Return of the Drunk Live Blog 2010 SOTU Bitches

So the post-within-the-post live blogging experiment lasted a total of 7 minutes. SUCCESS. So just deal with reading two posts you lazy fucks.

I'd like to point out that on my end this is a drunk live blog. I can't speak for my co-blogger.


8:25 -- DIAL TESTING GROUP MOTHERFUCKERS. Check out CNN's focus group from Ohio. Ugly group of folks. Maybe it's a focus group to find out what ugly people think about the SOTU. I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR WHAT UGLY PEOPLE THINK.

8:35 -- Holy shit C Everett Coop needs to die. NOW. Anyone else seeing his Health Care Bill ad? He says he has 2 pacemakers, a stint, a bionic arm, a midget acting as his legs, and two glass eyes. He says that in the UK they would line him up in front of the firing squad and kill him. That's a great fucking idea. Health Care reform!

8:36 -- Stimulus Desk CNN style. HIGH TECH SHIT. Hey, those assholes on the stimulus desk don't look like they are working at all.

8:42 -- Not to confuse you people too much but I will be rotating our two blog post to the top of the blog as they update. So the most recently updated post will be on top of the blog. It sounds hard, but sometimes that's what the owner of a highly successful blog must do. MANAGE SHIT.

8:45 -- I've stated this before, but I'd bone Baltimore's own Nancy Pelosi. Not only would I do her, but I'd enjoy it.

8:50 -- Analyst on CNN.."It's mostly incumbents that are in trouble, not just Democrats." That's some dumb shit right there.

9:13 -- I prefer live blogging the commercials on CNN pre-SOTU. SOTU=GAY

9:18 -- Anyone hear that really awkward clap that quickly stopped?
"One thing we all hated was the bank bailout" Yes, yes we did. so why did we do it again? Oh, that's right...to stave off 10% unemployment. Wait...holy shit WE HAVE 10% UNEMPLOYMENT!!

9:20 -- I am Obama the populist monster!! Yes I have a law degree from Harvard, but still...I'm pretty fucking populist. DOWN WITH BANKS!!

9:28 -- How many minutes do we have left? This shit is boring...Did anyone realize that the Joy Behar show is on CNN Headline News? No? Maybe I'll live blog that shit instead.

9:35 -- KITTY BLOGGING. Nothing beats the view of a Tabby cat. Take that CNN dial testing, focus group, mid-western fatasses. YOU HAVE NO CATS.


9:41 -- MEOW

9:49 -- Best part of a 5 hour SOTU? I cans drinks lots of whiskey. GO OBAMA. This is Rob now. I kicked the cat off. He was kinda vulgar.

9:50 -- Ohhh. Let's blame Bush some more. You've been in office for one year mother fucker. "The federal government should tighten its belt" Yes IN 2009.

9:54 -- My GF...excuse me, my fiancee is reading the Gawker live blog, not mine. I say to her, Do they have cats blogging?? NO

10:04 -- I want to make fun of Wolf Blitzer. I want Andersen Cooper to ask TV-less and electricity-less Haitians what they thought of the SOTU. Can we finish the speech already?

1 hour in he gets into terrorism. Which may be the one only legitimate fucking thing they do. Protect us from people who want to blow us up.

10:25 -- Shit finally ended. I'll add my closing thoughts later, but I didn't think it was a very good SOTU. BAD OBAMA.

10:29 -- Bob McDonnell talking in front of a live legislative audience. Think the GOP learned their lesson from Gumby Jindal?

10:33 -- Alright..Archibald is fucking me up with this new post shit for the GOP rebuttal. I ONLY HAVE TWO HANDS.

Gay Andersen Cooper Haiti Live Blogging

As CNN says, our coverage has only just begun. I feel like drinking more, so I'm going to live blog the post-SOTU coverage. For a little bit.

10:46 -- FACT CHECKING. Let's check some facts. That a hell of a tie that the CNN money guy has on. Right on.

10:56 -- What do fat people think? Turn to CNN to find out

11:02 -- Andersen Cooper sighting. I've been waiting all night. No!!! Wolf, don't go back to the panel. Back to A-Coop and S-Gup!

11:05 -- I can't be the only one who thinks David Axelrod is a Christopher Walkin doppleganger? Right?

11:14 -- Eric Ericson on CNN. MY LAST NAME IS PART OF FIRST. Paul Begala. ROB THE BLOGGER DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MY LAST NAME.

God Mary Madalin looks like a ghost. That is it.

11:21 -- CNN is all over the tweets. Tell us what we are thinking CNN.

11:29 -- I just interrupted a conversation with my fiancee and re-winded my DVR so that I could catch the entirety of the the Andersen Cooper spot. I am gay.

Anderson and Sanjay. LOVE EACH OTHER TENDERLY.

I like the Andersen thumb-in-pockets stance. COWBOY.

11:44 - Black republican on CNN within the Ohio "I am Fat Focus Group". Nothing to add. Just wanted to point out a block republican in Ohio.