Homeless Men Rushing To Gloucester Faster Than You can Say "Have Sex With a Teenager"

Count "I don't want my daughter having sex with a homeless man" as yet one more reason why I will never have a daughter:

As summer vacation begins, 17 girls at Gloucester High School are expecting babies—more than four times the number of pregnancies the 1,200-student school had last year. Some adults dismissed the statistic as a blip. Others blamed hit movies like Juno and Knocked Up for glamorizing young unwed mothers. But principal Joseph Sullivan knows at least part of the reason there's been such a spike in teen pregnancies in this Massachusetts fishing town. School officials started looking into the matter as early as October after an unusual number of girls began filing into the school clinic to find out if they were pregnant. By May, several students had returned multiple times to get pregnancy tests, and on hearing the results, "some girls seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were," Sullivan says. All it took was a few simple questions before nearly half the expecting students, none older than 16, confessed to making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. Then the story got worse. "We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy," the principal says, shaking his head.

Well I guess it depends on who you are as to whether the story got worse or not. If you're the father of this adorable little whore then yes, the story got much worse. However if you are the 24 year old homeless man (who, contrary to rumors is not the same guy as the 24 year old blogger at this site. Really I swear) then the story got a whole lot better.

Full depressing story here.

Like Rob, Homeless Woman Refuses To Give Out Last Name Out of Fear of 'Stigmatized'

This winter Baltimore is attempting to clean up the shanty-towns that have grown up under major overpasses throughout the city. No real news here. I just got a kick out the reaction of this homeless woman: [emphasis mine]

A homeless woman named Donna was the first to depart in one of several vans. She said she had been living under the JFX since July and that she was ready to get out of the cold. She also expressed concern that if she did not leave quickly she would be evicted.

"It looks like they are going to kick us out," said Donna, who declined to give her last name for fear of being stigmatized. "If we choose to live here, we should be allowed to make that choice."

Donna has been living under an overpass since July and she's worried about being stigmatized, by giving out her last name to a reporter? I'm not saying living under the Jones Falls Expressway is entirely her own doing (though let's not kid ourselves, it most likely is), I'm just saying that once you have chosen to live under a highway, maybe you've already decided how you want people to view you as a person...Full article here.

Unkept--Check...Haggard--Check...Hot Model--.......

I've been told on a few occasions that I look like a well-kept homeless man. It doesn't bother me. I think it's a little rude when they don't include the well-kept preface, but, eh -- what can I do about it? Shave? Maybe. Sleep for more than 4 hours a night? Could give it a shot. Cut back on drugs and alcohol? Next. Get a haircut? Whoa. I'm not sure I like the direction this is going...Besides, I like the rugged street man look. It's very unassuming, cheap and simple to maintain. Come to think of it, women do kinda scurry away from me in stairways and alleys...Humm, anyways, according to the Sun Online I should have a supermodel on my arm instead of the tranny heroin addict that is currently there. Sounds good. Where do I need to go to get these women?

Selena has dated her fair share of hunks, but has given up on gorgeous guys because they’re dull – both in and out of bed.

‘I can’t imagine anything more boring than classic handsome looks,’ she says. ‘I prefer no teeth, baldness and piercings to model looks. I like celebs such as Adrien Brody and Mackenzie Crook rather than Brad Pitt.

[...]

And Selena is not alone. In a recent study, sociologist Diane Felmee found only a third of women said looks were the first thing that attracted them to a man. Most preferred a sense of humour or financial and career success.

Researchers at Newcastle University also believe ugly men exist as a way of repairing our gene pool. Women would rather date men with good genes, who can fight disease easily, than a classically beautiful man.

Yeah, I'm all about the ugly women because I find gorgeous women to be boring. How ridiculous does that sound?? I thought so. Full article here.

She has the Gestation Period of an Elephant; Other than that, Her Story Checks Out

I've always had a sneaking suspicion that some of the homeless people I see on the streets could be there out of laziness and sheer unwillingness to act as a functioning adult. I'm not saying that this one case, of some semi-homeless woman who claims to have had a 13-month pregnancy, proves my point or anything, but you can read the story, laugh and form your own opinion.

Nine months after the homeless family slept in a shelter lobby and kept their belongings stuffed in shopping carts, the Couillards seem to be trying hard to still their wandering, to give the girls a place to come home to and teachers who see them every day.

It's a struggle, though.

[...]

They have an apartment, but there's never a good time to show it off.

Lee Couillard said he has a job, but he is spotted at home in the afternoon. The baby that Connie said was due in December never made an appearance.

[...]

The Couillards are among the hardest of cases social workers describe as the chronically homeless.

Connie calls it bad luck. They frequently lose jobs, fall behind on rent and eventually get evicted.

[...]

He [Lee, the husband] smelled of beer and cigarettes as he stood shirtless in the hallway of the Tampa Heights four-plex, where the Couillards pay $700 a month for a two-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment.

His cell phone rang. The Couillards have two cell phones.

"Soon, we'll have cable," Lee said, stepping inside to take the call. The door shut behind him. The place is a mess, he said when he returned to the hall. Connie would kill him if he let anyone in.

Heh. "Chronically Homeless". Maybe it's a disease that we can treat!

Read the full article; my excerpts do no justice for the wonderfully skeptical mood of the piece.