Finally, an Anarcho-Capitalist Solution to the Problem of People Letting Their Dogs Poop Everywhere

Just like government-run health care and education, socialized justice is often expensive and of poor quality, and allocation of scarce resources is determined by politics and who has access to power. In a total free market you could hire your own protection agency or take matters into your own hand. I've always found the "street justice" part of anarcho-capitalism, or at least Murray Rothbard's articulation of it, to be rather scary. I'm not comforted by the fact that two brothers who beat me to death because they mistakenly think I raped and killed their sister will be sentenced to death if a jury concludes (after the fact) that they killed the wrong guy. On the other hand, there are many crimes that government police agencies won't prosecute - such as fecal terrorism, whereby dog owners let their dogs poop in other people's lawns. Fecal terrorism is gross and I would love the freedom to be able to rub the dog owner's face in it. Or I could take a more passive-aggressive approach, like kidnapping my neighbor's Jesus statue and holding it hostage until she starts curbing her dogs. See the news story below.



I say problem solved. I'm starting to like street justice.

Bye Bye Cato

I've been concerned for some time that the Cato Institute is not just diluting libertarian positions but advocating unlibertarian ones. Roger Pilon's grotesquely unlibertarian op-ed in the Wall Street Journal in support of unchecked executive power, unlimited spying on U.S. citizens, and retroactive liability immunity for phone companies who violate the privacy of their customers is the last straw. I don't want to be accused of taking anything out of context, so read the whole thing here. My $100-a-year support for Cato ceases here. I urge others to stop giving. With friends of liberty like this who needs enemies? Seriously.


My (long) take on why the President has no more power than a manager at McDonald's here.

Knee Deep in Crack

Just when I'm so sick of living in DC that I can't stand it anymore someone takes pictures of a man fucking another man for crack in a DC alley and writes a funny blog post about. Check it out. God, I love this city.

Master of His Domain

This guy rocks.

LONDON (Reuters) - A farmer built an entire mock castle behind a screen of hay bales and lived there concealed for four years to evade planning regulations, officials said on Friday -- but it may be torn down anyway.

Robert Fidler hopes to take advantage of a provision of planning law that allows buildings without planning permission to be declared legal if no objections have been made after four years.

But Reigate and Banstead Borough Council in Surrey is not impressed.

"It does not count because the property was hidden behind hay bales," said a spokeswoman. "No one knew it was there."

The council wants the building near Redhill some 30 km south of London to be demolished, along with an associated conservatory, marquee structure, wooden bridge, patio, decking and tarmac racecourse.

I hope he pours hot oil on the regulators trying to destroy his castle. Actually, I hope he pours hot oil on Playboy Bunnies and lets me wrestle around with them in his castle, but that's a different fantasy.

Liberal Biased Media vs. Bush

Look, I'm no fan of President Bush. But if this is what passes for good journalism at the Associated Press our country is in serious trouble.

A study by two nonprofit journalism organizations found that President Bush and top administration officials issued hundreds of false statements about the national security threat from Iraq in the two years following the 2001 terrorist attacks.

The study concluded that the statements "were part of an orchestrated campaign that effectively galvanized public opinion and, in the process, led the nation to war under decidedly false pretenses."

Sounds scary, right? The truth, however, is that the study didn't look at whether or not Bush and his people were telling lies. It only measured if the evidence they relied upon turned out to be wrong.

The study counted 935 false statements in the two-year period. It found that in speeches, briefings, interviews and other venues, Bush and administration officials stated unequivocally on at least 532 occasions that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction or was trying to produce or obtain them or had links to al-Qaida or both.

"It is now beyond dispute that Iraq did not possess any weapons of mass destruction or have meaningful ties to al-Qaida," according to Charles Lewis and Mark Reading-Smith of the Fund for Independence in Journalism staff members, writing an overview of the study. "In short, the Bush administration led the nation to war on the basis of erroneous information that it methodically propagated and that culminated in military action against Iraq on March 19, 2003."

There's a big difference between knowing Hussein didn't have weapons of mass destruction and believing that he did but turning out to be wrong. The first is an actual lie or false statement. The latter is a mistake. Given that the British, the French, the German and other intelligence agencies thought Hussein had or was close to having weapons of mass destruction I'm willing to give Bush the benefit of the doubt. Did he fuck up? Yes. Is he total douchebag? Yep. Did he lie his way into war? There's no evidence of that and the media should stop reporting this myth as fact.

Cato's David Boaz on the Ron Paul Newsletter

Strong words. And spot on.

Ron Paul on CNN

Just saw Ron Paul on CNN defending himself against the newsletter charges. He was strong on proving he's not a racist and spent a lot of time attacking the drug war. But he was very weak on how he didn't know this stuff was going out under his name. He even said that he doesn't have any idea who wrote the articles and couldn't find out if he tried. Give me a break! And not helping matters, he often referred to black people as "the blacks". As in "the blacks are voting for me more than any other Republican candidate." And (paraphrasing) "I'm trying to stop the blacks from being persecuted by our drug law". Memo to Ron Paul: Don't say things like "the blacks" when defending yourself against racism. Especially when the words "the blacks" are in almost every sentence of the very newsletter articles you say you didn't write. And please stop with this unbelievable nonsense about not knowing who could have possibly wrote those articles. It makes you sound like a liar.

Here's the story on CNN.com:

A series of newsletters in the name of GOP presidential hopeful Ron Paul contain several racist remarks -- including one that says order was restored to Los Angeles after the 1992 riots when blacks went "to pick up their welfare checks."
[...]
Paul spokesman Jesse Benton told CNN the material was not written by Paul, and that he finds them "abhorrent." CNN asked the presidential contender for a direct esponse. He is to appear on CNN's "The Situation Room" Thursday afternoon around 5 p.m. ET.

"I have publicly taken moral responsibility for not paying closer attention to what went out under my name," Paul said in a written statement.
[..]
Benton maintains that the GOP presidential candidate doesn't know who wrote any of the newsletters. Asked if Paul would try to find out, his spokesman said, "No, what's the point? ... It's time to move on."

Uh, ok. If the Paul campaign is not going to take this issue seriously, then why should voters take him seriously?

The Real Revolution

Ron Paul's long make-out sessions with the worst of the far right aside, here's a glimpse of who really supported his anti-tax, anti-war campaign in New Hampshire:

--13% of Independents vs 6% of Republicans.

--16% of Republicans/Independents who describe themselves as "liberal" vs 7% "moderate" and 6% "conservative".

--22% of Republicans/Independents who think abortion should be legal in most or all cases vs. 11% who think abortion should be illegal in most or all cases.

--24% of Republicans/Independents who support New Hampshire's civil unions law vs 14% who oppose it.

--13% of Republicans/Independents who think illegal immigrants shouldn't be kicked out of the country vs. 8% of those who think they should be deported.

All this suggests, I think, that Dave Weigel and others are right. The campaign wasted their TV ad budget on bashing immigrants instead of reaching out to liberals, moderates and libertarians. Although, I guess it's possible that the anti-immigration, anti-gay, pro-life vote turn-out for Paul would have been lower if it wasn't for his creepy immigrant-bashing ads. But I doubt it. Why didn't the campaign spend its ad money on anti-war-, anti-Patriot-Act and anti-tax ads instead of on anchor babies and student visas?

The Ron Paul Newsletters

I was up past 3am last night reading blog post after blog post and comment after comment about The New Republic's "hit piece" on Ron Paul. Reason. New Republic. Lew Rockwell. Think Progress. I've read them all. There seems to be two libertarian views: 1) The New Republic piece is an intellectually dishonest attempt by a pro-Giuliani writer to smear Ron Paul's name in the hopes of dooming his anti-war campaign. And 2) Ron Paul has a hell of a lot of explaining to do. These views are not mutually exclusive.

I think the author of the piece, James Kirchicks, is intellectually dishonest and definitely a douchebag. He quotes a lot of things out of context and makes quite a few entirely unsubstantiated innuendos. And lets face it, anyone who supports a presidential candidate who supports racial profiling at home and killing brown people abroad is in no position to be judging anyone on issues involving race.

The thrust of Kirchicks' piece, however, cannot be ignored. Ron Paul lent his name to a newsletter that for at least four years was full of racist and homophobic diatribes. Take for instance this witty piece from a 1990 newsletter (and by witty I mean shitty):

A mob of black demonstrator, led by the "Rev." Al Sharpton , occupied and closed the Statute of Liberty recently, demanding that New York be renamed Martin Luther King City "to reclaim it for our people."

Hmmmm. I hate to agree with the Rev. Al, but maybe a name change is in order. Welfaria? Zooville? Rapetown? Dirtburg? Lazyopolis?

But Al, the Statue of Liberty? Next time, hold that demonstration at a food stamp bureau or a crack house.

God. It's not even clever. How about at least Crookland. Or Stabbin' Island. You can read other such garbage here.

Now, Rep. Paul has said many times that he didn't write any of these offensive pieces and I believe him. I also believe him when he says he opposes the hateful sentiments expressed in the articles. But why did he lend out his name to the people who wrote them? And why did it take him so long to stop them from perpetuating such hate-filled messages?

Pauls' claims - years ago and now - that he didn't realize what was in the newsletters rings completely hollow. We're not just talking about a newsletter with the words "Ron Paul" in its name. The articles are written in first person as if he - not someone else - is speaking. And he has admitted to profiting from the letters. I don't think there's a single person alive who would profit from something being written in their name who wouldn't check to see what was being written.

I think it's more likely that Ron Paul knew what was in the newsletters and allowed them to be published anyway. Maybe he didn't see every article, but there's no way he didn't see any of them. So why would he allow these articles to happen? Perhaps because he realized there was money to be made selling such dribble. Even if just 5,000 nut-jobs were willing to pay $25 a year to read it, that's $125,000 a year in revenue. That money could not only fund a later foray into politics (the most offensive pieces were written after his unsuccessful run for president on the Libertarian Party ticket and before his successful run for Congress as a Republican) but also help maintain a database of potential funders he could solicit in future campaigns. (I'm not the only one suggesting a theory like this. At least one person in the know is too.)

Of course even if my conjecture is true, it doesn't make Ron Paul a racist. In fact, the evidence suggests he exploited racists - taking their money and using it to spread a message of peace and individual rights. Well, good for him. I guess. But neither him nor his supporters should be shocked that his association with these newsletters casts doubts on his moral integrity and ability to lead a movement. He profited from hate anyway you cut it.

Paul's die-hard loyalists say The New Republic piece is just re-hashing old news. That's true. But it's important news and I want to know more. I want to hear from Ron Paul's own mouth how all this happened. And it's not enough for him - or his loyalists - to say he has addressed this issue already. Because he hasn't addressed it for me. Or the tens of thousands of people fighting on the frontlines to boost his campaign and message. He has a responsibility to many to come totally clean.

Here are six simple questions I want answers for:

1) What exactly was his relationship to these newsletters?
2) If he didn't write these newsletters, then who did?
3) Why did he allow his name to be used by this person (or group of people)?
4) Did he read any of these newsletter before they went out? If not, why not?
5) At what point did the hate-filled messages cease? And why did they cease?
6) Did he profit substantially from these newsletters? And was that money and/or the mailing list built-up by the newsletters used to fund any of his free-market projects over the years, including running for Congress and President?

Finally, a disclaimer: I've contributed money to Ron Paul's campaign and hope the anti-state/anti-war Revolution he has sparked continues to grow.

Damn Revenuers

Today's Washington Post has a great article on the government's war on illegal whiskey brewers and their way of life.

Since Prohibition, southwestern Virginia has been a hub of moonshine production, along with North Carolina and a few other Southern States. The tradition extends to the English and Scotch-Irish colonists who settled western Virginia and made grain-based whiskey and the Germans who specialized in apple brandy. When Franklin County was formed in 1786, the first county court met in a house with a tavern.
[...]
"People try to portray us as country bumpkins, but we're proud of being rednecks, and we're proud of the craft of making liquor," said Linda Stanley, the fast-talking special projects coordinator for the Franklin County Historical Society. "Around here, people still talk about the War Between the States, they still talk about making apple butter and they still talk about moonshine."
[..]
Like other residents, Wilson said he loves moonshine because with no federal or state taxes, it's cheaper than some store-bought liquor, and the raw, firelike taste is distinctive. He also had kind words for Smith, saying that the government should leave him alone. "What's the big deal? It's just some people getting drunk," Wilson said.

Agents and experts in the liquor trade said that because it's unregulated, moonshine has been found to contain lead, pesticides and other dangerous substances. "I've seen cows basically go to the bathroom in a creek and then that same water be run through a still to make liquor," McEntire said.

Whiskey made with water a cow took a piss in? Sign me up! Seriously. As for those damn revenuers, get a life!

For All Our Fans Who Got to Us by Googling "Hot Monkey Sex"

Fred Thompson may not understand basic economics but monkeys do.

It turns out that one of humanity's oldest professions may be even older than we thought: In a recent study of macaque monkeys in Indonesia, researchers found that male primates "paid" for sexual access to females — and that the going rate for such access dwindled as the number of available females went up.

According to the paper, "Payment for Sex in a Macaque Mating Market," published in the December issue of Animal Behavior, males in a group of about 50 long-tailed macaques in Kalimantan Tengah, Indonesia, traded grooming services for sex with females; researchers, who studied the monkeys for some 20 months, found that males offered their payment up-front, as a kind of pre-sex ritual. It worked. After the females were groomed by male partners, female sexual activity more than doubled, from an average of 1.5 times an hour to 3.5 times. The study also showed that the number of minutes that males spent grooming hinged on the number of females available at the time: The better a male's odds of getting lucky, the less nit-picking time the females received. Though primates have been observed trading grooming for food sharing or infant care, this is the first time this kind of exchange has been observed between male and female primates in a sexual context, says lead researcher Michael Gumert of Singapore's Nanyang Technological University, demonstrating that the amount of time a male macaque "will invest in [its] partner" depends largely on how many options it has around.

This research suggests several things.

First, if grooming your date to get sex is prostitution than so is buying her dinner. Or for that matter listening to what she has to say. If I lived in Alaska I would probably hang on my date's every word. At least if she was watching me closely. If I thought she wasn't paying attention I would watch a cartoon monkey dance in my head while she talked. But I would at least pretend like I was paying attention. Because I live in DC, where single women are everywhere, I can happily tell women to fuck off and let me watch Family Guy.

Second, when law enforcement wastes taxpayer resources arresting prostitutes they're acting as a price support mechanism that keeps the price of hookers artificially high. Or in monkey math, more arrests = more grooming. Since corruption runs rampant in many law enforcement agencies, we should assume that police are trying to keep prices high for area pimps.

Third, here are pictures of Kelly Brook bathing topless. Not directly related, but I would love to groom her. NSFW BTW.

Ever Clever Mike Huckabee Knows What's Up

He's cribbing from Ron Paul's play sheet.

Speaking to a packed gymnasium Sunday, Mike Huckabee sounded off on how politicians in Washington, D.C. had spent beyond their public mandate. He then threw in a line about money printing that could have come out of Ron Paul’s mouth. “We sent them there to cut spending, and they didn’t do it. They’ve spent more money than has ever been spent. Guess where that money is coming from. Your pocket," Huckabee said. "Just remember this, when government says we’re giving you things, remember before the government can give you something, the government has to take it from you first. And the handling charge is extraordinary.” “We need to say no to government spending when it’s wrecking our grandchildren’s futures. Nine trilllion dollars worth of debt on your credit card that somebody transferred to the next several generations. That’s irresponsible. And what’s their answer? Spend more. Print more, spend more.”

My Kind of Soldier

This is outrageous.

A woman has been kicked out of army training because she has silicone breast implants. Alessija Dorfmann, 23, said: “I am devastated. It has always been my dream to be a soldier and have a great figure.

“Now my fake boobs have cost me my job.”

She has appealed against the ruling by top brass in Hamburg, Germany, who said implants increased risk of injury.

Fire Every Striking Hollywood Writer

I'm so sick of the Hollywood writers strike. For starters, we have people in this country doing back-breaking labor while these writers are striking for not getting paid enough to sit around in comfortable lounges, eating pizza and coming up with new ideas. As John Stossell would say, GIVE ME A BREAK! Secondly, it's not just that they don't want to work. It's that they're using the coercive power of the state to prevent others from working. That's terrorism. And given that we're talking about writing, the federal government is violating the First Amendment by forcing companies to negotiate with their union. A case in point:

Letterman, Leno, Conan O'Brien and Craig Ferguson all went back to work last night after being away for a while due to the writer's strike. Letterman and O'Brien came back with full beards which they will only shave off when the strike ends. All four dudes were also instructed by the WGA that they cannot write any material beforehand. They have to do everything off the cuff. Good luck Jay.

Excuse me? Dave Letterman is being barred from writing his own material? For a show he not only hosts but owns? Outrageous. It's time for everyone who likes watching TV to stand up to these Hollywood thugs. If you don't want to do your job, fine. But move out of the way so people who want to write can.

I Don't Give a Shit

A Harvard research scientist had an intriguing oped in the New York Times a few days ago in which he argues that the federal government is spending too much money on AIDS and not enough on other health problems.

Some have criticized Mr. Bush for requesting “only” $30 billion for the next five years for AIDS and related problems, with the leading Democratic candidates having pledged to commit at least $50 billion if they are elected. Yet even the current $15 billion in spending represents an unprecedented amount of money aimed mainly at a single disease.
[...]
Many millions of African children and adults die of malnutrition, pneumonia, motor vehicle accidents and other largely preventable, if not headline-grabbing, conditions. One-fifth of all global deaths from diarrhea occur in just three African countries — Congo, Ethiopia and Nigeria — that have relatively low H.I.V. prevalence. Yet this condition, which is not particularly difficult to cure or prevent, gets scant attention from the donors that invest nearly $1 billion annually on AIDS programs in those countries.

Via Jacob Sullum at Hit & Run.

Free at Last

In what could really catapult Ron Paul into the national spotlight (for either good or bad), his supporters are preparing another "money bomb" for January 21st - Martin Luther King Day. This is an interesting follow-up to the previous money bombs, Guy Fawkes Day and Boston Tea Party. For a lot of reasons, I can see how raising a lot of money on this day could provoke some controversy (his position on the Civil Right Act and the civil war, for instance). At every step controversy seems to push up his poll numbers though.

You can learn more and pledge money at www.FreeAtLast2008.com.

Showing ID to Vote

Today's Washington Post has a great article on a controversial case the Supreme Court will be deciding in the new year: is it unconstitutional for states to require people to show government-issued IDs to vote?

"It is exceedingly difficult to maneuver in today's America without a photo ID (try flying, or even entering a tall building such as the courthouse in which we sit, without one)," Circuit Judge Richard A. Posner, a Ronald Reagan appointee, wrote in deciding that Indiana's strictest-in-the-nation law is not burdensome enough to violate constitutional protections.

His colleague on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 7th Circuit, Bill Clinton appointee Terence T. Evans, was equally frank in dissent. "Let's not beat around the bush: The Indiana voter photo ID law is a not-too-thinly veiled attempt to discourage election-day turnout by certain folks believed to skew Democratic," Evans wrote.

While I generally am offended when asked to show an ID, the one exception is when I'm being asked to prove who I say I am. Not only do I think it's OK for states to require people to prove who they are when they're voting, I think every state should. Not because I'm worried about widespread voter fraud but because it's just commonsense. To those who worry that people without ID won't be able to vote I say, "so". It's not that hard to get an ID, and if you don't have one you're probably not that involved in your community anyway.

Of course, a radical libertarian might argue that people shouldn't be required to get government-issued IDs and/or you shouldn't have the burden of proving you are who you say you are. I think that makes sense in lots of instances, like a police encounter. But in instances where you're saying you're a specific person - someone registered to vote, someone who has an electronic ticket for a flight, someone who is claiming they're the person listed on a credit card - it makes sense to require people to prove who they are. What are people's thoughts on this issue?

Video: Ron Paul on NBC Meet the Press

Awesome, awesome, awesome.

Via LewRockwell.com.

Mile High Club

Just what I need to join the Mile High Club - by myself.

NEW YORK - Seat 17D is yapping endlessly on an Internet phone call. Seat 16F is flaming Seat 16D with expletive-laden chats. Seat 16E is too busy surfing porn sites to care. Seat 17C just wants to sleep.

Welcome to the promise of the Internet at 33,000 feet — and the questions of etiquette, openness and free speech that airlines and service providers will have to grapple with as they bring Internet access to the skies in the coming months.

Porn and the ability to call 1-900 numbers. Talk about a happy ending to every flight.

Right On

I read James Pinkerton's smear of Ron Paul in Newsday today. He claimed that Paul called Huckabee a fascist. By any objective viewing of Paul's Fox News appearance, however, Paul didn't. I was going to do a post on how Paul should have said outright that Huckabee is a fascist; but I didn't have the time. Fortunately, Lew Rockwell did.

what is fascism? It is a real ideology, not just an epithet. It is characterized by belligerent nationalism, militarism, aggressive war, suppression of civil liberties, use of religion in the service of the state, exaltation of the executive, opposition to free markets domestically and internationally, corporatism, welfarism, domestic spying, torture, and detestation of the Other, in this case Muslims and Arabs. So not only is Huckabee a fascist, so are most other candidates of both parties, and the entire Christian right

Right on.

The Case for Legalizing Same-sex Marriage Outlawing Heterosexual Marriage

I love it when people who oppose legalizing same-sex marriage say that letting gays marry would undermine the institution of marriage. If that's the standard than we should outlaw heterosexual marriage too.

It seems like only two months ago that Pamela Anderson was aglow with happiness over her quickie Las Vegas wedding to Rick Salomon. Actually, it was. But the 40-year-old ex-"Baywatch" beauty has filed for divorce from her 38-year-old husband after just two months of marriage.
[...]
Salomon is best known for making a sex videotape with Paris Hilton, his girlfriend at the time, and was previously married to actress Shannen Doherty. Anderson was previously married to singer Kid Rock and Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee.

Great scientific analysis of Pamela Anderson's breasts here. Slightly NSFW.

Prick of the Year

I hope a gang of drunk, slutty women and the men who love them beat the shit out of this guy.

NEW YORK - Men are not discriminated against by "ladies' nights" at Manhattan nightclubs, just as people in their 20s do not suffer because some restaurants let children eat for free or have "early bird" specials for older customers, according to nightclub lawyers fighting a federal lawsuit.

Roy Den Hollander has sued clubs including Lotus and the China Club, saying he was discriminated against by ladies' nights, which offer women free or discounted admission and drinks.

More on this buzz killer here. I would like to go on record - right here, right now - as saying that every night is ladies' night at my house. Women drink for free. Well, financially free at least. They may have emotional scars that will last for years.

Fox News Sticks it to Hillary Clinton

I love FoxNews.com because it has the greatest headlines. Like this totally obvious attempt to call Hillary a Nazi on their homepage.

The Leader Stumbles
Even before the first votes are cast, a series of campaign gaffes threaten Hillary's frontrunner status.

Nothing Says "Eat the Rich" Like Wearing Gucci

I'm increasingly hostile towards upper middle class, or outright rich, leftists who buy $5,000 sofas to put in their expensive houses while at the same time advocating tax increases to help the poor. How about instead of paying $1,200 for a stupid painting to put on your wall you give that money to the local homeless shelter and leave my paycheck alone? Or sell that $500 cellphone and send the money to Ethiopia. This guy, however, really, really pisses me off.

Venezuelan Interior Minister Pedro Carreno was momentarily at a loss for words when a journalist interrupted his speech and asked if it was not contradictory to criticize capitalism while wearing Gucci shoes and a tie made by Parisian luxury goods maker Louis Vuitton.

"I don't, uh ... I ... of course," stammered Carreno on Tuesday before regaining his composure. "It's not contradictory because I would like Venezuela to produce all this so I could buy stuff produced here instead of 95 percent of what we consume being imported."

The video clip (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDsdXkY4UlE) had been viewed more than 15,000 times on Thursday, a day after it was posted on the YouTube Web site.

And After the Spanking, the Oral Sex

Stephen King gives last interview before being shipped off to Guantanamo Bay.

So I said something to the Nightline guy about waterboarding, and if the Bush administration didn't think it was torture, they ought to do some personal investigation. Someone in the Bush family should actually be waterboarded so they could report on it to George. I said, I didn't think he would do it, but I suggested Jenna be waterboarded and then she could talk about whether or not she thought it was torture.

Story via LewRockwell.com.

Censored picture of Jenna Bush Jenna's bush here.

Suspected Skank Turns Out to be a Skank

Remember that hot 23-year-old college student who Southwest Airlines almost kicked off a flight for dressing too slutty? Well, now she's posing for Playboy. Jesus, Buddha, Allah, I love you all!

Kyla Ebbert appears in a series of pictures — some in lingerie, some nude — under the heading, "Legs in the Air."

"They're very tastefully done," Ebbert told The Associated Press on Thursday. "I don't see anything wrong with the female body."

Wow. We have so much in common.

Safe for work story here.

Yeah, Without Federal Regulations Companies Have No Incentives to Not Kill Their Customers

Nope, none at all. I'm sure McDonalds would be putting glass and tacks in their hamburgers if it wasn't for federal regulators.

Edward Markey has been waiting for decades to close what he might call a loop-de-“loophole” in roller-coaster regulation. The Massachusetts Democrat started down the track Thursday with a proposal to restore ’coaster regulatory powers to the Consumer Product Safety Commission.

"You put your kid on a ride that goes 80 mph, and you’re assuming there’s some regulation,” Markey said, citing “staggering” roller-coaster injury rates.

Republican Cliff Stearns of Florida played carny’s advocate. Injuries from fixed-site amusement rides rank just above harm by darts, he said. And, he noted, ’coaster numbers are way below basketball injuries — a point with special relevance for Markey, who was hurt playing basketball a few months ago.

“Following [Markey’s] line of reasoning, we would want to put federal regulators first and foremost in charge of basketball regulation . . . and work it on down to racquetball and fishing,” Stearns joked.

Markey ended up withdrawing his amendment in good humor, but he promised to come back for another ride when the full committee considers the bill.

Awesome.

Via Congressional Quarterly (sorry, subscription required).

When Humping Your Bicycle is Outlawed Only Outlaws Will Hump Bicycles

The biggest problem with sex offenders registries is that there are too many people on them who are not real sex offenders. A case in point:

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation... Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years...Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

So simulating sex with a bicycle in the privacy of your own hotel room makes you a sex offender? Bullshit. I suppose one could argue that the real offense was simulating sex in front of hotel staff, but can't people take a joke any more?

More here. Via The Agitator.

Childe Harold, R.I.P.

Sorry, I'm a few days late on this. But I wanted to give a shout out to the closing of my favorite DC restaurant. First, the real Stoney's. Now this. I'm going to drink myself into a stupor tonight. That has nothing to do with the Childe Harold closing. I just thought I would tell you my evening plans.

Before they became limousine famous, Emmylou Harris and Bruce Springsteen played in a litany of run-down, no-name joints, where small, unsuspecting audiences got that rare chance to see, hear and touch undiscovered genius.

In Washington, that joint was the Childe Harold, a cozy, wood-lined saloon in Dupont Circle, where, in its heyday, patrons filled every nook and cranny, the bathrooms reeked of marijuana and everyone talked for years after about whom they saw perform there.

The Immoral Religious Right

It's long been evident that given a choice between a candidate who opposes high taxes, the welfare state and the war in Iraq and a candiate who supports high taxes, the welfare state and the war in Iraq most Republicans would choose the latter. They simply care more about killing brown people than they do reducing the size of government. What is shocking is that so many so-called Christian conservatives put a higher value on killing foreigners than they do on banning abortion and stopping gay marriage.

Evangelical Christian leader Pat Robertson on Wednesday endorsed former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, who has struggled to bridge with conservatives some of his socially moderate policy positions on abortion and gay rights.
[..]
"The overriding issue before the American people, is the defense of our population against the bloodlust of Islamic terrorists," Robertson told the National Press Club audience. "Our world faces deadly peril...and we need a leader with a bold vision who is not afraid to tackle the challenges ahead."

Robertson said Giuliani is "a proven leader who is not afraid of what lies ahead and who will cast a hopeful vision for all Americans ... It is my hope and prayer that he will lead the Republican Party to victory in November of 2008."

I guess supporting abortion and civil unions is ok as long as you want to burn Muslims at the stake.

More here. Via Hit & Run.

All Laws are Stupid, But Some Laws are Stupider Than Others

The votes are in. The Top 10 most stupid British laws:

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27 percent)

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (four percent)

My personal favorites:

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (six percent)

6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants,
including in a policeman's helmet (four percent)

I'm totally seeking a pregnant clerk in a tropical fish store in Liverpool to date. Are you out there?

Off and On

Off my vacation destination list:

El Alto, Bolivia.

Prostitutes in the Bolivian city of El Alto sewed their lips together Wednesday as part of a hunger strike to demand that the mayor reopen brothels and bars ordered closed after violent protests by residents last week.

On my vacation destination list:

Western Australia.

CANBERRA (Reuters) - An Australian barmaid has been fined for crushing beer cans between her bare breasts while an off-duty colleague has been fined for hanging spoons from her friend's nipples, police said Wednesday.

Nice Guys Finish Last

Cannibals finish first.

MEXICO CITY - An aspiring writer who left a horror scene of body parts in his apartment was arraigned on Thursday on charges of murder and desecrating a corpse after he allegedly cut up and ate part of his girlfriend's body.

Jose Luis Calva — better known in tabloids as Mexico City's "cannibal" — refused to make a formal plea, saying "I can't get my thoughts together right now."

Police say he had previously acknowledged killing 32-year-old girlfriend Alejandra Galeana, and prosecutors believe he killed and dismembered two other girlfriends, but have not charged him for those crimes.

"He killed her because he was high on cocaine," said defense attorney Humberto Guerrero Plata. "He didn't eat her, he just cut her body up."

Wow. That's some defense attorney he has there. And some magical cocaine. I used to wonder why douchebags get all the ladies. But then I was like, I'm a douchebag so why should I care.