Mooninites Come to Connecticut

Apparently Boston isn't the only New England city government staffed by imbeciles:

NEW HAVEN — A "white powder" scare caused by some unwitting runners shut down the Ikea store at Long Wharf for four hours Thursday during one of its busiest weeks of the year.

The incident also mobilized hazmat personnel from as far away as Milford and Wallingford after an Ikea customer saw a woman dressed in black scattering a white powder in several places around the store's exterior.

...

It turns out the white powder was believed to be flour, and the mysterious black-clad woman was one of four members of a local chapter of an international network of running clubs called the Hash House Harriers. The runners were detained when authorities saw people matching their description jogging by the store about two hours after the scare began, said police.

So the runners were playing one of those games you used to hear about in college, where someone leaves a trail of flour and others follow it until finally everyone ends up at a bar. Two of the runners -- one of whom is a medical doctor at Yale-New Haven Hospital -- have been charged with felonies.

I have to congratulate the New Haven Police Department for being on top of this. I sleep easy at night knowing that the NHPD is a competent, law-abiding force for goo-- oh, right.

Mushmouth Mayor's Mooninite Morass

Tom Menino's mouth has been so stretched out from his practice of inserting his foot into it that I think the whole Mushmouth thing may have come about that way. Here's the latest losing effort from America's most embarassing mayor (Gavin Newsom notwithstanding).

Score one for the Mooninites.

The “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” movie behind January’s marketing-stunt-turned-bomb-scare opens in Boston Friday (the 13th, no less) despite Mayor Thomas M. Menino’s plea to local theaters not to screen it “out of respect to the people of Boston.”

No such luck. “Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters” opens Friday on two screens: AMC Boston Common and Kendall Square Cinema in Cambridge. Elizabeth Wolfe, vice president of publicity for First Look Pictures, said the film’s distributor had no trouble getting Boston theaters to show it.

As of press time, the mayor’s office had no comment.

Unlike the mayor, his press office knows better. More here from the Boston Herald. Backstory here.

Help DHS By Killing Mooninites in Beantown

Game here.

To 'Err' is Human, to Really Fuck Up is Bostonian

My sister, who works in Boston, emailed me this morning to let me know she was OK. Good, I said. Why wouldn't you be? Here's why.

A guerilla marketing campaign for a popular adult cartoon thrust Boston into pandemonium today as at least 10 bombs scares turned out to be battery-operated ads strategically place around the city, the Herald has learned.

Federal, state and local police swarmed around the city as reports poured in of suspicious devices, closing roads, tunnels and bridges for hours.

The chaos touched off a traffic nightmare and prompted a tense press conference from Gov. Deval Patrick and Mayor Thomas M. Menino, who assured residents the matter was under control. Fears of a possible terrorist act were quelled when it was determined the devices were part of an underground advertising campaign for the Cartoon Network TV show “Aqua Teen Hunger Force.”

The device features a character called a mooninite.

Named Ignignokt. Who is a pretentious douche, not a terrorist. (His henchman Err, though, may be a terrorist.)

More here. Cartoon Network's ATHF site here.

I wonder what Senator-Elect Curt Schilling (R-Fenway) thinks about this?

If I wasn't sitting in class right now, I'd be laughing. Out loud. Uncontrollably.