Friday Links

*Unemployment hits 10.2%, but apparently the real unemployment number is over 17% when you factor in people who have taken part-time work in lieu of non-existent full-time jobs, and people who have stopped looking for jobs because...well...I have no fucking clue why you would stop looking for a job when you don't have one.

So I think this underemployed number that the media likes to trot out is stupid. It's stupid because you shouldn't count as unemployed if you are employed. Even part-time. You certainly shouldn't count as unemployed if you're too fucking lazy to look for a job. While I understand that the statistic is called "underemployed" for a reason, it's still too often used by the media as a better judge of the labor market. Personally, I think we should just go Bush-era Homeland Security style, and start using a color coded scale ranging from green (for a great labor market) to red (for a shitty labor market).

*China gets golf. Tiger was sidelined for the last HSBC Championship -- a golf tournament known as the "Asia Major" that takes place in Shanghai every fall -- his return has brought back rabid galleries that were missing last year. With those rabid galleries comes a gazillion little Chinese men that have no fucking clue about golf etiquette. True, this is coming from an American golf fan -- a species of golf fan responsible for the "GET IN THE HOLE!" yell that has now officially zoomed past the douche zone and follows every golf shot on the PGA Tour. Still, the Chinese seem to be a particularly annoying new golf fan base who -- if you can believe this -- won't put down their nosy electronics during golfers swings. As the reporter in the linked story above says:

Most fairways have the feel of the electronics department of the downtown Shanghai Best Buy.

*Lots of whores due to flock to Dallas for NBA All-Star game and the Super Bowl in 2011. Whatever. Same old story that gets rehashed every year. But this is newsworthy -- from the linked Dallas News story -- there's a National Prostitute Diversion Conference. Here's a thought: Do hookers flock every year to take care of the attendees of the National Prostitute Diversion Conference?

*Baltimore Sun engages in actual journalism. Snarky? Yes. Undeserved...probably not. But credit due where credit is earned. The Sun and the Independent are doing an exchange program with their crime reporters. By way of Britain's massive crush on all things The Wire related the Sun's Justin Fenton ad the Independent's Mark Hughes are switching countries for a short time and comparing crime trends. The two papers have set up blogs, updated daily, and the two reporters are filing regular stories for the print editions. It's good stuff. It's the type of interesting journalism that papers like the Sun should be doing more of.

I'm Now an Obamaniac

Links to start your short holiday week.

Rob rejoices -- Obama supports lactating mama porn genre. Or at least that's how I read this Slate article. Read the whole thing, or just skip to the middle where the lactating breasts are.

How's this for a little Baltimore holiday cheer:

Travis Makofski, 28, lived in a first-floor rear apartment with his mother, who was superintendent of the building. About 2:15 a.m., the doorbell rang and the mother went to the front entrance door of the triplex. Two men shoved the door open and one of them placed a gun to her head, police said. Makofski left his apartment and asked the suspects what they were doing, and was shot in the face, police said. He was pronounced dead about an hour later at Maryland Shock Trauma Center.

If you ever needed another reason not to open your door in Baltimore, especially at 2:15 in the AM; a home invasion resulting in your face being shot off seems like as good as any.

1,2,3...4 strikes you're out -- if you're a PG County cop:

A Prince George's County police lieutenant charged four times this year with driving under the influence passed out behind the wheel of a running police cruiser in one incident, had to be Tasered and pepper-sprayed in another and was at fault in a hit-and-run in a third, Laurel Police said yesterday.

In February, an officer found Lt. Kenneth W. Parrish, 44, asleep in the cruiser, its emergency lights on, in front of Laurel High School shortly after noon on a school day, a spokesman for the Laurel police said. Parrish's cruiser was in the road, running and in drive, his foot resting on the brake pedal and his body slumped over the steering wheel, spokesman Jimmy Collins said.

Why all the hand-wringing? The guy had his foot on the brake.

In beheading news from the war down south

Reporting from Mexico City -- Twelve men were decapitated and dumped at separate sites in the southern Mexican state of Guerrero, authorities said Sunday.

Mexican news outlets quoted Guerrero Gov. Zeferino Torreblanca Galindo as saying that eight of the men were identified as Mexican soldiers and another as a former state police commander. Earlier, Mexican media had said that the victims' close-cropped hair indicated they were soldiers.[...]

Beheadings have become increasingly common around Mexico amid rising drug-related violence that has killed more than 5,300 people this year.

President Felipe Calderon launched a crackdown against drug traffickers upon taking office two years ago, triggering clashes between security forces and gunmen and vicious feuding among rival drug gangs.

Simple solution -- A global War on Beheadings. Problem solved.

Monday Afternoon Links

Like most of you, I've had drunken, dirty sex with a fat boss on the weekend and then had to show up for work to face her on a Monday. It's part of life. You can't escape it. And like most of you I wasn't looking forward to seeing her on Monday.

You're not sure what you said to her in bed/shower/bar bathroom but you do know that whatever it was you didn't mean it and you hope that she knows that. You're also not sure if you stuck it up the butt, but you're pretty sure that if you did, she didn't approve. All in all it adds up to a night full of dread on Sunday.

So mentally that's where I'm at today leading into Election '08. Except I'm the one who is about to take it up the ass without my consent....I'll be here with a bottle of something starting around 7 or 8 live-blogging the results. Until then enjoy some Monday election-free links.

Election results pre-Drudge or NYT.com: Wilson beats Hughes, as told by the street lights

Is any country safe from the epidemic? Japan frets over growing marijuana problem

Whoa..Wait. So you mean our drug war is a corrupting influence throughout all of Mexican society and government and leaves no one untouched? Jeesh, it's almost like we should rethink the policy or something...

Putin, baby, you're on the wrong end of this exchange.

Sex Crime Friday Links

Gary Glitter is running out of South East Asian countries to call home. Gee...I wonder why he doesn't want to leave?

Glitter faces detention after refusing to board flight from Thailand

Disgraced former glam rock star demands to be allowed to stay in Thailand after deportation from Vietnam

The disgraced former glam rocker Gary Glitter could find himself behind bars again after refusing to board a flight to London following his deportation from Vietnam after serving a jail sentence for sexually abusing children.

The 64-year-old, whose real name is Paul Gadd, today remained in the transit lounge of Bangkok airport, where he had been due to change planes, but will be transferred to a detention centre if he continues to thwart efforts to send him back to the UK

Could Glitter be anymore obvious about wanting to have sex with little asian children? At least try to pretend like you aren't so eager to stay in countries that are pretty much only known for being an easy place to score pre-teen tail. Instead of trying to only go to Cambodia, Singapore and Thailand after being expelled from Vietnam after Gary already served a prison sentence for molesting 2 little girls; he should throw in at least one country that isn't noted for its pedophilia tourism. I dunno, like a Canada. Or Iceland.

Why you never trust ice cream truck drivers or men who coach sports teams who don't have a kid on the team -- Ice cream man pleads guilty to sex crimes:

There are disturbing new details about a man who pleaded guilty to a sex crime. According to an arrest report, back in March, an ice cream truck driver lured a mentally challenged 16-year-old boy with the promise of free ice cream.

Detectives say that's when Ibrahim Alsmadi touched the teen and forced the teen to touch him. Last week, Alsmadi pleaded guilty to open or gross lewdness. He still would've been selling ice cream to kids had city leaders not stepped in.

Not really a sex crime..But it's a crime in Dubai and it involves sex. Close enough.

A BUSINESSMAN accused of having sex on a Dubai beach with a fellow Brit claims they were only kissing.

Father-of-one, Vince Acors, 34, of Homesdale Road, Bromley, appeared before Dubai's Court of First Instance last Tuesday with sales rep Michelle Palmer, 36, in a hearing brought forward from August 21 to avoid intense media attention. Police allegedly caught the pair having sex on Jumeirah Open Beach, on July 5 this year and charged them with having an illicit affair, performing an indecent act in public and consuming alcohol.

The duo face up to six years in jail in the Islamic city if found guilty.

Yet one more reason why I will never step foot in Dubai. No booze, no sex and no drugs. Sounds like a great time.

Quick Hits

News for this Monday (for me at least) afternoon:

It couldn't have been Applebees? or Ruby Tuesdays for that matter? Bennigans -- which used to be the only casual dining chain to have draught Guinness -- files for Chapter 7, as all of its company owned stores abruptly locked their doors for good today. Here's the man-on-the-street take:

Given the state of the economy, customer Bob Perkins said such mass-shutdowns as these are to be expected.

"The cost of food is just too high, and it's all related, with gas prices and the economy itself," Perkins said. "Until somebody takes a stand and does something, you're going to keep seeing this."

Ah yes. I remember reading in school about the Great Depression and all the faux-Irish Pubs that closed. I think -- but don't quote me on this, I'm only a historian if you count watching vintage porn as being a historian -- that similar closings of casual dining eateries is what caused the bread lines during the Depression. Or something like that.....Oooh, look at that muff!

Really? I somehow missed this until I saw it on Drudge. Pregnant Prostitutes to Face Charges. My post title from the other day was eerily prophetic....Or was it?

Nascar dads, soccer moms, now active grannies. Just one more electorate grouping for Baby Boomers who apparently are the only ones who decide every election in my lifetime.

And finally, but most importantly, Ted Stevens is indicted on 7 criminal charges. Yay!

Monday Morning Links

Yes we still blog! Now, on to the links...

Definition of rape widened in Maryland.

The state's highest court ruled yesterday that a man can be charged with rape if he ignores a woman's calls to stop - even if she had previously consented to sex.

With this expansion of the legal definition of rape, Maryland joins seven other states whose courts have determined that a woman can revoke her consent after intercourse begins.

Further down in the article we find the world's greatest pick-up line, guaranteed to get you into the pants of women everywhere:

First, Wilson had sex with the woman while Baby was outside the car. Then, police said, Baby told her it was his turn.

"[So] are you going to let me hit it?" he said, according to police. "I don't want to rape you."

You won't see that line in Picking Up Women for Dummies.

Gangs push back against police in the Southwestern district of Baltimore:

For months, police in the Southwestern District have focused on dangerous gangs, using aggressive tactics to engage suspected offenders displaying gang colors and signs.

And, police say, frustrated gang members and criminals seem to be pushing back. In six weeks, three officers have either been shot or shot at, including Tuesday's gun battle near a city school that left an officer and suspected gang member seriously wounded.

Yesterday around 9:30 a.m., blocks from a city school, more gunfire erupted, leaving a 15-year-old shot in the head, which forced authorities to lock down two schools, one of them for the second consecutive day.

South Carolina parents report son to police after suspicious delivery:

Eighteen-year-old Ryan Schallenberger was arrested over the weekend. His parents called police after 10 pounds of ammonium nitrate was delivered to their home. They also found a disturbing journal, which police say spelled out his plans for a suicide attack, and included maps of the school.

Yeah, that may set of a few alarm bells.

Is the pain over yet? Bank of America reports a 77% drop in income. Earnings per share drop to .23 cents, missing expectations.

If you find yourself stopped by police in Central Park at 4:30 am with a bag of meth in your pocket and a rope tied to your neck and scrotum; word of advice: Don't tell them that you have meth in your pocket.

Congrats to TtP's favorite governor on her newborn baby. It's hard I know, but all good things must end. Goodbye hot pregnant governor.

Friday Links

So my rapidly expanding mid-section is a life saver...Excellent! More meat for me!

New weapon in the arsenal of drug warriors: Your dope may have shit and pubic hair on it.

US Postal Service defends $13,500 dinner at Ruth Chris, provides all of us with a great joke in the process:

McKiernan said the dinner was intended to help woo corporate clients of the U.S. Postal Service, which competes with carriers such as UPS and FedEx for business. "It was just the opinion of the GAO that the cost was excessive," he said.

"Competes" insinuates that they are in the same league with FedEx and UPS, that people sometimes choose the Postal Service, when given the choice. Never happens. On the other hand customers will always ask to have their purchased product sent via Fed Ex or UPS on their own dime. Postal Service blows.

Bad news from the street.

Pre-Lunch Links

Zimbabwe update.

Who knew fax machines were such an important component of diplomatic relations on the Korean Peninsula?

Meanwhile, South Korea's Defense Ministry sent a fax message to the North Korean military asking it to stop trying to rile its neighbor. The North's moves came after the South's top military officer said last week the country could strike suspected North Korean nuclear targets if there were signs of an imminent atomic attack.

Meanwhile South Korea also complained that North Korea "never sends confirmation of receipt" of their faxes, and always "claims that the fax never went through, even when we (South Korea) have a confirmation on our end".

That's so 1995 Koreas. Word is, South Korea would have sent an email to North Korea's Hot Mail account, but their e-mails always get marked as spam so it is faxes or ICQ messages for the neighboring country.

Sen. Jim DeMint makes a lot of sense when he says the tax-code makes no sense:

[...]a change in the American tax code two years ago that has raised considerably the tax burden facing many American expatriates - and which, in turn, often makes it more expensive for U.S. companies operating abroad to keep Americans on their payrolls.

"It makes absolutely no sense," said Senator Jim DeMint, Republican of South Carolina, of a system that makes the United States the sole developed country to tax income earned by its citizens abroad.

He is sponsoring legislation to remove the limit - currently $82,400 - on the amount of foreign-earned income exempt from taxation.

I've come to like Jim DeMint much more than I thought I would when he was running for Fritz Hollings's open Senate seat in 2004. I happened to be living in South Carolina at that time and was forced to listen to him say relatively (for the state he was running in) crazy things during a tight race like, "gays and unmarried woman shouldn't be allowed to be school teachers". In fairness to him he said even crazier things like "I will work to get rid of the IRS". He hasn't accomplished that goal, but I'd give him 2 out of 5 stars for his efforts against excessive government spending and taxation. That's practically an A+ in the Senate.

Best Buy beats expectations in the 4th quarter, and helps to confirm what the mall parking lot has been telling me for some time.

April 2 (Bloomberg) -- Best Buy Co., the largest U.S. electronics retailer, said fourth-quarter profit fell less than analysts estimated as the company sold more higher-priced items including laptops and video-game consoles.

'Cause you know, X-boxes, VIAOS and Mac Books are important things to have during an economic depression.

Friday Links

After a long hiatus Friday links return, slightly directionless, and as useless as ever. On to the links!

It's not just a shitty game show with Howie Mandel any more, it's also now a fact of life in America. 1 out of 100 Americans now resides in prison. We need more reactions like this:

Some Maryland lawmakers said they hope the report will spur reforms in drug-sentencing laws.

"We've been pounding the governor and chairmen of committees with this information for almost five years," said Del. Curtis Anderson, a Baltimore Democrat who has sponsored several bills that would lower maximum sentences for nonviolent drug offenses. "The fact that somebody else is saying it and it's a national report might help us wake them up to this issue."

Probably not. It makes headlines for a week or so then everyone goes back to their previous mindsets that allows them to be OK with living in a country with a higher incarceration then a place that is so evil that I can't even visit the place, let alone buy their cigars.

Mayor of a California town found passed out on the sidewalk next to his car and a pool of vomit. No word yet on whether alcohol was involved or not.

Shocking news out of New Zealand. Man admits to "attempting" to fuck a sheep. From the article:

Sergeant Lisa Goodson said the man admitted taking the goat to the back of the property, attempting to have sex with it before doing up his trousers, patting the goat and walking away. "He was contrite but said he was unable to stop the behaviour," said Goodson

If I'm at the point where my pants are down, the sheep is in the ready position and my cock is out, I complete the job. Clearly you've come this far -- would you feel better about yourself if you stopped at that point? Like you have such a strong moral fiber to keep yourself from actually sticking it in, but not from taking off your pants and preparing the sheep? I don't get it...

Study: Fertile married women dig single men. From the piece:

Given these realities, one strategy for a female is to develop a long-term relationship with a lower-quality male while secretly breeding with single high-quality males. The only problem then is getting caught. Long-term partners will often attack an adulterous female in the animal world. In humans, the penalties can be equally stiff.

I like that term, "high-quality male". So all it takes is a tryst or two with a married woman and I'm considered "high-quality". Good, I have a new line for this weekend.

Michelle Obama comforts lower-middle class women in Ohio, by telling them that she spends $10,000 on piano and dance lessons, along with a lot of other worthless and pretentious shit that her kids don't really need. Byron York in NRO:

But not everyone has a close relative living nearby. And not everyone can afford to keep it all together, especially here in Muskingum County, where, according to the census, the median household income in 2004 was $37,192, below both the Ohio and national average. Out of that, there’s the mortgage. And child care. Health care. Education. Lessons. “I know we’re spending — I added it up for the first time — we spend between the two kids, on extracurriculars outside the classroom, we’re spending about $10,000 a year on piano and dance and sports supplements and so on and so forth,” Mrs. Obama tells the women. “And summer programs. That’s the other huge cost. Barack is saying, ‘Whyyyyyy are we spending that?’ And I’m saying, ‘Do you know what summer camp costs?’”

With all those concerns, one might wonder whether the women should be comforting Mrs. Obama, but she assures them that she’s really O.K. “We don’t complain because we’ve got resources because of our education. We’ve got family structure,” she says. “So I tell people don’t cry for me.”

Yeah, wipe those tears off your faces folks. The Obamas are going to make it after all...

Congress threatens a Federal drug testing law for all professional sports. Voters who gave the Democrats a majority in Congress collectively shrug and say, "I'm sure this is connected to getting out of Iraq. Really, its gotta be. Any time now. I can feel it. Troops are coming home. You just watch Harry Reid do his thing."

Google Keywords of the Day

It what is continuing to be a TtP holiday feature, I'm proud to bring back our Google Keywords of the Day as selected by Rob. For a twist on this -- the blogging equivalent of a lazy, sitcom clip-show -- I've decided to choose the searches that might have led the particular reader(s) to an answer to their (mostly sexual) question, or a solution to their (mostly sexual) problem. As always, the search keyword is followed by the TtP page reached. Enjoy!

• pube free men ---Answer: Brazilian Wax for Men
  
• i have a pregnancy fetish --- Solution: Alcohol Label
  
• best street for prostitute in baltimore --- Answer: Prostitution Label
  
• why make a sex tape? --- Answer: Sometimes Making a Sex Tape is Not Such a Good Idea
  
• not showering --- Answer: I'm Not Showering Any More
  

And the winner, for -- "Keyword That I Need to Do Something About Before the Feds Break Down My Door".........

• hot 12 yr. olds --- Rob Label
  

Friday Links

Don't forget to celebrate the birthday of one of history's great drunkards, Edgar Allan Poe. Metromix gives you a few local bars to toast the man in, some with a connection to the write, some not. Off the list, I'd go with Maggie Moore's and/or The Horse You Came In On. The Horse is supposed to be where Poe had his last drink, before dying in a Baltimore alley. I've never seen his ghost there, but it does usually have a healthy selection of desperate older women on the prowl most nights.

Bobby Fischer dies.

Golf Magazine tries to calm down the Tiger racial controversy by putting a noose on their most recent cover. Ask the editor how that worked out for him. Just don't use his Golf Magazine e-mail to do that, because he no longer works there.

Preview of the Jones-Trinidad fight this Saturday.

Mark Wahlberg promises to do his best Johnny Depp impression, and will star in the Hollywood version of the (pretty good) Cocaine Cowboys documentary.

Surprise, surprise.

HUNTINGTON PARK, Calif.—A police officer who was on a federal drug task force has been arrested on suspicion he conspired to sell cocaine and marijuana he stole from drug dealers, officials said.

Huntington Park Police Sgt. Alvaro Murillo, 44, of West Covina, is accused of using his job to recruit informants in the drug world, then using them to help him steal narcotics. He then allegedly made arrangements to sell the drugs.

Weekend Links

* Man sues the Yankees for "fraud" based on the alleged use of performance enhancing drugs. The amount he's suing for? $221. I think I've spent that on beer at a baseball game before. If I was going to sue the not-so-strapped-for-cash Yankees, I'd go for at least 8 digits. By the way, good luck proving that case.

* In Pennsylvania, a man was charged with disorderly conduct for writing "fuck" on the memo line of a check used to pay a parking ticket fine. The article claims the charges were filed because the comment was obscene. And, upon the charges being dropped, the police chief is quoted as saying "He was contrite enough to offer an apology, and I think that satisfies the people who were insulted by it". Is insulting someone grounds for a lawsuit? The article doesn't say. The Bill of Rights does.

* Dog damn nearly gets hit by lightning.

* One more reason to love YouTube: Amateur blues guitar.

Drug Inspired Friday Links

Cigarettes, pot, crack, and coffee. What more could you want in one cafe?

Bound to make your skin crawl and your temper flare. Prepare yourself for a DEA reality show coming to Spike TV this year. From producer Al Roker:

Television viewers will get the same unprecedented access to the inner workings of the DEA as our camera crews – the raids, the risks and the danger," said the show's executive producer, Al Roker. "This series is the real deal, exposing elements of the illegal drug trade that you could not imagine. When you watch DEA, you will feel like you have gone undercover."

"Exposing elements of the drug trade that you could not imagine." No, I can pretty easily imagine what they are going to show. I'm guessing it will be nothing like Traffik, and completely like Dallas Swat.

Don't worry Amy; they make me give DNA samples just to enter other countries. Or I think they do...Come to think of it, that "nurse" under the stairs at BWI Airport did kind of look like a homeless troll. Not a "Government Testing Official" like his name tag read...I really didn't think a stool test was necessary for trip to Europe.

Let's wrap this post up with some typically dramatic drug stories from the British press. 1) A user who suffers a heart attack from meth sues her dealer.

“I have gotten sober. I think that’s taking responsibility for my actions. I don’t think I should have to take responsibility for both of our actions. I think he should meet me half way. That’s what this lawsuit is about,” she said.

2) Pot puts 500 a week in hospital.

Doctors say cannabis abuse can contribute to mental health problems including forms of psychosis, paranoia and schizophrenia. There can be harmful physical side-effects, disrupting blood pressure and exacerbating heart and circulation disorders.

Oooooooo scary....

Thursday Links

I know its primary season....but shouldn't we be hearing more about this?

Afghanistan tires of younger brother Iraq getting all the attention and says, "What about our country? You know the one you invaded first." Welcomes a US plan that would boost the American military contingent to 30,000 troops.

I love Tiger Woods. The world's greatest golfer, of all times, and a special kind of classy. I'd like to sit down for a burger and beers with him and his wife. Mostly his wife.

He found himself in a situation that he could have allowed to explode into another Don Imus moment. What did he do? Well, he didn't overreact and instead worked to defuse a situation that everyone knew was an unfortunate slip of the tongue when Gold Channel announcer (Kelly Tilghman) jokingly said that the world's top young golfers should, "Lynch him in a back alley". It sounds bad, I know. God, that sounds bad. But in context, it really wasn't. Sometimes people just say stupid things without any meaning behind them. She apologized directly to Tiger after the tournament coverage, and he accepted, saying publicly that the matter was closed, and that he considers Kelly a friend. Still, though I don't need to defend her choice of words, because it has nothing to with me. Right Reverend Al? Nothing to do with me....or you at all.

Before her suspension was announced, Sharpton spoke earlier on CNN's "Prime News" and continued to push for her firing, saying he wanted to meet with Golf Channel because the comments were "an insult to all blacks."

Go away, and leave us all alone. Please.

And finally, Tim Cavanaugh has the must-read piece on Ron Paul's newsletters. Read it.

Ben's Friday Links

Pakistan is disintegrating in the aftermath of the assassination of Bhutto. The Washington Post

Kenyans go to the polls. Financial Times

Paul Krugman displays his grasp of simple economics on why trade with developing world hurts the U.S. economy, but in a free-market sort of way. The New York Times

Ethiopia and Eritrea are close to fighting another war, again. UN News

The MLS SuperDraft in Baltimore is quickly approaching, here is a look at the top defensive prospects. Soccernet

Friday Links

It's back! Full of drugs, it's the Friday links..

A classic Robert Redford movie I caught during solid AMC programming over Thanksgiving. Especially with what they have been showing lately.

Obama tells kids: "Fun is bad." Naturally, everyone takes notice.

Amy Winehouse might want to find a new sponsor.

Doherty helps Winehouse quit drugs
Amy Winehouse speaks to Pete Doherty every day in a bid to help her quit drugs.

More here.

On the lighter side...

Murder rate is at its lowest level ever in New York.

John Howard involved in a tight race in Australia.

I agree. It doesn't matter what she is saying, I take her side in any disagreements. If she wants her job back, give it to her. Same with money. She can't be wrong.

The French railroad workers go back to work. Or everyone thinks they do...It can be tough to tell...

Scary.

SIXTH-FORMERS at a top school were tested for drugs on Monday using a super-sensitive detection device.

Slough Grammar principal Margaret Lenton arranged the checks in a bid to reinforce the school's strict anti-drugs policy.

The tests were conducted at the Lascelles Road school using a drugs itemiser machine which can detect the tiniest traces of drugs on the palm of people's hands.

Read the full article.

Weekend Reading

India's strengthening Rupee hurting the export sector. Washington Post

Glasgow to host 2014 Games Commonwealth Games. BBC

Rough week for the global markets and things aren't looking any brighter. Financial Times

Rising street prices for drugs leads U.S. government to believe they are winning the war. LA Times

Tony Blair can't charm the Chinese. Guardian Unlimited

Oil discovery in Brazil could make it one of the world's largest producers. CNN

Quick Hits

Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington continue the pattern from last year and are releasing three free podcasts before the end of the year. First one was out yesterday on iTunes.

Westboro Church ordered to pay 10.9 million in damages to family of dead Marine.

One-legged wonder Heather Mills has lost more than her balance.

I'm out of pocket in Seattle for the next week. Excuse the light posting over the next week. I've got some co-bloggers around here somewhere...

Around the Papers

Yikes. Detailing the economic impact of the impending writers strike. It's not pretty for LA County.

Looks like someone may be getting a kidney back. Here's hoping it works out for my favorite Socialist mayoral candidate.

Massive protest (or as the organizers were calling it, a "lie-in") fails to be massive. Organizers had planned to match the total number of murder victims (246ish) with live protesters lying down on the ground wearing "No More Murders." Unfortunately no one seemed to care and only about 175 total showed up, including not one elected official. Here are the organizers on the seeming irony of the situation. The Baltimore Sun:

"Apathy, alienation and cynicism have taken root in our community - But we believe that these weeds can be removed before they spread further," reads the Web site for Justice Maryland, the group that planned the event.

Asked whether yesterday's attendance shortfall was evidence of the very issue she was trying to combat, Kimberly Haven, executive director of Justice Maryland, said, "We don't know why people didn't come.

Ahhh. That's right, we just need to believe. Is it possible to believe that I could be even more cynical?...

Friday Links

No jokes here. 18 year old arrested for the rapes of two Baltimore women, ages 88 and 73. The 88-year old is also a cancer patient. With youth like this, how could one be pessimistic about the future of our fine city. Remember folks, just Believe!

I betcha this Anne Arundel County (MD) judge knows how to have some fun.

But Anne Arundel County Circuit Judge Paul Harris, in a decision that has victims' rights advocates crying foul, acquitted the man charged with second-degree assault after he was accused of striking his girlfriend three times in the face. The judge said that without the woman's testimony, he could not be sure that she hadn't consented to the attack

[...]

And in a comment that has riled victims' advocates and prosecutors, Harris added, "You have very rare cases; sadomasochists sometimes like to get beat up."

Cameras no longer enough to police the mean streets of London. Say hello to street level listening devices, intended to "infiltrate gangs of youth."

I really don't like David Brooks. Never have -- but now I've developed the nearly unstoppable urge to face-fuck the douche, in his itsy-bitsy mouth, while he's wearing his overtly homosexual turtle-rimmed glasses. Is it just me? From today's Brooks column on the chances of a Huckabee win. I know, I know, I too was guessing he was talking about checkers, or some game involving guessing the number of jellybeans in a jar, because obviously he couldn't be talking about any type of electoral win, whether it be in Iowa or any other state. I was wrong.

[....]Second, each of the top-tier candidates makes certain parts of the party uncomfortable. Huckabee is the one candidate acceptable to all factions.

Third, Huckabee is the most normal person running for president (a trait that might come in handy in a race against Hillary Clinton). He is funny and engaging — almost impossible not to like. He has no history of flip-flopping in order to be electable. He doesn’t seem to be visibly calculating every gesture. Far from being narcissistic, he is, if anything, too neighborly to seem presidential.

Whoa. I should have saved this for a separate post, but quickly -- First, "Huckabee is the one candidate acceptable to all factions". Huh? That GOP tent has gotten so big that they had to push us libertarian leaning, limited government types out of the tent to make room for all those compassionate, social conservatives. Enjoy the circle jerk fellas. [I've made substantive arguments against Huckabee, just click through the Huckabee tag] As for this line, "Huckabee is the most normal person running for president." Do I need to reiterate that this is the guy who said it his religious beliefs are not important to the question of whether he could or should be president? Even if his religious beliefs claim that the earth was created 3,000 years ago, and that evolution is just a silly guess made by some guy named Darwin. Or that kids in elementary schools should be weighed by the state. If this is the "most normal person running for president" then we have some serious issues as an electorate.

Last, but certainly not least, one of the last two brewpubs in Baltimore -- and the closest one to me -- is looking to leave the city. It's part of a disturbing trend that has brewpubs fleeing high-rent, urban areas for the spacious suburbs. I'll end it with my quote of the week, from the above article:

"It's sort of like the melting of the ice caps," said Dominic Cantalupo, a 46-year-old Catonsville resident and president of the Chesapeake Bay branch of the Society for the Preservation of Beers from the Wood. The society promotes beer brewed with traditional methods.

Weekend International Reading

John Locke’s assertion of life, liberty and property, well at least property to be essential for rising incomes. World Bank

Oil hits $90 a barrel because of weak dollar. BBC

Romney shows he knows nothing about the U.S. role in the United Nations. MSNBC

Les divorce du Sarkozy et l’impact politique. Le Monde

Pakistan recovers from suicide attacks during Bhutto’s arrival. New York Times

Sunday Reading

Your favorite football squad having a rough day? Its ok, I have some compelling international reading for you! These stories are sure to clear your gray skies!

Angola’s oil wealth is not improving the lives of its poorest citizens. New York Times

Israel claims their attack on Syria was to disrupt a nascent nuclear program. International Herald Tribune

SPLM withdraws from Sudan’s Unity Government, heightening fears of a renewed North-South Civil War. UN News

Pakistan is the premiere training ground for international terrorists. Los Angles Times

Now don’t you feel a little bit better?

Weekend International Links

In attempt to broaden the appeal of To The People I have decided to post a story from the erudite USA Today. It looks as if President Musharraf will retain power in Pakistan pending final election results and a Supreme Court ruling.

China becomes the land of opportunity for Chadian citizens to dream about. The Washington Post

German Chancellor Merkel endorses 2010 World Cup preparations in South Africa. The Mail & Guardian

The Orange Bloc, lead by minx Yulia Tymoshenko, has gained control of the Ukrainian Parliament. The BBC

Mexican authorities seized 10 Tons of cocaine in Tampico. The LA Times

Whoopi Suggests 3-Way with House Speaker and Husband; The View Gets Attention, I Get a Boner

I don't even know why I just wrote that. Maybe because there's nothing out there for a perverted blogger to blog on. I'm desperate. Really, it's bad out there right now. I mean, I'm making Whoopi Goldberg jokes. In 2007. Not even very good ones. And the story involves Barbara Walters, and The View. I'd be more current if I was making fun of MC Hammer. Or Chrystal Pepsi.

Since I have nothing else for you guys, I'll throw some links out there that have been building up in Rob's link que.

Newsflash: Government workers waste taxpayers' money on extravagant travel.

Baltimore City officials pin their hopes on something that hasn't happened in decades...A population increase. Even if it is just a 900 person gain.

Some not-so-good news from Afghanistan.

Clarence Thomas links from NRO and Richard Minter.

For the 300th time in the last 3 months, the ONDCP touts the current cocaine crunch in the US as a good thing. Claims War on Drugs is having "the best results in 20 years."

Asian gangs in the UK are using child slaves to run their cannabis production centers. I'd imagine a lot of growing and packaging. As the Drug Czar's blog says.."Marijuana: Harmless?" Well, when you put it that way...If only we'd ban the damn substance...

Happy Hour Link Edition

Let's dive right into them....

Massachusetts slowly marching on a path of soft paternalism to banning smoking in homes. Globe reports:

"For a lot of people now, they go to their workplace, and the workplace is smoke-free, and then they go home and they realize they're being exposed to secondhand smoke," said Eileen Sullivan, director of policy and planning for the state of Massachusetts Tobacco Control Program.

[...]

A leader of the Massachusetts Rental Housing Association, a trade group, Hebert enthusiastically endorsed the prospect of a registry listing smoke-free apartments in Massachusetts.

"There are still people who smoke; they have to live somewhere," Hebert said. "But if I'm a nonsmoker and I detest smoking and the person next door is smoking like a chimney, why should I have to put up with it?"

But there's no slippery slope involved with smoking bans...None at all...

The benched US Women's goalkeeper Hope Solo tore into her coach and replacement goalkeeper in the Brazil game, Brianna Scurry, saying "I would have made those saves", and much more. Video of it when you click through the first link. Should Solo have kept her mouth shut? Maybe. Probably. But this was such a boneheaded move by her coach that I can understand her reaction. In a way she earned it. And correction from my previous post. She had a scoreless streak of over 300 minutes. Not bad.

DEA shut down, and arrest the owners of yet another pot-candy/food company. Classic quote from a DEA agent:

"These items could have harmful effects on a user, especially the unsuspecting ones," DEA agent Javier Pena said. "We will continue to shut down these production lines, one marijuana-candy factory at a time."

I don't think you can read much into this article on increased marijuana farming in Afghanistan. I think they are still doing their part for the global heroin supply, but this paragraph made me chuckle:

But around the ancient citadel of Balkh, in fields where pink poppy flowers stood last year, jagged green marijuana stalks poke above other crops and in places whole cannabis fields produce a pungent aroma strong enough to be picked by passing motorists.

The farmers are still cautious. "They are not my fields," said Shamseddin, surrounded by head-high cannabis plants in full flower. "I don't know who they belong to," he said, dropping a sickle to the ground and nudging it away with his foot

That image makes me laugh every time.

Enjoy the weekend, we'll do our best to make the work on the site go as smoothly as possible.

Friday Links

The next GOP debate will be held in Baltimore, at Morgan State, and will address minority issues. That is if they can actually get any of the legitamite GOP candidates to actually show up. Here's looking forward to a Paul, Hunter, Tancredo debate come Sept 27th!

Who thinks Marylanders don't pay enough taxes? Governor O'Malley, that's who.

Stadium cleaners get what they want, and will be part of the $11.30 living wage bill in Maryland. People who pick up trash for 81 days a year now coming dangerously close to my salary...

The story that I couldn't escape on my last trip abroad takes a predictable, but yet interesting twist, as the British parents of the missing Madeleine McCann are officially named suspects by the Portuguese officials.

Teacher facing 105 years in prison after being convicted of having sex with students in a motel, behind a restaurant and in a park.

Speaking of rape (what a segway), I heard this piece of advice around the worst selection of donuts I've ever seen in the office lunchroom. A middle-age mom telling another middle-age mom--"I tell my daughter, if you have to drink, get shots, that way no one can slip anything in your drink." Brilliant! We -- and by we I mean Cicero and Rob -- need more mothers out there telling their college age daughters to get fucked up and to get fucked up quicker. I love irrational fear!

Friday Links

American Cancer Society stops looking for cure to cancer. Would rather throw more office parties instead.

EZ Passes are easy. But if you're fucking your secretary in a seedy motel off the Jersey Turnpike, or just disposing of your dead husband's body, maybe you should just pay the toll in cash. No receipt.

This can't be good for iTunes.

Horrors! The scourge of underage drinking.

Late Afternoon Friday Links

Retrosexual? Or just homosexual?

Measuring 6 feet 3, with chiseled pecs and a bushy beard, George seemed like a model of manliness. Yet two years ago the 47-year-old Virginia businessman (who declined to give his full name to protect his privacy) decided he didn't look quite macho enough. So he went to see Dr. Jeffrey Epstein, a Miami hair-restoration surgeon, to have 3,000 hair follicles ripped from his scalp and transplanted into his face, chest and belly.

Amy Winehouse might have a drug and weight problem. In other shocking news; I like pot and I'm going to try and bone my female roommate tonight.

Depending on which count you go by, Baltimore has surpassed 200 murders for 2007. Baltimore Crime has 204 (although they note it is not definitive), Murder Ink has it at 198 (once you add the 2 murders since the 15th). Who knows what the Sun has it at; I couldn't find a count anywhere on their site.

Finally, a reminder for any TtPers in the Seattle area. Hempfest is this weekend. The Seattle PI has a glowing profile of Rick Steves, who is a outspoken critic of US drug policy, and is speaking at Hempfest. From the piece:

Off camera and off mike, so many people who interview Steves on radio and TV whisper "Right on!" to him but only a few celebrities and high-profilers risk saying it out loud. "We're embracing a lie in a country based on truth and freedom," Steves said. "And it hurts the credibility of parents and teachers and the police. If I were a kid, I wouldn't listen to any of them."

Around the Horn

Nevermind that inflatable armbands can save young swimmers' lives. They can lead to a case of the sniffles and so must be banned!

A Dartmouth professor's really cool web page devoted to exploring the history of digital tampering. (Via AJR.)

Chris Reed thinks fiscal conservatives can work with nanny staters. Strangely, I agree.

Disney, a longtime smoker, will quit, but only when it feels like it.

During Clay Aiken's recent appearance on her show, Tyra Banks really did refer to herself as a "Clayfrican American" and described Asian American fans of Aiken as "Claysians". Admittedly -- and I'm not too proud to admit it -- I actually saw this.

Around the Horn (Actual Baseball Content Edition)

Everyone wants a secret lair, but this guy had it. [LAT]

Battle over placenta ends after birth. [WTOP]

Hunk of metal from woodchipper, not UFO. [Philly]

Chuck Klosterman, looking like a bearded Bill Gates circa 1977, apparently came to DC recently. [Washingtonian]

Red Sox dud Wily Mo Pena has broken the heart of Manny many. [Boston Herald]

Who sported the best baseball fro ever? [Bugs and Cranks]

Around the Horn

Singer Bobby Brown worried Osama will off him in Oz. [Herald Sun]

Paper sets up John Edwards to get offed, or to kill woman by driving drunk off pier and then have head gradually triple in size. [Chicago Tribune]

He's not the head of Al Qaeda in Iraq, though he does play him on TV. [Herald Sun]

The Police rock Rock City. I'm seeing them tomorrow night Philadelphia. [Detroit News]

Speaking of Philly... "Soon no one in Philadelphia will be safe from the 15 or so people who are strongly against foie gras." [Philadelphia Will Do]

Around the Horn

Avoid Scranton, SC (population 932) like the plague. In a little over a month, the new police chief "has written 400 tickets and arrested 17 people," all while claiming that "the general public’s disrespect for law enforcement officers truly annoys him." [SCNow]

Taras Grescoe is a self-described former libertarian and author of the pretty good food travelogue The Devil's Picnic, in which he eats all sorts of risky and illegal foods around the world. Grescoe, a Canadian, wants to remove the risk from our lives, though, via a stronger and better-funded FDA. [NYT]

A few of the dumber remnants of Massachusetts's Blue Laws. [Boston Globe]

This brings back memories of the worst meal I've ever eaten (at a Lebanese joint on Paris's Left Bank in 1994). [The Age]

One cool obit. [Seattle PI]

Friday Links

I've just spent the last 2 days shitting, vomiting, and whimpering in the fetal position as I've done my best to overcome the effects of reduced-sale oysters from Wal-Mart. Oysters....From Wal-Mart? They were like 15 for $4...Try getting that deal at a market or any raw bar.

Enough of my complaining, on to the links!

No set up needed for this story:[emphasis mine]

PALMETTO -- A 63-year-old man who authorities say twice pushed his entire arm into a horse's vaginal cavity was jailed Tuesday on a felony-level animal cruelty charge.

Manatee County sheriff's deputies said the man, Bradenton resident Leslie M. Gee, who is not a veterinarian, caused "unnecessary pain and suffering" to the horse, a bay mare named Bella, stabled in the 2500 block of 29th Street East in Palmetto.

Palmetto, Florida....In case you were unsure..

David Beckham has arrived; did you miss the coverage? Hopefully he can squeeze a game or two in between all those steamy photo shoots and interviews...

The folks at Bureaucrash had some fun with the "Yes Men" outside of the Cato Institute. Check the video out.

McCain actually has less cash on hand than previously reported. How about a paltry $250,000 after you subtract the $1.75 mill in debt that the campaign currently holds.

It's stories like this, and days without cicero that make me feel alone and shamed at TtP:

HAGERSTOWN, Md. (AP) - A former Ku Klux Klan leader sexually assaulted his 15-year-old adopted sister to punish her for sloppy housekeeping and rowdy behavior, the girl testified in court Thursday.

Around the Horn (Sort of Sports-Centric Edition)

China's popular baozi steamed buns are 60% cardboard.

Keith Hernandez: Best. Mustache. Ever.

Real cop busts fake cop who tried to bust real cop.

SI.com writer Ian Thomsen's weird but earnest correction of his NBA draft piece featuring a fake P. Diddy quote relayed by the agent of Toronto Raptors' draft pick Giorgos Printezis of Greece, who traveled to the NBA draft last month in New York City by rickshaw. Naturally, Printezis's journey is recounted on a rickshaw blog.

Chopping down a tree while drunk may be the most provincial crime ever.

Hugo Chavez's bullshit comes to bear on Venezuela's stock market.

Sticks and stones. Seinfeld alum Michael Richards has retreated to Cambodia, while golfing legend Nick Faldo becomes "the first announcer since the Don Imus imbroglio to successfully use the word 'nappy' on a live broadcast."

Friday links

The WaPo publishes a predictably anti-Giuliani piece....But did they really have jerk off Bloomberg this hard? I have to add -- and you'll notice this if you read the piece -- what voters, and in what election will they defect from Giuliani to Bloomberg? The article makes some huge, and in my opinion, wrong assumptions...

"The government tells us about not smoking and safe sex," he says. "Why not handshaking?" Hummm....Good point.

What's the over/under for Pakistan remaining a fairly stable, military dictatorship?

McCain bails on Florida. Does anyone believe he will still remain in the race come primary time?

Monday Thursday Morning Afternoon Reading

Hope everyone had a wonderful 4th, I sure did. Squeezed a full round of golf in before the rain started and then it held off enough to get the meat on the grill. Could have used today off....But when you are making the big, non-profit bucks there are certain expectations of you....

Controversy abound over replacing the H.L. Mencken statue in Union Square. The Sun provides this quote from Mencken as his response to the bickering over his memorial.

"If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl."

Done and Done.

Beer shakes and the power of wine.

Now this is just stupid. God, what a wonderful time we live in where people have the time and energy to spare on advocacy like this:

Tina Patael of Baltimore plans to wake up bright and early today, buckle a dog collar around her neck, go outside and chain herself to a doghouse for six hours.

Ninety-eight people in 31 other states will be doing the same on and around Independence Day as part of "Unchain the 50," an event sponsored by Dogs Deserve Better, a non-profit animal rights organization fighting to toughen laws against keeping dogs chained for long periods.

Dogs Deserve Better has held its annual "Chain Off" around the July 4 holiday for the last 5 years in order to raise awareness about dogs who are kept chained or penned for long periods, sometimes their entire lives.

Go to the Dogs Deserve Better website, where you are immediately greeted by their celebrity spokesman...Officer Romano from TJ Hooker. He informs us: "The only chain Cubby has is attached to my heart." Well...That's not too queer. The big question remains, what is more revolting...Thinking about how much peanut butter Officer Romano goes through on a monthly basis, or the fact that this website has a link on its navigational panel that says Get Laws!. I'm voting for Get Laws!. Here's the bit from the How To section for lobbying:

Third, inhumane laws and policies do not reflect the views of the majority, but rather those of anti-animal minorities with a strong local or national presence. Fourth, this will not change until animal advocates voice their feelings to the legislators and let them know they will be held accountable in the voting booth."

[..]

6) KNOW YOUR OPPOSITION. Its important to think about the type of people or groups that may oppose your ordinance. Know their arguments and be ready to counter. These might be hunters or low end breeders, or if you live in Alaska or the cold climates, sled dog groups. These people have large packs of dogs and frequently keep them chained. They are a working animal to them, not a companion.

Fuck those working stiffs and their opinions on how to best take care of their own property. They just aren't enlightened enough to understand how to best care for their dogs....

Around the Horn (International Edition)

It's time to fear SmartWater, a "universal property marking system" from the UK that's on its way to the States. Evil SmartWater video here.

Indonesia's veep says smoking marijuana still bad, selling it still punishable by death, but eating it just pukka.

Polish magazine Vprost mocks (NSFW) Germany and its own creepy power couple, the Kaczynski twins, by showing them suckling at the Photoshopped teets of German PM Angela Merkel, who was last seen here auditioning for a Coppertone photo spread.

An Australian boxing champ has been arrested in Lebanon, suspected of joining up with militants opposing the government.

England won't ban foie gras.

Friday Links

The politics are getting interesting in Baltimore. Everyone is trying to make everyone else look as bad as they actually are. Makes for a fun spectator sport. One example is the current "pants scandal", that has left the police department woefully short of certain sizes of pants.[emphasis mine]

...the police union president pinned the problem on plainclothes detectives raiding the supply closet because of a new initiative requiring that they walk foot patrols in uniform.

[...]

The officer, who was granted anonymity because he's not allowed to talk about pants without permission from the public affairs office, said that each of his six pairs of pants has problems - including a broken zipper, as well as holes in the pockets and in other unmentionable places

I love it. There is a blackout on any information regarding department issued pants. I can only imagine what the district briefings sound like...

Finger-printing and eye-scans come to Maastricht coffee shops.

I still think it's a travesty that Joe Camel was forced out...How do you think I feel about this?

"Alas, poor Britain. The best name for it is Absurdistan"

NRO's editorial on Bloomberg's likely presidential run.

Prepare yourselves for the Gold Cup Final, this Sunday, against Mexico, as the US has beaten Canada 2-1 to advance. If they hadn't made the finals it would have been a major letdown; we need a win against Mexico.

Around the Horn

Philip Dawdy works for free to tell you why he won't work for free.

Kerry Howley on how a product of Kenya and Kansas made a xenophobic appeal to America's middle class. MSNBC, unrelatedly, on how Kenya's thriving middle class is choosing housing products made in Kansas.

Citizens and illegal immigrants coming in from Mexico smoke out the border patrol.

Big headline: foie gras causes disease! Little subtext: but then so do lamb and beef.

Bureaucrash's hilarious video for its Department of Pre-Regulation.

Minerva pointed me to this [link fixed] haunting Sea Wolf video, which I watched about a dozen times before I bought the EP.

Space Filler

June is a great time to put posts together that no one other than you or your Dad care about. My favorite YouTube guy has more non-virtual friends, than your typical blog has readers during the summer. How do I know this? I don't, just made it up! Watch this -- The Orioles beat the Nationals 8-2 last night. Exciting game played in front of a packed-house of 42,000. The regular sitting next to me at the bar didn't leave with his beer half-full and his head shaking in disappointment. Good work boys!

This queer got a job for the struggling New York Times because of his work on a television blog. And I'm pretty sure he didn't have any Scarlett Johansson bukkake pics. I'm not saying I do either...But I'm not saying that I don't have any either. Shhhh.

I saw a sturgeon once -- a few years back while fishing on one of my usual tributaries of the Potomac. Had I known that I could get $50 for it, I would have stabbed the monster in the eye, grabbed it by the tail, slung it over my back, and carried it to the nearest Department of Natural Resources office. I've always wanted to throw a sturgeon down on a desk and shout, "Give me my money!" It would have been even better if it had been a female. Not for the caviar -- but because I heard they're a great lay. Sassy sturgeon indeed.

Around the Horn

Thai drug-sniffing dogs fired after pissing on luggage and "sexually harassing female passengers".

Hugo Chavez demands supporters fill public squares with surplus refrigerators, for some reason.

Coffeeshop rent-seeking in Chicago v. tavern rent-seeking in Philly.

Clay Aiken's fan club splits into "he's gay" and "nuh-uh" camps.

Nepotism taken to new extremes in the town of Lynnfield, Mass., as the dumpy-looking police chief's wife serves as a police dispatcher, crossing guard, and firefighter/EMT.

Friday Links

Some links for you to digest on this semi-holiday Friday.

AC Milan wins the Champions League Final. Final tally 2-1 over Liverpool. Not nearly as exciting as 2 years ago; however, I saw the score before I had a chance to watch the whole game and still enjoyed the match. In true English fashion, Liverpool supporters leave behind some 98 tons of beer cans, making me wonder how much they trucked out of Pimilco this past weekend for Preakness.

Kevin Durant is one hell of a basketball player. The question: On June 28 is he 1 or 2?

This is an interesting twist on the usual theme parks:

Welcome to Dickens World, a theme park with a difference. If you thought theme parks were all about thrilling roller coaster rides, wolfing down hotdogs and cotton candy, and shaking hands with overgrown mice and goofy dogs, you're in for a rude awakening. Dickens World recreates the filth, squalor, and even the unpleasant whiffs of Victorian London, the city in which Charles Dickens lived and breathed, and wrote so memorably about in "A Tale of Two Cities," "Great Expectations," and "Oliver Twist." It's less a theme park, and more a "grime park."

My only question --- Are you allowed to smoke in this Victorian time capsule?

Senator Kohl -- who sells some incredibly affordable, and wearable clothes for his day job -- is urging the FCC to block the XM/Sirius merger. I'm a big satellite radio guy. Love XM. But I'm on record (and by record I mean I was talking to myself alone while taking a shit one time) as saying that the deal will not go through. Does satellite radio survive without the merger? I think so, or at least one company you would think, but I'm also not sure. The two companies have buried themselves with expensive contracts for talent, and the revenue just isn't there yet. It will be interesting to see how the industry shakes out.

Toilet Humor

A 62-year-old Limerick, Ireland woman is in trouble for passing out in a Supermac's toilet, surrounded by wine bottles. Twice.

New Zealand flush with controversy over the location of a public toilet.

Florida man busted for keeping gator in toilet tank.

Inevitably, the iPod toilet docking station.

Ohio man cited for keeping "abandoned" toilet in his yard.

Florida thieves make off with toilet fixtures, prompting pun-laced story.

Notables

Hollywood forces neonatal TV watchers to view a gazillion trillion images of people smoking every minute, or something.

The Cassette, R.I.P. (Who knew it was still alive?)

More than 1 in 8 business failures in Scotland this fiscal quarter can be traced to the country's smoking ban.

Japanese designers are reacting to the country's women, who today have wider hips, larger breasts, and smaller waistlines than those of their moms.

As he'd promised to do when appointed, New Jersey public advocate Ron Chen is fighting eminent domain abuse in the state.

Look Over, Don't Overlook

The Minneapolis Star Trib lets us know what lesbians, tattoos and foie gras have in common.

The P-I reports that a Washington State court has for the first time overturned a drug-possession conviction using an affirmative medical-marijuana defense, here in the case of a 60+ glaucoma sufferer.

The Japan Times on the country's latest underage-girls craze: "T-back junior idols".

What does a corn snake named Skeeze like to read? Adult fiction.

The LA Times reports on burdensome regulations that are holding up privately operated toilets from opening on city streets, meaning Angelenos couldn't give a crap, even if they wanted to.

Sci-Tech Today shows yet another way beer can save the world.

Creepy-looking Paulina Rubio weds a creepy-looking guy in Playa del Carmen, Mexico -- where I'll be sipping all-inclusive drinks starting next weekend.