Paterson Shocker: HE'S BLIND!

I saw the rumors (earlier this week?) swirling around the tubes about "bombshell" accusations that were to be dropped on the Stevie Wonder of New York politics; so I expected some stories of hookers and shit in the coming days. Fuck if I wasn't disappointed. No hookers. No blow. Turns out the guy is just a huge asshole who runs a northeastern state. BORING. Get in line Gov. No Sight McGee.

Why even bring up the New York Times piece if there aren't any hookers and drugs? Two reasons --

1) It gives me a chance to run this fucking fantastic picture of Paterson as a kid in 1970 (above). Take a good long look. BTW, he's the kid on the right.

and

2) The indictments of Paterson read like my annual work evaluations. I half expected to read - "Aides have noticed that Paterson spends hours in the bathroom while at work, and often smells of vodka in the afternoons."

A few of those Rob-like (I can read though!) transgressions are: (excerpting from the NYT)

A review of several months of Mr. Paterson’s private schedules shows that his days were not long; he often arrived at his office in Manhattan or Albany after 10 a.m. and departed by 4:30 or 5 p.m

Sometimes, he has failed to show up at long-scheduled events.

Use the side door in the office, dude. Also, He cancelled a make-up speech at Columbia (he failed to show for the first one) two hours before the event. His excuse?

He had to cancel, the governor said, because of an emergency terrorism briefing. The Times requested the names of others who attended the briefing, or other evidence that the briefing had occurred, but Mr. Paterson’s office declined to provide any.

Oh shit. The Terrorism Briefing Card. I expect more from a guy like this. Look, I bet that one works better when you are a governor of a major state and not an Event Planner at a non-profit, but still, that's a tough excuse to pull off. Trust me.

Questionable accounting:

The governor attributed more than $1,800 in charges at the Ritz Carlton in Sarasota, Fla., to a trip he made to meet with someone he hoped could help him raise money. Asked if his trip broke even, he said, “I didn’t go down there for that reason,” adding: “I have a cousin who’s ill in Sarasota. I went down to see my cousin.” Mr. Paterson noted, “I mean, I did sit by the pool at the hotel, I will admit to that — that was kind of vacation-oriented.”

He can't read (stay with me on this one):

Mr. Paterson, who is legally blind, has always relied on trusted aides, in part because his disability forces him to turn to others for assistance with tasks like briefing himself on policy issues (he does not read Braille) and navigating crowded rooms.

And last but not least, this is what his friends have to say about the man:

As The Times prepared this article, Mr. Paterson and his staff encouraged reporters to interview a number of the governor’s supporters to speak about his record. One declined to comment. Two others did not return phone calls requesting an interview.

Ouch.

"Accountability Bullshit"

There is a great article in New Yorker about how teacher's unions effectively control the city's school system and have made firing any teacher - no matter how incompetent - impossible.

It focuses on so-called "Rubber Rooms", places where the NYC school system houses the teachers (still getting full pay BTW) it is trying to fire until their cases can be heard:

The [teachers] union’s Web site has a section that features stories highlighting the injustice of the Rubber Rooms. One, which begins “Bravo!,” is about a woman I’ll call Patricia Adams, whose return to her classroom, at a high school in Manhattan, last year is reported as a vindication. The account quotes a speech that Adams made to union delegates; according to the Web site, she received a standing ovation as she declared, “My case should never have been brought to a hearing.” The Web site account continues, “Though she believes she was the victim of an effort to move senior teachers out of the system, the due process tenure system worked in her case.”

On November 23, 2005, according to a report prepared by the Education Department’s Special Commissioner of Investigation, Adams was found “in an unconscious state” in her classroom. “There were 34 students present in [Adams’s] classroom,” the report said. When the principal “attempted to awaken [Adams], he was unable to.” When a teacher “stood next to [Adams], he detected a smell of alcohol emanating from her.”

Adams’s return to teaching, more than two years later, had come about because she and the Department of Education had signed a sealed agreement whereby she would teach for one more semester, then be assigned to non-teaching duties in a school office, if she hadn’t found a teaching position elsewhere. The agreement also required that she “submit to random alcohol testing” and be fired if she again tested positive. In February, 2009, Adams passed out in the office where she had to report every day. A drug-and-alcohol-testing-services technician called to the scene wrote in his report that she was unable even to “blow into breathalyzer,” and that her water bottle contained alcohol. As the stipulation required, she was fired.

It gets even better than that. The author contacted the teacher in question. She said that she sabotaged her own career and the article was a pack of lies put together by the union against her own wishes.

Read the whole thing, especially the bit featuring the teacher who scorns the city's recent efforts at firing bad educators as "accountability bullshit".

New York To Boost Porn Downloading In New Jersey

Gov. David Paterson is pushing for a law to add a 4% tax on downloading music and movies, and, yes, this will apply to porn too:

"This is simply bringing the tax code in line with technology," said Matt Anderson, a spokesman for the state Division of the Budget.

"Regardless of whether or not an item is purchased at a brick-and-mortar store or online, it would be treated consistently."

Paterson also said last night that the rich will "share in the sacrifice" of closing New York's budget gap.

Paterson, in language almost identical to that used by supporters of the so-called millionaire's tax, said the wealthy will not be spared.

"Every New Yorker will share in the sacrifice to get this budget balanced," he told the New York State Association of Black and Puerto Rican Legislators.

Would it be too terribly tasteless of me to point out that a tax on watching porn is being proposed by a guy who is blind? It would be? Okay, then I won't mention it.

In any event, as the New York Daily News article notes, since the law applies only to businesses that are physically located in the state, all it does is create an incentive for them to move across state lines. Which is pretty easy to do if your product is electronic.

Oh, and by the way:

Paterson has previously argued that spending cuts - not a new tax on the wealthy - should be the priority. His spokesman said the governor's new comments did not represent a shift in his position.

Well, I Have A Position For Her ...

Meet Melody Morales. This caliente seniorita is suing a New York restaurant, for, ummm, not letting its customers stare at her tits and pinch her ass. For reals:

The 21-year-old Latina lovely is the latest woman to sue over working conditions at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone, where employees in skimpy beachwear parade nightly before diners.

"Not to brag, but I look good in a bikini," Morales said Tuesday. "I could have done a perfect job there."

The suit says Morales went with her mother to the restaurant last March in search of a job. It claims a manager told her to get lost, saying, "I am not going to ruin my business with your Latin accent."

This really hurt poor Melody because, umm ... well, let her explain:

"It was kind of like my dream to work at the [Hawaiian Tropic Zone]," she said. "It's the bikini, I guess."

Damn, what a coincidence. It's my dream to have her serve me beers and nachos, then rub my shoulders. Slowly. And then faster.

Wow, small world isn't it?

Having said that, why is this lawsuit necessary? The owner may be a dickhead for not hiring her, but it still should be his call. And I'm having a hard time believing this is a real civil rights milestone either. Tell you what Melody, I'll vote with my feet and patronize whatever place you're working at, bueno? Donde esta su casa?

N.Y. Supreme Court Judge Has Supremely Big Balls

State Supreme Court Justice Edward Lehner proved that Wednesday when he ordered the state to increase judge's salaries -- including, yes, his own. From the AP:

Lehner, who acknowledged he would be affected by his own decision, ordered the state to raise judicial pay to reflect cost of living increases since 1998.

He was ruling on a lawsuit brought by four judges [seeking pay raises from the state]. Chief Judge Judith Kaye is leading a different lawsuit against the Legislature to secure raises — but has warned judges not to protest through action from the bench.

New York's highest-paid state judge makes $156,000 a year. Lehner said previously that judges' pay has been so ravaged by inflation in the last nine years that a first-year associate at a large New York City law firm would have to take a pay cut to become the state's chief judge.

Yes, the economic downturn is hitting everyone ...

NYC's New Motto: Marijuana Arrest Capital of the World

NEW YORK - Police busted nearly 400,000 people for carrying small amounts of pot in the last decade, making New York City the world leader in marijuana arrests, civil rights advocates said Tuesday while unveiling a study criticizing the war on drugs.[...]

The study by Queens College sociologist Harry G. Levin, titled "Marijuana Arrest Crusade," accused police of purposely singling out minorities during the 10-year crackdown. It said that data provided by state Division of Criminal Justice Services showed that between 1997 and 2007, 52 percent of the suspects were black, 31 percent Hispanic and only 15 percent white.[...]

According to the study, arrests for marijuana possession began skyrocketing in the late 1990s during the Giuliani administration _ a trend that continued under Mayor Michael Bloomberg at an estimated cost of between $50 and $90 million a year. There were 39,700 arrests last year alone, according to the study.

Well, there are like 8 million people in New York, so it's not a total surprise that 40,000 people were arrested for possession of marijuana. I might have even guessed higher; which is a sad statement on our country.

More:

NYPD spokesman Paul Browne called Levine an "advocate for marijuana legalization," and accused the NYCLU of using the sociologist "to mislead the public with absurdly inflated numbers and false claims about bias."

"If the NYCLU is for legalization, it should just say so without resorting to smears," Browne said.

OK, there we go, throw out the dirty words like, "legalization", and calling someone an "advocate for legalization". I know that I wouldn't want to be accused of fighting for a rational approach to drug policy. And since when did simply reporting how many people were arrested for carrying a plant become a "smear". Just like Mr Browne urges the NYCLU to come out and just say they are for legalization, I urge the city of New York to come out and just admit they are for an arcane policy of prohibition, enforced with penalties of arrest and imprisonment. It's only fair.

Full article here.

Cuomo: Attorney General Out of Control

In a wild overreach of government regulatory authority, New York State's attorney general Andrew Cuomo is investigating the study-abroad programs of elite colleges.

Investigators for Andrew M. Cuomo, the attorney general, are asking about who at each college is responsible for approving contracts related to study abroad, how each institution selects the programs it approves and whether it has received anything of value from a study abroad provider, among other issues, said the lawyer and representatives of some of the colleges that received the subpoenas and requests.

Former New York attorney general Eliot Spitzer re-wrote the rule book about the role of a state attorney general and not in a good way, if you are a libertarian. But he rode that populist creed to the governor's office and it looks like Cuomo is trying to do the same thing.

Bloomberg to Pay Lazy People to Not Be So Lazy

I know a thing or two about being lazy. (Why do you think I haven't been blogging). And I hate going to the doctor. So where is my hand-out?

NEW YORK — Poor residents will be rewarded for good behavior — like $300 for doing well on school tests, $150 for holding a job and $200 for visiting the doctor — under an experimental anti-poverty program that city officials detailed Monday.

The rewards have been used in other countries, including Brazil and Mexico, and have drawn widespread praise for changing behavior among the poor. Mayor Michael Bloomberg traveled to Mexico this spring to study the healthy lifestyle payments, also known as conditional cash transfers.

$150 for holding a job? Shouldn't the money you earn working be reward enough?? More here.

Man Sues Over Hard-On

Of all of the reasons to sue, I wouldn't have guessed that this is one, but welcome to the tort climate of the US.

Christopher Woods (that is sort of a hard-on name, btw), drank the health drink Boost Plus and got a woodie that just wouldn't go away. From the article,

A man has sued the maker of the health drink Boost Plus, claiming the vitamin-enriched beverage gave him an erection that would not subside and caused him to be hospitalized.

The lawsuit filed by Christopher Woods of New York said he bought the nutrition beverage made by the pharmaceutical company Novartis AG at a drugstore on June 5, 2004, and drank it.

Woods' court papers say he woke up the next morning "with an erection that would not subside" and sought treatment that day for the condition, called severe priapism.

They say Woods, 29, underwent surgery for implantation of a Winter shunt, which moves blood from one area to another.

The Winter shunt sounds painful and what is that anyway? But I would hope that a 29 year-old guy with a major hard-on could find a lot more satisfaction in the Big Apple than he would in court.

I'd Like to Shake this Man's Hand...Wait..Actually Scratch That

From the New York Post, emphasis all mine:

A woman who used her cellphone to photograph a man exposing himself on the subway implored city lawmakers yesterday to toughen penalties for flashers and perverts.

Thao Nguyen, 24, tearfully recounted how noted Manhattan restaurateur Dan Hoyt unzipped while staring at her on an R train two summers ago.

"I tried to avoid eye contact with him, but I had a feeling he was up to no good when he kept massaging his crotch," she testified before the City Council's Public Safety Committee

[...]

After being flashed, she posted her experience and the picture on various Web sites. Eventually, Hoyt, a raw-food chef, was arrested.

[...]

Hoyt's complete lack of remorse was noted by the judge at the time of the sentencing. The perv unabashedly told New York magazine that his victim "would probably want to go out with me."

And before his sentencing last year, he even claimed he was the victim of a crime.

"It's actually illegal to take pictures in the subway," Hoyt said.

How do you not like this guy's attitude? Whole story here. Question on my mind -- Suppose I'm jerking-off in my car while driving on I-95. Woman in car next to me sees me. I notice her and continue to jerk-off. Have I sexually assaulted her? I don't condone public masturbation, nor would I encourage it, but I'm asking a moral question, not legal question. I'm just curious if we use any other measurement, besides the feelings of the "victim" when determining if they deserve the victim status...I would think about it some, but I'm busy jerking it under my desk right now to the chick one cubicle over.

Hail the Libertarian Message in Diet Mountain Dew Ads

I just saw a Diet Mountain Dew ad on television that stunned and delighted me with its libertarian inferences. The set up is a SWAT team raiding an apartment building in New York. The ad is shot like a movie, with heavily armed police officers gathering outside and then storming up the stairwell and into the apartment. Inside the apartment is a guy crouching below his window with puppets on his fingers. He is doing a window puppet show.

The voice-over then says: "Fact: window puppet shows are illegal in New York City." It then says something about how surprised you will also be when you taste Diet Mountain Dew (I can't find the ad online so this is from memory).

I love that the ad points out that it is ridiculous (and scary) both that window puppet shows are illegal in New York and that a SWAT team could bring overwhelming force into your home for a minor offense.

A NY blogger had a post here.

Slow Day

John Tierney has a post up at his NY Times blog about the significant crime decreases of the '90's and the slight uptick in crime that we have seen in the last few years. He put the question to a panel at the annual meeting for the American Association for the Advancement of Science. The general response was "We have no fucking clue" what the main factor for the big drop in the '90's. Why do I find it interesting? The comments section. Comedy gold my friends. I'll share a few, but if you are looking to waste some time I recommend checking the thread out for yourself.

Exposure to maternal and/or paternal smoking in pregnancy and any associated offspring mental retardation and criminality began decreasing dramatically from the 1960s on. That time course could explain much of recent crime decreases in Canada and the US. Tobacco companies and their many Federal, other governmental, Republican, … allies have lots of money to confuse these issues.
New York City, Mayor Bloomberg, Dr. Frieden and allies have many smoking decreases and resultant benefits to be proud of.
[ellipsis]
What do you think the long range prognosis is if you take lead out of the environment. When you go out into the bay on a boat and look back at NYC, you see it engulfed in a cloud, which used to be leaded gasoline. Knowing the effects of lead on the brain and subsequently the higher concentrations in the city, what would you expect to happen if lead is removed: the politicians taking credit for the earth, stars and the moon

And the award for the only intentionally funny remark goes to...

Re: New York City crime reduction.

A contributing factor may be that NYC has become so expensive that muggers can’t afford to live there anymore.

Via Hit&Run.

Ban Proposed on Listening to an iPod While Crossing the Street

The slippery slope of limiting individual choice in the name of public health and safety started to avalanche today with the announcement that a New York legislator is introducing legislation to ban using an iPod or cellphone while crossing the street.

A state senator from Brooklyn said on Tuesday he plans to introduce legislation that would ban people from using an MP3 player, cell phone, Blackberry or any other electronic device while crossing the street in either New York City or Buffalo.

NewsChannel 4 reported that Sen. Carl Kruger is proposing the ban in response to two recent pedestrian deaths in his district, including a 23-year-old man who was struck and killed last month while listening to his iPod on Avenue T and East 71st Street In Bergen Beach.

"While people are tuning into their iPods and cell phones, they're tuning out the world around them," Kruger said. The proposed law would make talking on cell phones while crossing the street a comparable offense to jaywalking