to stand up to these Hollywood thugs. If you don't want to do your job, fine. But move out of the way so people who want to write can.

I Don't Give a Shit

A Harvard research scientist had an intriguing oped in the New York Times a few days ago in which he argues that the federal government is spending too much money on AIDS and not enough on other health problems.

Some have criticized Mr. Bush for requesting “only” $30 billion for the next five years for AIDS and related problems, with the leading Democratic candidates having pledged to commit at least $50 billion if they are elected. Yet even the current $15 billion in spending represents an unprecedented amount of money aimed mainly at a single disease.
[...]
Many millions of African children and adults die of malnutrition, pneumonia, motor vehicle accidents and other largely preventable, if not headline-grabbing, conditions. One-fifth of all global deaths from diarrhea occur in just three African countries — Congo, Ethiopia and Nigeria — that have relatively low H.I.V. prevalence. Yet this condition, which is not particularly difficult to cure or prevent, gets scant attention from the donors that invest nearly $1 billion annually on AIDS programs in those countries.

Via Jacob Sullum at Hit & Run.

Free at Last

In what could really catapult Ron Paul into the national spotlight (for either good or bad), his supporters are preparing another "money bomb" for January 21st - Martin Luther King Day. This is an interesting follow-up to the previous money bombs, Guy Fawkes Day and Boston Tea Party. For a lot of reasons, I can see how raising a lot of money on this day could provoke some controversy (his position on the Civil Right Act and the civil war, for instance). At every step controversy seems to push up his poll numbers though.

You can learn more and pledge money at www.FreeAtLast2008.com.

Showing ID to Vote

Today's Washington Post has a great article on a controversial case the Supreme Court will be deciding in the new year: is it unconstitutional for states to require people to show government-issued IDs to vote?

"It is exceedingly difficult to maneuver in today's America without a photo ID (try flying, or even entering a tall building such as the courthouse in which we sit, without one)," Circuit Judge Richard A. Posner, a Ronald Reagan appointee, wrote in deciding that Indiana's strictest-in-the-nation law is not burdensome enough to violate constitutional protections.

His colleague on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 7th Circuit, Bill Clinton appointee Terence T. Evans, was equally frank in dissent. "Let's not beat around the bush: The Indiana voter photo ID law is a not-too-thinly veiled attempt to discourage election-day turnout by certain folks believed to skew Democratic," Evans wrote.

While I generally am offended when asked to show an ID, the one exception is when I'm being asked to prove who I say I am. Not only do I think it's OK for states to require people to prove who they are when they're voting, I think every state should. Not because I'm worried about widespread voter fraud but because it's just commonsense. To those who worry that people without ID won't be able to vote I say, "so". It's not that hard to get an ID, and if you don't have one you're probably not that involved in your community anyway.

Of course, a radical libertarian might argue that people shouldn't be required to get government-issued IDs and/or you shouldn't have the burden of proving you are who you say you are. I think that makes sense in lots of instances, like a police encounter. But in instances where you're saying you're a specific person - someone registered to vote, someone who has an electronic ticket for a flight, someone who is claiming they're the person listed on a credit card - it makes sense to require people to prove who they are. What are people's thoughts on this issue?

Video: Ron Paul on NBC Meet the Press

Awesome, awesome, awesome.

Via LewRockwell.com.

Mile High Club

Just what I need to join the Mile High Club - by myself.

NEW YORK - Seat 17D is yapping endlessly on an Internet phone call. Seat 16F is flaming Seat 16D with expletive-laden chats. Seat 16E is too busy surfing porn sites to care. Seat 17C just wants to sleep.

Welcome to the promise of the Internet at 33,000 feet — and the questions of etiquette, openness and free speech that airlines and service providers will have to grapple with as they bring Internet access to the skies in the coming months.

Porn and the ability to call 1-900 numbers. Talk about a happy ending to every flight.

Right On

I read James Pinkerton's smear of Ron Paul in Newsday today. He claimed that Paul called Huckabee a fascist. By any objective viewing of Paul's Fox News appearance, however, Paul didn't. I was going to do a post on how Paul should have said outright that Huckabee is a fascist; but I didn't have the time. Fortunately, Lew Rockwell did.

what is fascism? It is a real ideology, not just an epithet. It is characterized by belligerent nationalism, militarism, aggressive war, suppression of civil liberties, use of religion in the service of the state, exaltation of the executive, opposition to free markets domestically and internationally, corporatism, welfarism, domestic spying, torture, and detestation of the Other, in this case Muslims and Arabs. So not only is Huckabee a fascist, so are most other candidates of both parties, and the entire Christian right

Right on.

The Case for Legalizing Same-sex Marriage Outlawing Heterosexual Marriage

I love it when people who oppose legalizing same-sex marriage say that letting gays marry would undermine the institution of marriage. If that's the standard than we should outlaw heterosexual marriage too.

It seems like only two months ago that Pamela Anderson was aglow with happiness over her quickie Las Vegas wedding to Rick Salomon. Actually, it was. But the 40-year-old ex-"Baywatch" beauty has filed for divorce from her 38-year-old husband after just two months of marriage.
[...]
Salomon is best known for making a sex videotape with Paris Hilton, his girlfriend at the time, and was previously married to actress Shannen Doherty. Anderson was previously married to singer Kid Rock and Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee.

Great scientific analysis of Pamela Anderson's breasts here. Slightly NSFW.

Prick of the Year

I hope a gang of drunk, slutty women and the men who love them beat the shit out of this guy.

NEW YORK - Men are not discriminated against by "ladies' nights" at Manhattan nightclubs, just as people in their 20s do not suffer because some restaurants let children eat for free or have "early bird" specials for older customers, according to nightclub lawyers fighting a federal lawsuit.

Roy Den Hollander has sued clubs including Lotus and the China Club, saying he was discriminated against by ladies' nights, which offer women free or discounted admission and drinks.

More on this buzz killer here. I would like to go on record - right here, right now - as saying that every night is ladies' night at my house. Women drink for free. Well, financially free at least. They may have emotional scars that will last for years.

Fox News Sticks it to Hillary Clinton

I love FoxNews.com because it has the greatest headlines. Like this totally obvious attempt to call Hillary a Nazi on their homepage.

The Leader Stumbles
Even before the first votes are cast, a series of campaign gaffes threaten Hillary's frontrunner status.

Nothing Says "Eat the Rich" Like Wearing Gucci

I'm increasingly hostile towards upper middle class, or outright rich, leftists who buy $5,000 sofas to put in their expensive houses while at the same time advocating tax increases to help the poor. How about instead of paying $1,200 for a stupid painting to put on your wall you give that money to the local homeless shelter and leave my paycheck alone? Or sell that $500 cellphone and send the money to Ethiopia. This guy, however, really, really pisses me off.

Venezuelan Interior Minister Pedro Carreno was momentarily at a loss for words when a journalist interrupted his speech and asked if it was not contradictory to criticize capitalism while wearing Gucci shoes and a tie made by Parisian luxury goods maker Louis Vuitton.

"I don't, uh ... I ... of course," stammered Carreno on Tuesday before regaining his composure. "It's not contradictory because I would like Venezuela to produce all this so I could buy stuff produced here instead of 95 percent of what we consume being imported."

The video clip (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDsdXkY4UlE) had been viewed more than 15,000 times on Thursday, a day after it was posted on the YouTube Web site.

And After the Spanking, the Oral Sex

Stephen King gives last interview before being shipped off to Guantanamo Bay.

So I said something to the Nightline guy about waterboarding, and if the Bush administration didn't think it was torture, they ought to do some personal investigation. Someone in the Bush family should actually be waterboarded so they could report on it to George. I said, I didn't think he would do it, but I suggested Jenna be waterboarded and then she could talk about whether or not she thought it was torture.

Story via LewRockwell.com.

Censored picture of Jenna Bush Jenna's bush here.

Suspected Skank Turns Out to be a Skank

Remember that hot 23-year-old college student who Southwest Airlines almost kicked off a flight for dressing too slutty? Well, now she's posing for Playboy. Jesus, Buddha, Allah, I love you all!

Kyla Ebbert appears in a series of pictures — some in lingerie, some nude — under the heading, "Legs in the Air."

"They're very tastefully done," Ebbert told The Associated Press on Thursday. "I don't see anything wrong with the female body."

Wow. We have so much in common.

Safe for work story here.

Yeah, Without Federal Regulations Companies Have No Incentives to Not Kill Their Customers

Nope, none at all. I'm sure McDonalds would be putting glass and tacks in their hamburgers if it wasn't for federal regulators.

Edward Markey has been waiting for decades to close what he might call a loop-de-“loophole” in roller-coaster regulation. The Massachusetts Democrat started down the track Thursday with a proposal to restore ’coaster regulatory powers to the Consumer Product Safety Commission.

"You put your kid on a ride that goes 80 mph, and you’re assuming there’s some regulation,” Markey said, citing “staggering” roller-coaster injury rates.

Republican Cliff Stearns of Florida played carny’s advocate. Injuries from fixed-site amusement rides rank just above harm by darts, he said. And, he noted, ’coaster numbers are way below basketball injuries — a point with special relevance for Markey, who was hurt playing basketball a few months ago.

“Following [Markey’s] line of reasoning, we would want to put federal regulators first and foremost in charge of basketball regulation . . . and work it on down to racquetball and fishing,” Stearns joked.

Markey ended up withdrawing his amendment in good humor, but he promised to come back for another ride when the full committee considers the bill.

Awesome.

Via Congressional Quarterly (sorry, subscription required).

When Humping Your Bicycle is Outlawed Only Outlaws Will Hump Bicycles

The biggest problem with sex offenders registries is that there are too many people on them who are not real sex offenders. A case in point:

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation... Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years...Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

So simulating sex with a bicycle in the privacy of your own hotel room makes you a sex offender? Bullshit. I suppose one could argue that the real offense was simulating sex in front of hotel staff, but can't people take a joke any more?

More here. Via The Agitator.

Childe Harold, R.I.P.

Sorry, I'm a few days late on this. But I wanted to give a shout out to the closing of my favorite DC restaurant. First, the real Stoney's. Now this. I'm going to drink myself into a stupor tonight. That has nothing to do with the Childe Harold closing. I just thought I would tell you my evening plans.

Before they became limousine famous, Emmylou Harris and Bruce Springsteen played in a litany of run-down, no-name joints, where small, unsuspecting audiences got that rare chance to see, hear and touch undiscovered genius.

In Washington, that joint was the Childe Harold, a cozy, wood-lined saloon in Dupont Circle, where, in its heyday, patrons filled every nook and cranny, the bathrooms reeked of marijuana and everyone talked for years after about whom they saw perform there.

The Immoral Religious Right

It's long been evident that given a choice between a candidate who opposes high taxes, the welfare state and the war in Iraq and a candiate who supports high taxes, the welfare state and the war in Iraq most Republicans would choose the latter. They simply care more about killing brown people than they do reducing the size of government. What is shocking is that so many so-called Christian conservatives put a higher value on killing foreigners than they do on banning abortion and stopping gay marriage.

Evangelical Christian leader Pat Robertson on Wednesday endorsed former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, who has struggled to bridge with conservatives some of his socially moderate policy positions on abortion and gay rights.
[..]
"The overriding issue before the American people, is the defense of our population against the bloodlust of Islamic terrorists," Robertson told the National Press Club audience. "Our world faces deadly peril...and we need a leader with a bold vision who is not afraid to tackle the challenges ahead."

Robertson said Giuliani is "a proven leader who is not afraid of what lies ahead and who will cast a hopeful vision for all Americans ... It is my hope and prayer that he will lead the Republican Party to victory in November of 2008."

I guess supporting abortion and civil unions is ok as long as you want to burn Muslims at the stake.

More here. Via Hit & Run.

All Laws are Stupid, But Some Laws are Stupider Than Others

The votes are in. The Top 10 most stupid British laws:

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27 percent)

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (four percent)

My personal favorites:

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (six percent)

6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants,
including in a policeman's helmet (four percent)

I'm totally seeking a pregnant clerk in a tropical fish store in Liverpool to date. Are you out there?

Off and On

Off my vacation destination list:

El Alto, Bolivia.

Prostitutes in the Bolivian city of El Alto sewed their lips together Wednesday as part of a hunger strike to demand that the mayor reopen brothels and bars ordered closed after violent protests by residents last week.

On my vacation destination list:

Western Australia.

CANBERRA (Reuters) - An Australian barmaid has been fined for crushing beer cans between her bare breasts while an off-duty colleague has been fined for hanging spoons from her friend's nipples, police said Wednesday.

Nice Guys Finish Last

Cannibals finish first.

MEXICO CITY - An aspiring writer who left a horror scene of body parts in his apartment was arraigned on Thursday on charges of murder and desecrating a corpse after he allegedly cut up and ate part of his girlfriend's body.

Jose Luis Calva — better known in tabloids as Mexico City's "cannibal" — refused to make a formal plea, saying "I can't get my thoughts together right now."

Police say he had previously acknowledged killing 32-year-old girlfriend Alejandra Galeana, and prosecutors believe he killed and dismembered two other girlfriends, but have not charged him for those crimes.

"He killed her because he was high on cocaine," said defense attorney Humberto Guerrero Plata. "He didn't eat her, he just cut her body up."

Wow. That's some defense attorney he has there. And some magical cocaine. I used to wonder why douchebags get all the ladies. But then I was like, I'm a douchebag so why should I care.

Finally, a Political Use for All Those Women's Underwear I Keep Stealing

Women in several countries have begun sending their panties to Myanmar embassies in a culturally insulting gesture of protest against the recent violent crackdown on pro-democracy protesters there, a campaign supporter said yesterday.

"It's an extremely strong message in Burmese and in all Southeast Asian culture," said Liz Hilton, who supports an activist group that launched the "Panties for Peace" drive this week.

Reason's Kerry Howley threatens to send her panties here.

U.S. House Votes to Make Some Animals More Equal than Others

By a vote of 398-21, the House voted to protect journalists and some bloggers from being forced to reveal confidential info on the witness stand--sort of.

You know my position on this. It's good to see that Katherine Mangu-Ward thinks the same way.

Foxnews.com Finally Tackling the Important Issues

Which State Will Legalize Sex with Robots First?

"My forecast is that around 2050, the state of Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize marriages with robots," artificial intelligence researcher David Levy at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands told LiveScience.
[...]
At first, sex with robots might be considered geeky, "but once you have a story like 'I had sex with a robot, and it was great!' appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I'd expect many people to jump on the bandwagon," Levy said.

[...]

In 2006, Henrik Christensen, founder of the European Robotics Research Network, predicted that people will be having sex with robots within five years, and Levy thinks that's quite likely.

There are companies that already sell realistic sex dolls, "and it's just a matter of adding some electronics to them to add some vibration," he said, or endowing the robots with a few audio responses. "That's fairly primitive in terms of robotics, but the technology is already there."

Is this a joke? No. In fact, there's 15 more paragraphs on the, uh, ins and outs of robot sex, man-and-robot marriages, and the ethical issues involved.

Smoke While You Still Can

Banning smoking in bars won't lead to full-scale tobacco prohibition. Nope. Sure won't. No reason to believe that. No slippery slope there.

California motorists will risk fines of up to $100 next year if they are caught smoking in cars with minors, making their state the third to protect children in vehicles from secondhand smoke.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger on Wednesday signed a bill that will make it an infraction to smoke in a vehicle if someone under age 18 is present. But the traffic stop would have to be made for another offense, such as speeding or an illegal turn, before the driver could be cited for smoking.

Ha ha. Remember when they said seat belt laws would only be enforced if drivers were pulled over for another reason? That lasted about a year and then states gave the police the authority to waste valuable time pulling people over for nothing more than not wearing a seat belt.

More on California's latest assault on freedom here. And I predict a ban on smoking in your own apartment or condo will be California law within a year.

"If he's a cheat at one thing, he'll cheat at anything"

A motto I live by*, and one reason why I think a politician's love life is the public's business.

MEXICO CITY — After a humiliating defeat in Mexico's presidential election last year, Roberto Madrazo appeared to be back on top: He'd won the men's age-55 category in the Sept. 30 Berlin marathon with a surprising time of 2:41:12. But Madrazo couldn't leave his reputation for shady dealings in the dust. Race officials said Monday they disqualified him for apparently taking a short cut — an electronic tracking chip indicates he skipped two checkpoints in the race and would have needed superhuman speed to achieve his win.

More here.

* and by live by, I mean I cheat at everything. I once cheated while playing Chutes & Ladders with my niece. And not just once. Three times in a row. Don't judge me. I did it out of love. Love of winning.

Time to Bring Some Justice to the U.S. Justice Department.

I'm pretty sure if the U.S. government ever catches and kills Osama bin Laden it will just make him a martyr and make Al Qada stronger. But what if instead of killing him, U.S. agents slammed a paper plate of whipped cream to his face and ran away? That kind of humiliation would make him lose street cred. And that's the kind of justice I hope Michael Mukasey brings to the U.S. Justice Department. Watch out Osama. You too crooked members of Congress.

Michael Mukasey’s questionnaire answers, prepared for his upcoming confirmation hearing for his attorney general appointment, are about what you’d expect from a prospective top administration official. Educated by the Ivies, gave some speeches, won some awards … we almost fell asleep before we got to the good part, buried in the list of organizations with which he has been affiliated: the Senior Society of Sachems, an exclusive club at his alma mater, Columbia University.
[...]
The bloggers at the university’s student magazine offer one taste of the Sachems’ quirky and hush-hush initiation process: “A few years ago, a junior found a costumed FedEx employee on her doorstep; the package contained a cell phone which immediately began ringing,” they wrote. “After following the directions of the mysterious voice, she was officially welcomed into the society with a paper plate of whipped cream to the face.”

More here. (2nd story down)

Now That's What I Call Private Policing

If David Friedman and Jacob Sullum opened a bar together, this would probably be their solution to binge drinking and drunken rowdiness.

Some Pennsylvania bars are demanding customers' credit-card numbers and charging them if they vomit or otherwise damage property while drinking, Washington Square News reported Sept. 25.

Groups of six or more patrons at El Azteca restaurant and bar near Pennsylvania University, for example, are required to sign a contract that includes a credit-card number as insurance against damages by drunk patrons. If any member of the party vomits on the premises, for instance, all members of the group are hit with a $50 charge.

In other vomit news, doctors in Australia are urging their patients to vomit in government-run hospitals to get quick attention to their needs, the vomit-stained corpse of a 500-year-old "Llullaillaco Boy" shows that parents had a more libertarian view of child drug use in the good old days of death marches, and a woman too stupid to avoid slipping on a puddle of vomit in Wal-Mart provides a lot of ammo to those seeking tort reform.

The Future Ex-Mrs.Cicero

Stripping for Ron Paul.

Headline of the Week

"Man Hides Sex Toys in the Wurst Way"

Staff at a German butcher's shop were shocked to discover a customer had hidden two sex toys in their sausages for transport to Dubai, police said Wednesday.

"It was two latex dildos with a natural look," said a spokesman for police in the southwestern city of Mannheim.

After shopping there earlier in the day, the man, who spoke broken English, returned to the butcher's with two large "Schwartenmagen" sausages. He asked a shop assistant to wrap and cool them until he departed for Dubai the next day.

But the assistant noticed the goods had got heavier and alerted police. Officers discovered the man, who was about 50, had removed some of the meat and packed the dildos inside.

"He could have used a loaf of bread," the spokesman said. "It's not against the law here. But obviously I can't speculate on what customs in Dubai will have to say about it."

Now, I know what you're thinking. You sure would like to insert a dildo wrapped in sausage into Alicia Silverstone and then eat it. That's naughty for two reasons.

The Difference Between Us and Them

Libertarians: We want to forcibly strip and shave tax collectors.

Socialists: They want to forcibly strip and shave people who advertise.

BEIJING (Reuters) - Security guards in a southern Chinese city stripped and shaved the head of a man they found illegally posting advertisements on walls to earn a bit of money, a domestic newspaper reported Tuesday.
[...]
The men, who traveled on scooters and identified themselves as "city inspectors," also beat Liu and forced him to get down on his knees so they could shave his hair in punishment, the newspaper added.
[...]
Clashes are common between members of the public and the inspectors, who are mainly responsible for cracking down on unlicensed hawkers suspected of selling unsanitary food or fake goods to "maintain social order." In June, hundreds of students in Henan fought with police after street inspectors beat up a female student.

More here.

It Begins

You all thought I was crazy to cash in my retirement account to buy a diamond-encrusted underground bunker. Sure I could only afford one diamond but I'll be getting the last laugh when an alien virus destroys all of mankind, except me and Scarlett Johansson who will survive in my bunker. Scarlett, if you're reading this you're running out of time to respond to my letters and e-mails asking you to live in my underground bunker. Gratuitous pictures of the Earth's next "Eve" here.

LIMA (AFP) - Villagers in southern Peru were struck by a mysterious illness after a meteorite made a fiery crash to Earth in their area, regional authorities said Monday.
[...]
Seven policemen who went to check on the reports also became ill and had to be given oxygen before being hospitalized, Lopez said.

Rescue teams and experts were dispatched to the scene, where the meteorite left a 100-foot-wide (30-meter-wide) and 20-foot-deep (six-meter-deep) crater, said local official Marco Limache.

"Boiling water started coming out of the crater and particles of rock and cinders were found nearby. Residents are very concerned," he said.

The Most Important Relationship Conversation

Last week's Onion has one of their best articles in a while. It's on the most important and difficult conversation in a relationship - that one where you try to reveal all the sick stuff you would like to do in the bedroom without sending your partner running. I have yet to find a good way to say I want to have sex on a boat while watching the movie JAWS with me dressed as a shark and her dressed like Quint saying "This shark, swallow you whole" over and over again.

Death to the corporate, The yuppie scum cloud up the earth, Shine people shine, And never abandon your turf

Tired of all the douchebags in DC? Join the fabulous Anti Yuppie Kickball Guerrilla Front. Burst those kickballs on The Mall. Make those Young Professionals cry. But most importantly, have fun.

Special thanks to Davey Allday, Resistor Drinker Extraordinaire.

Man of the Year

Thank you Jim McBride. And thank your mother too. Your proof that any kid with a love for boobies can become famous if he just applies himself. You truly are doing the lord's work.

Jim McBride has made it his life's work to know how much naked female flesh appears in movies -- an obsession apparently shared by millions of people.

So far McBride, a.k.a. Mr. Skin, and a staff that includes his mother, who works as a "skintern," have chronicled nude women in more than 25,000 movies and television shows.

It is all recorded on his Web site, www.mrskin.com, which has been running for eight years, and on Saturday McBride launched into print, publishing "Mr. Skin's Skintastic Video Guide" to "the 501 greatest movies for sex and nudity on DVD."

"It's the greatest job in the world," said McBride. "As a kid I used to tape as many movies as I could with nudity and then I'd save the nude scenes on separate tapes. I really amazed my friends with my nudity knowledge growing up."

[...]

"We have eight to 10 people who just go through movies and television shows... for nudity, female nudity only," he said. "We don't do male nudity. I think it's mainly because this job is so fun I didn't want to make it work."

He said his Web site, which had a 35 percent boost to nearly 7 million hits a month after it featured in this year's hit movie "Knocked Up," was a celebration of female nudity that only chronicles mainstream movies, not pornography.

Why Suzy Shuster Should Have Her Vagina Slashed

Over at The Huffington Post, Suzy Shuster has a long but interesting post in support of legislation in California that would require pet owners to spray or neuter their cats and dogs or face fines. She even gets a few zings in at people like me.

There are people who feel neutering a male dog is akin to defacing it, and some male owners just seem to have some strange and pathetic testicular infatuation with their dog's manhood -- or as I like to call it, Ball Infatuation. To those I say, "Gentlemen, measure your own worth by your own, well, you know, not your dog's."

I've blogged before about the hypocrisy in the animal rights movement and its relations to the socialist thinking that dominates it (i.e., it's wrong for humans to hurt animals for our own benefit, but OK to hurt them if it's "for their own good", with their own good being decided by humans - white, liberal, over-educated humans at that). I won't belabor this point. I'm sure you want me to shut up already and get back to linking to pictures of women with nice racks. For the record, I don't think animals have any rights. So neuter your dogs if you want. And pit them against each other in a dog fight if you like. Just don't say there's a difference between the two. And oh yeah, pictures of Ice-T's wife's gigantic breasts here.

Post Office Issues Pro-Slavery Stamp

I have to hand it to the U.S. Postal Service for its clever roll-out of its new stamp celebrating compulsory jury servitude. Their "serve on a jury, get laid" campaign motto is brilliant.

The U.S. Postal Service's choice yesterday of James and Maxine Moore, of Northeast, to present its new 41-cent stamp hailing jury duty was a "lovely" idea.

Besides fulfilling their civic duty while serving on a jury in 1990, the Moores met, fell in love and dated for six years before marrying.

The roll-out in New York City was even better, featuring Mariah Carey showing off her cleavage. Pictures here. Totally unrelated pictures of Kim Kardashian's rack here. Murry Rothbard's comparison of jury duty to slavery here.

Sticking It to O.J. Simpson (Unfortunately Just Figuratively)

I think this is unethical, but considering the "victim" I'm all for it.

The book ["If I Did It"] -- in which [O.J.] Simpson wrote of how he might have killed Nicole Brown, his ex-wife, and Ron Goldman the night of June 12, 1994 -- prompted so much negative reaction that the original publisher, Judith Regan, was fired and hundreds of thousands of copies pulped.

[Goldman's father, Fred Goldman] then gained rights to the book under terms of the 1997 civil court judgment that held Simpson responsible for the murders, and arranged for it to be published again.

He hasn't changed a word of the text or the title. But, in a stinging bit of irony, he has reduced the size of the word "If" to the level of the microscopic. With the subtitle, the cover now appears to read: "I Did It: Confessions of the Killer." Goldman also added an introduction, prologue and afterword, by himself and others, that recasts Simpson's book as both an indictment and a confession by the man himself. The book will be in stores by this weekend, and more than 100,000 copies have already been ordered, according to Goldman's literary agent. The profits will go toward settling a minuscule fraction of the $38 million Simpson owes both Goldman's family and Nicole Brown's estate, which is devoted entirely to the two children she had with
Simpson.

The Washington Post's long and captivating story here. I'm curious about people's thoughts on this. Yeah, it's good to, uh, stick it to O.J., but there is something unsettling about taking another person's work and distorting it while keeping the original author's name on it.

Sicko Parents + Bizarre Biblical Tradition = Rob's Dream Come True

Looking to abide by the Bible and/or have sex with a minor? Buy a girl on MarryOurDaughter.com, an introduction service assisting those following the Biblical tradition of arranging marriages for their daughters. For just 5% of what you're asking for your daughter they'll put a picture of her up. Ages range from 13 to 17. Prices from $6,000 to $100,000. Sick. Just plain sick. Is this site a joke? Maybe. But nothing surprises me anymore. Except that time I got home and found a midget clown masturbating on my couch. That surprised me. I didn't, uh, see that coming.

Hat tip to my friend, who wishes not to be named, who is waiting for the Jewish version to go online. Although she is way too old to be selling herself into marriage. Zing!

The Crusade against the Jihad

I can't remember the exact date that Muslim terrorists flew planes into the World Trade Center and Pentagon in 2001 - who can? - but I know it was some time in September. Maybe it happened on 9/10 or 9/12 because today's Washington Post has two great op-eds on the state of the war on terror. Thomas Kean and Lee Hamilton, the former chairman and vice chairman of the - oh I guess it happened on 9/11 - 9/11 commission, write about how far away Congress and the President are from implementing the kind of policies that would prevent another terrorist attack.

Progress at home -- in our ability to detect, prevent and respond to terrorist attacks -- has been difficult, incomplete and slow, but it has been real. Outside our borders, however, the threat of failure looms. We face a rising tide of radicalization and rage in the Muslim world -- a trend to which our own actions have contributed. The enduring threat is not Osama bin Laden but young Muslims with no jobs and no hope, who are angry with their own governments and increasingly see the United States as an enemy of Islam.

They go on to recommend closing Guantanamo, finding a solution to Iraq (they stop short of directly saying the U.S. should get out, but it's implied), and taking strong steps to protect civil liberties.

Meanwhile Bruce Hoffman, a professor of securities studies at Georgetown, tells a compelling story of how al-Qaeda went from near extinction after the invasion of Afghanistan to becoming stronger than ever (hint: Iraq has distracted U.S. counterterror resources and given terrorist's their biggest recruiting tool ever).

Boycott Southwest Airlines Until They Rescind Their Anti-Skank Policy

I'm not one to boycott things, except sobriety and chastity, but I definitely won't be flying Southwest anytime soon. It seems wearing an outfit like the one in the picture to the right is enough to get Southwest flight attendants to try to bar you from flying. Frightening. Not in a scary movie kind of way. In a "how will I ever rub one off in the airplane bathroom" kind of way.

Southwest Airlines stands behind a flight attendant's decision to confront a passenger about her "revealing" clothing for wearing a white denim miniskirt, high-heel sandals and a sweater over a tank top.

[...]

[The skank] said a male flight attendant approached her two months ago after she had taken her seat and asked her to change her outfit, according to a report.

"I asked him what part of my outfit was offensive," Ebbert told the San Diego Union-Tribune. "The shirt? The skirt? And he said, 'The whole thing.'"
[...]
The airline asked Ebbert to go home, change her clothes and return for a later flight, but she refused, according to the report. Despite the back-and-forth, the airline relented.

That male flight attendant is obviously gay. I say obviously not because he told a woman to cover herself up, but because he's a flight attendant.

Full story here.

Seperation of Church and State

Teaching creationism in government-run schools is at the top of a slippery slope. Here is what's at the bottom:

Officials at Nepal's state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft, the carrier said Tuesday.

Couldn't happen in America? Think again.

In late June, Gov. Bob Riley issued a proclamation urging Alabamians to embark on a seven-day, intense prayer campaign for rain. During that week, portions of the state got some of the heaviest rains they'd seen in months.

While in Huntsville Thursday, Riley was asked if he plans to initiate a prayer crusade again.

"I think most people who walk outside see the necessity of prayer," said Riley, who added that Huntsville felt 10 degrees hotter than Montgomery. "I don't think they have to be reminded."

When asked if he was offering daily prayers for rain on his state, he said, absolutely."

It's Hard Out There for a Republican

Ohio Congressman Paul Gillmor (R) was found dead in his apartment today. There was no immediate word on the cause of his death. I suspect he died of embarrassment. If I was a Republican witnessing the implosion of my party I would probably drop dead too.

More here.

Colorado School Bans Being a Kid

Now I've heard everything.

An elementary school has banned tag on its playground after some children complained they were harassed or chased against their will.

"It causes a lot of conflict on the playground," said Cindy Fesgen, assistant principal of the Discovery Canyon Campus school.

Running games are still allowed as long as students don't chase each other, she said.

Wow. Good thing the kids didn't complain about having to take tests or the school would ban that too. If kids can't practice tag they will fail miserably at the much more important schoolyard game, hide-and-go-get-it.

More on anti-American, tag-haters here.

You Craiging?

Thanks, Sen. Larry Craig. I've been thinking for a while about the need for a neat little word to describe someone who publicly engages in very homophobic behavior while secretly engaging in very homosexual behavior. A lot has been written on his toe-tapping misadventures already, so I'm enjoying all the new, uh, twists. Like this:

[Matt Foreman, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force] did express some empathy with Craig in regard to the reaction of his GOP Senate colleagues. They have called for an ethics committee review of his case, which they did not do in response to revelations that Sen. David Vitter, R-La., was on the contact list of a Washington-area escort service.

"The double standard is shocking," Foreman said. "We'll throw the closet queer under the bus, but if you see a female prostitute, that's just fine."

Dick Cheney Was Right

MoveOn.org has dug up a great video clip from 1994 of Dick Cheney explaining why overthrowing Saddam Hussein would be a disaster for both Iraq and the United States.

Hat tip to TtP reader Davey Allday.

CommunistHall.com

In response to Jacob Sullum's reasonable column on Townhall.com in opposition to the executive branch's unchecked, warrantless spying on U.S. citizens, the readers of Townhall.com show precisely why liberty-minded people should stop voting Republican. Conservatives would give up every last right in the Bill of Rights if it had even the slightest chance of leading to the arrest and/or death of a foreigner somewhere. Jacob has a good sampling of responses over at Hit & Run. Here are a few of my favs:

Every post you make shows your total ignorance of the situation at hand...we are under attack you friggin moron...b*llless Sallys' like you are the real reason these towelheaded embeciles think we are weak...grow a pair and get out and defend yourself before its too late. And as a side note, drooler, it will be people like me who will defend you and the other morons when the time comes so dont disparage us true Americans too much...have a nice day at the methedone clinic.
****
Pleeeeese! 9/11 changed our world forever. When I as a 67 year old grandmother must remove my shoes, and allow complete search of all my possessions and my body in order to fly in a plane, (this inside my own country!) it has all changed.At this point, since I have nothing to hide, I'd prefer everyone was treated with the same scrutiny. In that way, maybe, just maybe, they'll ferret out the scum intent on harming all of us. My phone calls have nothing to hide, and I fear not if anyone needs to listen in.
***
To the author: We are in a war. A war in which many of the enemy combatants reside overseas but have compatriots stationed here in America. They talk in order to plan to KILL US. Not chatting with their mommas, you boob. Do you not think that FDR and his administration listened in to phone calls during their prosecution of WWII? Of course they did. Did Lincoln's minions not read the mail of Southerners in the North? Yes, they did. In today's tech world, communications are instantaneous and the good guys (our guys, pal!)must have the ability to act and listen when the intel says so, not when some judge gets around to letting them. Wake up! This is a war, not some law class in some ivory tower. If we miss some crucial conversation, it could lead to the death of thousands of real actual people. Until this war is settled, your supposed 'privacy' be damned, sir.

With Americans like this who needs enemies. What's next? "FDR put American citizens in concentration camps, so why shouldn't we? If you have nothing to hide, why would you be against concentration camps?"

When Unpastuerized Milk is Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Unpastuerized Milk

When people want the white stuff, someone somewhere will find a way of getting it to them. No, not cocaine. Unpastuerized milk.

Look Who's Talking

Turn that finger around...

President Bush today called on the Iranian people to reject their hard-line government, saying they "can do better" and need not be isolated by a leadership that destabilizes its neighbors and pursues a suspected nuclear weapons program.

Be Afraid

Reason's Julian Sanchez gives the 411 on the Democrats' recent 9-11-panic-induced capitulation to King George on monitoring our phone calls. Scary stuff, but an entertaining read. He should get some sort of he-good-with-words award for this line:

Suddenly it became urgent that Congress "modernize" what was invariably described as "the 1978 FISA statute," conjuring images of forlorn agents in white polyester leisure suits vainly hunting for al-Qaeda terrorists hidden under Pet Rocks.

Your Tax Dollars Used to Find Startling Information: Old Farts Like to Drink Beer Not Take Shots

I don't know which is sadder that my tax money went to these studies or that the media considers them news.

Binge drinkers are more likely to have a beer can in hand than a shot glass, new research shows.

Unless you're talking about teens. They prefer the hard stuff.

The stereotype-shattering findings are reported in two studies by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. [Editor's note: Stereotype-shattering? Uh, where have these reporters been?]

Access may play a major role in the choices of the two age groups, experts suggested.

For adults, beer is cheaper and easy to find, sold in gas stations and grocery stores. However, for teens, it may be easier to filch free booze from their parents' liquor cupboards, one of the researchers said. [editors note: if adults buy beer instead of liquor, wouldn't their liquor cupboards be empty? Or full of beer?]

Binge drinking — no matter which type of alcohol — is bad for your health. Excessive alcohol is acutely dangerous because of its role in car crashes, violence and other traumatic injury, and is blamed for 75,000 deaths annually. [Editor's note: Uh, shouldn't you say doing stupid shit like driving drunk and getting into fights with men twice is your size is bad for your health, not drinking per se?]

More here. If you're wondering I'm a binge drinker. As is any one who drank five or more drinks on at least on occasion in the last 30 days. How do the health fascists get away with this? A man has five beers at a company picnic and drinks nothing else the rest of the month and he's a binge drinker? Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaasssseeeeee. Not surprisingly the health fascists have a solution, increase taxes on beer. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. The most important thing liberty-minded policymakers can do is to put a special tax on research studies. Researchers can study whatever they want they should just have to pay a special $100,000 federal tax for each report. I bet the junk science mill house would screech to a stop real quick.

A New Twist on Homophobics Turning Out to be Gay

It's almost conventional wisdom now that someone who is an outspoken gay-basher must secretly be gay. But now a white legislator has added a twist. If you're a white Republican who is secretly attracted to black men, then pretend to be a racist to provide yourself some cover. I can't do this story justice, so just read it yourself. Via David Weigel Wiegal at Hit & Run.

Ron Paul Gives It to Mitt Romney Real Good

not in a gay way (I wish!) but in an anti-war way. Video clip here. Via The Agitator who also links to this story that will make you mad at MADD.

A Good Zinger

I'm no fan of two-faced Romney, and I don't dislike Obama any more than the rest of the Democrats, but this zinger made my day.

The Republican candidates for president used a nationally televised morning debate to mock Democrats on foreign policy, taxes and health care while sparring with each other over abortion and the administration's anti-terrorism efforts.
[...]
Obama (D-Ill.), in particular, was singled out for saying last week that he would act against terrorists in Pakistan without the support of its president. Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney contrasted those comments with Obama's remark during a recent debate that he would be willing to meet with all foreign leaders.

"I mean, in one week he went from saying he's going to sit down, you know, for tea, with our enemies, but then he's going to bomb our allies," Romney said. "He's gone from Jane Fonda to Dr. Strangelove in one week."

Zing!

Don't worry, Obama fought back hard.

Bill Burton, a spokesman for Obama, quickly responded that "the fact that the same Republican candidates who want to keep 160,000 American troops in the middle of a civil war couldn't agree that we should take out Osama bin Laden if we had him in our sights, proves why Americans want to turn the page on the last seven years of Bush-Cheney foreign policy."

Regulations Kill

I think by now everyone is aware that hundreds of babies have been directly killed because of U.S. regulations mandating passenger-side airbags. Less known are the hundreds of additional babies indirectly killed by the regulation.

A 5-month-old baby died after his mother forgot to drop him off at day care and left him in her hot car all day while she worked. Lynn Brol, 32, of Franklinville arrived at her job around 8 a.m. Thursday and did not realize she had left her son, Brayden, in the car until she left work at 5 p.m., police in the rural Wyoming County village of Arcade said.
[...]
Brayden was the 19th child to die in a hot car this summer in the U.S. and the first in New York state, Null said.

The number of such deaths has risen dramatically since the mid-1990s, totaling around 340 in the past 10 years. Experts said the increase coincides with the practice of putting children in the back seat, where they are more easily forgotten. That change was intended to protect kids after juvenile air-bag deaths peaked in 1995.

Some Pigs are More Equal Than Others

I've written before on my opposition to proposed federal legislation that would prevent judges from compelling reporters to reveal their sources or produce certain documents. Well, that legislation passed the House Judiciary Committee today by voice vote. It's not that that I think people should go to jail for refusing to testify or produce information, it's that I don't believe in special rights. Reporters shouldn't have legal rights that other citizens don't have. If Rob tells me about his favorite tranny prostitute I can be compelled by a judge to reveal that information. But if he tells a reporter, the reporter should have the right to remain silent? That's like totally unfair and stuff. Previous posts in defense of jailing reporters here, here, and here. For the record I take a Rothbardian position on the subject of forced testimony overall. From For a New Liberty:

compelling testimony from anyone for any reason is forced labor—and, furthermore, is akin to kidnapping, since the person is forced to appear at the hearing or trial and is then forced to perform the labor of giving testimony. The problem is not only the recent immunity laws; the problem is to eliminate all coerced testimony, including the universal subpoenaing of witnesses to a crime, and then forcing them to testify. In the case of witnesses, there is no question whatever of their being guilty of a crime, so the use of compul­sion against them—a use that no one has questioned until now—has even less justification than compelling testimony from accused criminals.

In fact, the entire power to subpoena should be abolished, because the subpoena power compels attendance at a trial. Even the accused crimi­nal or tortfeasor should not be forced to attend his own trial, since he has not yet been convicted. If he is indeed—according to the excellent and libertarian principle of Anglo-Saxon law—innocent until proved guilty, then the courts have no right to compel the defendant to attend his trial. For remember, the only exemption to the Thirteenth Amend­ment's prohibition of involuntary servitude is "except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted"; an accused party has not yet been convicted. The most the court should be able to do, then, is to notify the defendant that he is going to be tried, and invite him or his lawyer to attend; otherwise, if they choose not to, the trial will proceed in absentia. Then, of course, the defendant will not enjoy the best presentation of his case.

Congressman to World, "I'm a Hypocrite"

File this under "do as I say not as I do".

Nearly everyone on Capitol Hill these days just loves to beat up on earmarks. Unless, of course, the money is headed their way. In a stark example of this paradox, freshman Rep. Kevin O. McCarthy (R-Calif.) e-mailed constituents last week, touting the $200,000 he secured for nurses in Kern County, Calif., then bragged about voting against legislation to appropriate the money. McCarthy secured $200,000 for California State University, Bakersfield to help counter the shortage of trained nurses in his rapidly growing district. But he voted against the $607 billion health care spending bill that included the money because it was $10.6 billion more than President Bush had requested.

In particular, McCarthy complained that the bill included $2 million for the Charles B. Rangel Center for Public Service in Harlem -- money the powerful House Ways and Means chairman secured for the institute bearing his name, which helps low-income and minority students launch careers in politics.

"Taxpayer dollars are not a congressman's personal spending account," McCarthy e-mailed.

More here.

The "Yellow Pages" Test

Congressman Tom Feeney (R-FL) has put forth simple criteria for determining whether or not Congress should pass new regulations or not.

The Laffer Curve, game theory and the classic supply-and-demand diagram are all well established in the economics lexicon.

Less well-known, but arguably more valuable to some House Republicans, is a new economics theory dubbed the “Yellow Pages test.” House Financial Services member Tom Feeney, R-Fla., says he uses the test to determine whether the federal government needs to regulate or be involved in a certain business.

If he can find at least two businesses listed in the Yellow Pages that offer a similar service, Feeney says, then the federal government should steer clear. Fellow conservative and Financial Services member Jeb Hensarling, R-Texas, who actually coined the term “Yellow Pages test” at a hearing last week, agrees.

The government has no business messing around in the private market, Hensarling argued, suggesting that the test ought to be used often.

This advance in economic theory was offered during a committee debate over federal regulation of wind insurance coverage. If it can be applied to wind insurance brokers, one can easily see its extension to other facets of the business world.

As evidenced by the now notorious “D.C. Madam” case, local governments might want to reconsider, for example, whether to interfere with the escort business since there are plenty of those listed in the phone book — all providing, one presumes, a similar service.

Zing! I would also note that many of California's medical marijuana dispensaries are listed in the phone book, but that didn't stop Rep. Feeney or Rep. Hensarling from voting against an amendment last week that would have stopped the federal government from messing around in that private market.

Via Congressional Quarterly (sorry, subscription required).

U.S. Legal System a Joke

I hope this humorless gold digger gets her teeth knocked out.

An oral surgeon who temporarily implanted fake boar tusks in his assistant's mouth as a practical joke and got sued for it has ended up with the last laugh.

Dr. Robert Woo of Auburn had put the phony tusks in while the woman was under anesthesia for a different procedure. He took them out before she awoke, but first he shot photos that eventually made it around the office.

The employee, Tina Alberts, felt so humiliated when she saw the pictures that she quit and sued her boss.

Woo's insurance company, Fireman's Fund, refused to cover the claim, saying the practical joke was intentional and not a normal business activity his insurance policy covered, so Woo settled out of court. He agreed to pay Alberts $250,000, then sued his insurers.

More here.

Norwegian Researchers Prove There is No Shortage of Masochists

I would volunteer for lots of experiments. Testing the effects of cocaine on the human body. Determining how many times an average man can have sex with super models before becoming completely exhausted. Even seeing if it's possible for one man to spend $30 million in 30 days like Richard Pryor in Brewster's Millions. But volunteering to be burned by jellyfish is just plain stupid, in this pseudo-blogger's not-so-humble opinion.

Norwegian researchers are calling for bold, non-hairy humans to bare their arms and be stung by jellyfish — in the name of science.

Testing a new sun screen, aimed at protecting against jellyfish stings, the University of Oslo said it wants volunteers to be burned by jellyfish tentacles on both arms — one with ordinary sun block, the other with anti-jellyfish sun lotion.

"You're supposed to get burned. If you're not, then the tests have been a waste of time," Torgrim Andersen, spokesman for the university's biology department, said Wednesday.
[...]
The compensation? Three bottles of anti-jellyfish sun screen, of course — provided by the sponsor of the trial, the Norwegian sun cream company AC-SunCare.

Any takers? More here.

White House to Skanks: Go Home!

In a policy that is the exact opposite of what mine will be when I'm President, the White House is stepping up its enforcement of rules barring women wearing miniskirts and tank tops from visiting the White House, even if they're part of a tour on a hot, summer day.

signs have popped up at various White House entrances -- including the press entrance and the staff and visitors' entrance at the southwest gate -- along with e-mails to staff members, to remind everyone, particularly tour groups, that, even in these times of sinking poll numbers, proper attire is to be maintained.

The e-mail reminder was all in capital letters. It advised that there would be no jeans, sneakers, shorts, miniskirts, T-shirts, tank tops and -- with boldface added -- "NO FLIP FLOPS." (Which, of course, is good advice, if rarely followed in this town.)

These prohibitions would be in force "regardless of weather conditions."

It seems that someone at the White House has forgot they represent the American people, and the American people are trashy. I guess Baylen - who wears sneakers and shorts as often as Reason's Nick Gillespie wears leather jackets - will have to find other houses to hang out in. I'm going to spend my weekend's outside the White House comforting women turned away for being too trashy.

More here.