So...Is This An Ad for Craigslist?

Down in the Great Cesspool that is Florida, the Polk County Sheriff confirms what many of us have known for quite a while now. That is, if you are looking to have sex with a better-than-average looking pregnant prostitute, then craigslist is the place to go. Here's the story:

The Polk Sheriff County Sheriff's Office launched a sting over the weekend called Operation Hot Date. Undercover detectives arrested 34 people, including alleged prostitutes and their pimps who were advertising on Craigslist. They came to Polk from Tampa, Orlando, and out the state.

At a press conference on Monday, Sheriff Grady Judd called Craigslist a one-stop shop for all your prostitution needs.

"This is a public health issue. We know historically that prostitutes spread HIV and AIDS," Judd said.

Lets get one thing out of the way before we go where we all know this is going (the mugshots). I've spent time in Florida. Lots of time. I've had sex in Florida. Specifically, sex that I didn't have to pay for. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Prostitutes spreading diseases are the least of your worries. Avoiding a STD while spending any amount of significant time in Florida would be like trying to stay dry on the Titanic. Futile effort. Doesn't matter who you are fucking. Trust me on this one.

Now for the pictures...Which gets me back to original thrust of this post. There are some decent looking hookers in the bunch selling their services for some pretty fair prices. I'm not sure this is anything but an advertisement for the marketplace of craigslist. From The Smoking Gun:

SEPTEMBER 15--Charging that Craigslist remains a "one-stop shop for all your prostitution needs," a Florida sheriff yesterday announced the arrest of 28 women who allegedly advertised sexual services on the popular online classifieds site. Dubbed "Operation Hot Date," the undercover police action also netted several pimps who worked with the alleged hookers, said Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd. The women, pictured in the mug shots on the following pages, offered a variety of sexual acts carrying prices between $125 and $800. Two of the alleged hookers who arrived for appointments with undercover officers were pregnant, and a third arrived with fur-lined handcuffs.

The first page of mugshots is definitely the cream of the crop with page 3 not far behind. I'm not saying any of these ladies will be crowned Queen Nicotina at the local county fair, but it's still an impressive field all things considered.

P.S. I've covered the lunacy of the War on Craigslist with a more (relatively speaking) serious tone here. Click on the craigslist label for even more craigslist goodness.

I Had a Similar Thing Happen In Vegas When We Requested "College Aged" Girls

Needless to say I don't know too many college aged girls who have C-section scars and stretch marks. Thank god we refused the "mature women".

These guys has even worse luck:

Mountlake Terrace police are on the lookout for a trio of escorts who are alleged to have stolen about $440 from four customers who had invited them over for a weekend party. The cops have their work cut out for them since they're relying on four victims who were "incredibly" intoxicated and provided only the barest of descriptions.

According to police, the four victims decided, after a night of drinking at a Mountlake Terrace home, to pool their money and hire an escort from Craigslist early Saturday morning. "They found a woman whose picture they found appealing and called," said Det. Sgt. Doug Hansen.

But when the woman and two female friends arrived, the men later told police, they found that none of them looked like the woman in the ad. The women were described vaguely to police as being "larger and thicker" than the female pictured in the Craigslist ad.

"The men said they were not as advertised," said Hansen

The men still paid of course (when god gives you fat girls you make fat girl lemonade, am I right?) and then the call girls did what every call girl does. They stole from them. At least these broads were upfront about it.

But instead of going into the bathroom, the women ducked into a bedroom and started rooting around for things to steal, including a Blackberry and some jewelry, Hansen said. The men saw her and tried to stop her, but the woman ran outside to her friends and all three raced back to their car, a maroon Ford hatchback.

The men chased after them, but one man was run over when he tried block the women from driving off. The man suffered injuries that required a two-day hospital stay, Hansen said. The men were were unable to get a license plate number.[...]

While trying to describe the suspects to police, the men decided to rate the women on a scale of 1 to 10. Three said the women all rated a "2." But the man described by police as the most intoxicated disagreed and claimed they rated a "4."

Good stuff.

Don't Delis Usually Have Meat?

Perusing the classifieds on craigslist:

This is your chance to work in a strictly lacto-vegetarian/vegan deli....we have 2 locations....1 in Timonium and 1 in Monkton. Please specify which area you are most interested in when applying. Looking for someone who is self-directed, motiivated, clean, on time, knowledgeable about vegetarian food, kind, easygoing and works fast. No slowpokes need apply. Pay contingent upon experience and what you offer to the business. Must learn to use register, make sandwiches and juices, clean, do prep and other related tasks. If you know how to cook and have worked with food professionally that is a huge plus. For the most part, if you say "I like to cook for myself", that doesn't count as professional experience. Respond quickly because these jobs will not be open for long. Looking for part-timers and seasonal workers (Monkton location). If you don't like to smile, don't respond to this add. Peace. Also offering unpaid internships to folks who want to work in our places

Gee, who wouldn't want an "unpaid internship" at a vegan sandwich shop. Sweet gig to put on you resume. Hey future employers, I was stupid enough to fill bread for free. Hire me!

Which reminds me -- I have an unpaid internship available in my home office that involves doing all my daily chores (minus masterbation) and assorted day job work. Hit me up if you are interested.

Craigslist's Buckmaster Goes Down, And Cheaply Too

Last month I sold my car through Craigslist. Why that way? Mainly because Craigslist doesn't charge you if you want to advertise a car. They only charge for two things: Job listings and "erotic services".

Well, scratch one of those:

CHICAGO - (AP) Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan says that Craigslist is getting rid of its "erotic services" ads and will create a new adult category that Web site employees will review.

Madigan's office said Wednesday that such existing ads on Craigslist will expire in seven days.

Madigan and the attorneys general for Connecticut and Missouri met with Craigslist officials last week seeking an end to ads they contend are advertisements for illegal sexual activities.

An e-mail sent to Craigslist CEO Jim Buckmaster was not immediately returned Wednesday morning.

Craigslist came under renewed pressure to remove the ads after a medical student in Boston was charged with the April killing of a masseuse he met on the site.

As Rob has already pointed out, these ads are far better than the alternative, forcing the girls to walk the streets where their chances of a meeting a guy like the Craigslist killer are about 100% higher.

I suggest we start a fundraising drive for Buckmaster to help him afford a pair of testicles, 'cause he obviously needs a pair. Who's with me?

Because It's Safer to be a Hooker on the Corner

Rhode Island AG Blasts Craigslist

WARWICK, R.I. -- Rhode Island Attorney General Patrick Lynch took aim at Craigslist today after announcing that his office was seeking charges against Philip Markoff for allegedly attacking a third woman he met through the classified ad website.

Philip Markoff has been in the news as the clean-cut college kid charged with murdering an alleged prostitute that he met via Craigslist. Patrick Lynch is one of the 40 AGs from around the country that came together to bully Craigslist into doing things like requiring credit card information for ads posted in the Erotic Services section, and increasing cooperation with law enforcement.

The effect of all this, and of any future restrictions, is to make it more difficult to use what may be the safest avenue for selling sex in a society that has decided to criminalize the act.

Patrick Lynch thinks Craigslist is dangerous for these women? Wait until he forces them out onto the streets. Take Baltimore for example. At least 5 prostitutes strangled in '08 (the linked article says 4, but there was another body found shortly after that Examiner piece), and a total of 9 unopened cases of strangled prostitutes in the city since '03.

I'm not an expert on the mechanics of killing hookers -- but I'm guessing it's a lot harder to do it when the prostitute can pre-screen potential clients via the internet, control the meeting place and time and let someone know where exactly they will be -- AND -- perhaps most importantly, control their own business more effectively as a one-woman show, instead of dealing with some pimp or gang who controls the street corner where she works. It's all obvious of course, but when you are grandstanding for political points, as is the case of these Attorney Generals, facts and the safety of hookers doesn't matter much.

Further Proof that Higher Ed is the Next Bubble To Burst

This guy needs to look at the bright side. He may have been cheated out of $2,000, but it most likely saved him $60,000 of future debt after he realizes that maybe college isn't for him:

J ake Welke, a sophomore majoring in special education at Illinois State University, was looking for a part-time job to help him pay his way through college.

"My professor suggested looking for jobs on craigslist (an Internet classified advertising service), and I saw a listing from a Filipino woman who was looking for an English tutor for her son, a foreign exchange student."

Welke, whose parents live in New Lenox, responded with his name and phone number, and the woman soon sent him another e-mail. It said the job would pay $40 an hour for four weeks, and he would be required to meet with her son for a minimum of three times a week.[...]

"I have to admit that $40 an hour sounds like $1 million to a college student," Welke said. "I sent her an e-mail saying I was still interested and asked for her son's name and age. She never answered those questions but sent me another e-mail saying I was hired."

The mother said she was sending Welke two MoneyGrams for $1,000 each. She asked that he take $500 out for himself and send a check for $1,500 to the nanny who would be flying immediately from Florida to Illinois with the woman's son. It was essential that he send the money right way so the nanny could pay for her flight and hotel room, the woman's e-mail said.

Jake, who ironically happens to be a special ed major, dutifully complied with the overweight Nigerian man Filipino mother and sent the check:

The MoneyGrams were fake, although they looked authentic. His bank accepted the money orders, Welke wrote a check for $1,500 on his account, and then Welke discovered 10 days later that the MoneyGrams were no good. He was on the hook for the entire $2,000.

There was no foreign exchange student. There wasn't any nanny. And the Filipino woman likely was a Nigerian, operating out of East Africa, Canada or England.

Welke's mother, Evelynn, blames herself.

"I told him money orders were as good as money. I told him to go ahead and deposit the money and write the check. I feel responsible," she said.

Jake Welke said he couldn't believe the Filipino woman was so trusting.

Jesus. What a retarded family. This scam doesn't even make sense. How the fuck do you fall for this?

Jake, you could have done what I and countless other college students did for drug and alcohol money during college -- No not blow jobs to random guys at highway rest stops. Although I heard that can be quite lucrative...Instead go get a low paying retail job. Or work on campus. Tend bar. Or wait tables. It's not that fucking hard to find a part-time job in school. You don't need to go on craigslist looking for $40/hr tutoring gigs for fucks sake.

Do You Party?

From my Sunday night craigslist searching comes this ad for some brave soul.

Me and my boyfriend have been up all night drinking and smoking crack. We are looking for another woman to come over and continue on with us. He has had a cockring on all night so he'll be hard for hours. He wants to watch me eat another woman while he is fucking me and vice versa. Everything we can do in a 3way. We can host right off of Caton Ave. Email us back and we can give you the address. Please send a pic and be serious

You can check out the pics at the original link.
God bless the internet.

Hazzah! The Election is Over!

Now back to 24/7 unadulterated prostitution posting -- Craigslist to begin requiring credit card information for erotic services ads. Gawker:

It's becoming a real hassle to offer sex for money on Craigslist, apparently. At first sex workers just had to think up a euphemism for prostitution, like "FULL EROTIC EXAMINATION" or "naughty sweet treat" or the cryptic "GFE" or the almost sweet "delightful relaxing time." Then, earlier this year, they had to have a working phone number, and listings dropped 80 percent. Now, under pressure from attorneys general in 40 states, Craigslist is going to require "erotic services" providers to pony up $10 for each listing, and pay with a credit card, which the police will be able to subpoena.

I could go off on how bad this is for the women who will now have to find a much more dangerous marketplace to sell their services; but everyone reading this here all ready knows this. I could go on about how I accidentally clicked through a couple of the craigslist ads in the Gawker post and that I might need to find a new job soon -- but at this point you're probably wondering how I manage to keep a job for more than 6 months, no matter my recent craigslist clicks with my everyday browsing/drinking habits.

What I really wanted to point out however, is that one of my roommates recently bought a pair of skis off of craigslist and my first reaction was "where do you find skis on craigslist?"

What A Fetish

I was all pumped up about responding to this Craigslist add, until I got to the part that said I could not masturbate behind the black curtain with the eyeholes cut out. That's where I draw the line.

If I was to post such an add, however, I don't think I would have been so specific about the items I "borrowed" from the art museum to carry out my fantasy. But to each their own.

HT: TheAgitator

Mean People Say Mean Things On the Internet

Brilliant idea for a newspaper column! I mean who knew about this?

Ahh, Craigslist, that happy little website of frugal friends buying, selling or trading worn-out cars and cozy apartment furniture.

Plus, there are all those hilarious jokes about blacks, gays, Hispanics, women and Jews.

The dirty little secret about the wildly popular Craigslist is that one click away from its home page are some raunchy and often deeply offensive forums inviting blatant racism, rants and sexual kinks.

This is what offends the guy on Craigslist? The forums? Clearly he's never clicked on the women seeking women personals. Yikes. Nothing but black, BBW lesbians lounging around in sexy/disturbing/hideous (take your pick) nude poses. Words are words. But a clit the size of refrigerator, is a clit the size of a refrigerator. And that sir, is offensive. Or hot. Personally I think it's hot. But I'm a mess. So whatever.

If You Want a 4 Day Work Week, Become a Nurse

I'm sympathetic to working less. I try to do that everyday. Wasting time online reading newspapers, visiting various political blogs, and trolling craigslist for anonymous sex. Everyone does it. But at least we pretend to work for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Don't fuck around with my system of coping with mundane office life by advocating switching to a 4 day work week.

And I love this anti-consumerist nut job who wrote the piece:

Reason #15 The 4 Day Work Week would provide time for a transition into the informal economy

There are a lot of reasons why consumer culture is bad for us. It focuses not on people and their relationships to one another but instead on things, on stuff, on cheap plastic crap from Mal-Wart. It’s worth pointing out that not only is our habit of consuming mass quantities of junk toxifying our lives and our environment with all sorts of chemicals and pollution, it’s also using up a number of nonrenewable resources at an alarming rate. It seems reasonable to assume that we can’t continue on this ride of infinite growth for a whole lot longer...

No, actually we can continue this infinate growth for a whole lot longer.

The Suspension of Belief

Idaho Senator Larry Craig's wife might be the only person on the planet who believes that the Senator pleaded guilty by mistake. From the NY Times,

Mr. Craig, the Idaho Republican, was joined by his wife Suzanne as he spoke in Boise. He asserted that he pleaded guilty to the lesser charge of disorderly conduct...“in hopes of making it go away.” At various times, he called the plea — officially completed Aug. 8 and brought to light by Roll Call yesterday — “a misjudgment,” “an overreaction” and a “lapse in judgment.”

I find it hard to believe that Craig did not spend the three weeks between his arrest and plea thinking very hard about what he should do and somehow accidentally pleaded guilty.

Were Craig not a social conservative who made restricting the legal rights of homosexuals a key part of his platform, then I would not care about his private behavior. Hey, as I stroll into middle-age it is encouraging that a guy that old is still so horny that he can't control himself at a public toilet. But the hypocrisy makes Craig and his ilk need to be shot down. This country cannot have our private and sexual lives controlled by people who want to make illegal what they do in bathrooms because they are ashamed of it.

Mrs. Craig could start a tea party group of wives whose socially conservative Congressional husbands enjoy socializing in men's rooms. Mrs. Craig, meet Mrs. Allen. Perhaps they could take tap dancing lessons to learn that mysterious "tapping" that Rob cites in his post below.

Wait...Craigslist isn't Just for Whores?

Via Baltimore Crime:

Extra Needed Sat. 7/28 ASAP for HBO's "The Wire"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: job-383445577@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-07-27, 4:23PM EDT


HBO THE WIRE NEEDS ASAP
FOR SAT. 7/28/07 NON UNION NUDE CORPSES

1 FEMALE 2 MALE- AGE 18-70
$125.00 FOR THE SHOT
PLEASE REPLY WITH A NON NUDE PHOTO, ALL CONTACT NUMBERS. MUST BE AVAILABLE ALL DAY SAT 7/28/07
AND NO PROBLEM WITH PLAYING A NUDE CORPSE.

SHAMOSFISHER@GMAIL.COM
OR CALL 410-558-0400

IF YOU HAVE BEEN ESTABLISHED IN THE WIRE..PLEASE DO NOT REPLY-NEW FACES PLEASE

A few days too late for any Washington-Baltimore area TtP readers. But if you are between 18-70 and would still like to play a nude corpse, it's called Sundays at my house.