The GOP Really Has Some Balls

Obama deserves credit for his clear-cut explanation of his medicinal marijuana position. The issue isn't as near to my heart as others (I'd really like to see Obama do something for the inner-city victims of the drug war, but whatever...) but still -- he is still on the right side of the issue when he says that he would stop DEA raids of medicinal marijuana dispensaries.

The GOP on the other hand responds with this nonsense to Obama's recent declaration:

WASHINGTON – RNC Communications Director Danny Diaz released the following statement today:

“Barack Obama’s pledge to stop Executive agencies from implementing laws passed by Congress raises serious doubts about his understanding of what the job of the President of the United States actually is. His refusal to enforce the law reveals that Barack Obama doesn’t have the experience necessary to do the job of President, or that he fundamentally lacks the judgment to carry out the most basic functions of the Executive Branch. What other laws would Barack Obama direct federal agents not to enforce?”

Via Pete, who has this to say:

After 7 1/2 years of rubber-stamping the Bush Presidency, someone in the GOP apparently found a copy of the Constitution... and then failed to read it.

The Bush administration has quite possibly been the greatest danger to the Constitution in history, and the GOP (as well as the Democrats for the most part) have sat idly by and cheered.

Yeah, it is amusing when the GOP starts talking about on-the-job performance for the President when they've given us 7 1/2 years of Bush, or about "basic functions of the Executive", of which I'm not sure where ignoring the principles of federalism come into play.

Deadly Night in the City

8 men shot, 2 fatally during a busy night in Baltimore.

Lindsay Lohan to be Immortalized with a Statue in the Ukraine

KIEV, May 15 (RIA Novosti) - The town of Komsomolsk in central Ukraine is to erect a monument to a 'drunken pig,' the national UNIAN news agency reported on Thursday.

The monument, which portrays a pig lying on its belly with its snout in a trough, will be installed near a local cafe.

"This monument symbolizes those people who make pigs of themselves by drinking far too much," said Oleg Ryabo, the local sculptor responsible.

Full story here.

In other not-really-related celebrity news, via The Superficial comes this weeks Signs of the Apocalypse: Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty share what appears to be a kiss making us all wonder what horror could be unleashed from Amy's vagina if they bred, and Lindsay Lohan's mom, Dana, wins a Mother of the Year Award.

No Love for the GOP

The Politico lays out the depressing outlook for the GOP come November.

Of Course He Does

Another man bites fucks dog story:

Two black-and-tan German shepherds have been put in the care of animal welfare workers as authorities investigate a Palm Beach Gardens man accused of sexually assaulting the dogs.[...]

County attorney Shannon Fox said in court papers that the man, who lives in an apartment with his mother, had repeatedly performed sexual acts with the dogs.

No arrest had been made by Wednesday evening but "an ongoing investigation" is under way, according to a Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office spokeswoman. An animal custody hearing will take place May 29. Neither the man or his mother could be reached for comment despite calls to their residence.

Officials said the investigation, which began more than a week ago, prompted renewed calls for a law making it a felony for people to have sex with animals.

Full story here.

Google Keywords of the Day

Due to a severe and lingering case of bloggers block I bring you a post that requires no creativity or effort on my part. Kinda like all my other post, only this one has more links. Well, links to this blog, but who cares.

Anyway, I bring you Our quasi-monthly edition of Google Keywords the Get Visitors to TtP. Enjoy! Or just close out of your browser tab and pretend like you were never here, all the same to me.

-----

I've never heard of a link between the two, but someone thinks there is --- alcohol and testicle shrinkage takes you to our ever growing Testicle label.

We need a Merkel tag --- i'm big in the bundestag gets you to Probably Only Slightly Better Than Seeing Helmut Kohl's Ass

people with no nipples gets you to --- Hillary Clinton Has Huge Knockers, No Nipples

This leaves me wondering exactly what is a dog brothel? That search takes you to TtP's prolific Boobies tag. Which in the same vein as the Pharaohs of Egypt I too hope to be buried with my treasures -- the Boobies tag.

nbc alabama leprechaun --- gets you to Possible Leprechaun Sighting in Mobile, which quite possibly is the best thing ever on the internet, video embedded below.

Heard in the Office

Two South Baltimore hens chattering about Mother's Day and cards:

Fatter One: Now I gotta say, my Father always got my Mother cards for Mother's Day and birthdays; and it wasn't ever those cheap $1.99 cards, they were those more elaborate expensive ones.

Not-as-Fat-One: Hallmark?

Fatter One: Yeah.

They then made a seem less segway from card talk to the subject of artificial insemination. Why? Who knows, maybe because they hate me...

NIDA: Smoking 50 Joints a Day Not Harmful

I'm not sure that was the point of a study done by researchers at the National Institute on Drug Abuse, but that sure seemed to be the conclusion.

Heavy marijuana use can boost blood levels of a particular protein, perhaps raising a person's risk of a heart attack or stroke, U.S. government researchers said on Tuesday.[...]

Levels of a protein called apolipoprotein C-III were found to be 30 percent higher in the marijuana users compared to the others. This protein is involved in the body's metabolism of triglycerides -- a type of fat found in the blood -- and higher levels cause increased levels of triglycerides, Cadet added.

High levels of triglycerides can contribute to hardening of the arteries or thickening of the artery walls, raising the risk of stroke, heart attack and heart disease.

Sounds kinda bad...I guess. Then we get this:

The study did not look at whether the heavy marijuana users actually had heart disease.

Right. Why bother? Back to the science!

"Chronic marijuana use is not only causing people to get high, it's actually causing long-term adverse effects in patients who use too much of the drug," Cadet, whose study is in the journal Molecular Psychiatry, said in a telephone interview. "Chronic marijuana abuse is not so benign."

The marijuana users in the study averaged smoking 78 to 350 marijuana cigarettes per week, based on self-reported drug history, the researchers said.

78-350 joints a week? A representative sample of the smoking population if I ever saw one. Actually, it sounds like they rounded up a bunch of vaginas for this study. Who only smokes 50 joints a day? Or even worse, 11? What a bunch of non-smoking losers.

The ONDCP blog is mysteriously silent on this relevant and damning study...Full article here.

Preakness vs Derby

Looking at my calender I see that the annual Baltimore tradition -- and second leg of the Triple Crown -- is coming up this Saturday. I plan on finding just about anything else to do. Golf, yard work, rounding up feral cats at the dump, you name it -- I'd rather be doing it. Preakness is something to be done once, maybe twice, but only if you're lucky enough to survive the fist one. The infield is a virtual death trap between beer grenades and flying ice chests, and enough pools of urine, feces and vomit to breed both mosquitoes and hepatitis.

On that note, the Sun's Kevin Van Valkenburg compares the Kentucky Derby to the Preakness and ends on this:

RACING FIELD AND OVERALL AESTHETIC

Derby: The best 3-year-olds in the world, most of whom are anonymous, unless you are the kind of guy who hangs out at the track all day, every day, smoking cigars, drinking bourbon and studying a racing sheet, in which case you are awesome.

Preakness: Say what you want about the Preakness, but it always has the Kentucky Derby winner, and the possibility for a Triple Crown is still alive. C'mon, Big Brown, momma needs a new pair of shoes!

Comment: OK, so one time at the Preakness, a guy ran on the track and tried to punch a horse. And we still don't have slots to play while you wait. And, yeah, Barbaro ran his last race here. And the grandstand looks like a shuttered steel mill. Did we mention you can bring your own beer?

Advantage: Preakness.

OVERALL WINNER: Preakness.

The Kentucky Derby is like a cross between the circus and the opera for rich people, only with more drinking and less-tasteful nudity.

The Preakness is more like a working-class celebration, something out of a Damon Runyon short story. It's the people's horse racing event, and it's as exciting as it is unpredictable.

You never know whether the power is going to fail or whether you're going to find true love at the bottom of an inflatable pool that's filled with warm beer. Plus, who knows how many more years the Preakness will be in Maryland?

It almost makes me want to go...Just almost.

Full article here.

Bob Barr Interview

Over at NRO. Barr on the Republican Party:

NRO: What convinced you that it would be impossible to reform the Republican party from within?

BARR: The fact that the Republican party has evidenced absolutely no interest whatsoever in moving back toward concepts such as the rule of law and away from concepts such as the so-called unitary executive, which flies in the face of both common sense and constitutional history in terms of separation of powers — a Republican party that for several years while the party controlled both houses of Congress and the White House did not move in the direction of shrinking the size, the scope, or the cost of government and has moved significantly and consistently to increase federal spending.

Read the whole thing.

Vote for Me, My Name isn't George Bush

I'll admit, that's a decent stand alone campaign strategy, but Barack may need to start finding some deeper foreign policy experience outside of his middle name. From an interview with Jeffery Goldberg in The Atlantic:

“This is a guy who spent some time in the Muslim world, has a middle name of Hussein, and appears more worldly and has called for talks with people, and so he’s not going to be engaging in the same sort of cowboy diplomacy as George Bush,” and that’s something they’re hopeful about. I think that’s a perfectly legitimate perception as long as they’re not confused about my unyielding support for Israel’s security.

Full interview here.

Headline Tells the Tale

In the Baltimore Sun:

Shooting victims had poor attendance, system's data show

There's a little more to the story, but even the revelation that kids who are shot have poor school attendance before the shooting is pretty worthless.

US Representative Wins Triple Crown

What else do you call it when a politician gets arrested for a DUI, gets bailed out of jail by his mistress, and admits to fathering her child?

Rep. Vito Fossella (R-N.Y.), wracked by controversy since his drunken-driving arrest last week, has just issued a statement in which he confessed that he has had an extramarital relationship with the woman who bailed him out of jail following the arrest — and that he is the father of her young daughter.

I would have never guessed that a guy named Vito would drive drunk, cheat on his wife and father a bastard child. Vito also announced at the press conference that he enjoyed pasta, wine, and betting on the ponies. Totally unexpected all of it.

Story here. [sub required]

Thanks to Sean I've-Fathered-Very-Few-Children-Out-of-Wedlock Higgins for the link.

Mississippi Drug War Blues

Drew Carey does his latest reason.tv episode on Cory Maye. Watch it and spread it.



P.S. I think I'm having issues embedding the reason.tv video, and as I've mentioned before while I'm at work I can't actually check To the People to see if the video published. I'll fix it when I'm home if that's the case. In the meantime just go to the reason.tv site and watch the video there.

Barack Obama: Agnostic?

Sean Higgins has a piece worth reading up at the American Spectator questioning Obama's religious convictions.

I'd agree with most of Sean's piece only adding on a semi-related note that as a whole Obama strikes me as a guy who is just generally unsure about a lot of things, not just questions about where your soul is, or if dead people go to heaven. It's the biggest joke of his whole "I'm not your typical Washington politician" shtick -- He is, only he looks a bit different than your usual Washington politician. For example: I don't think that Obama is a secret Black Nationalist, or that he agrees with much that Rev Wright had, or currently has to say. I'd be willing to bet he joined Wright's church in the first place only because that's what he thought he was supposed to be doing as a hopeful black politician in Chicago, or even more simply -- as a black man in Chicago.

What's so scary about Obama is that so many people buy into his shtick. Where's the healthy skepticism -- and I'm calling out Obama friendly libertarians here -- about Barack's version of Hope and Change? It appears to be woefully missing in the conversation...

Does Anyone Care?

Radley reports yet another disturbing, no-knock SWAT raid, this time in Arkansas.

I agree with him, this one is pretty egregious, even in the context that all of these raids-gone-bad are awful.

McCain Fails To Get 80% of the Vote in IN and NC

That can't be the outcome the McCain camp was looking for in IN and NC when their candidate is supposed to be the GOP nominee, running virtually unopposed.

MILFS Outraged Over Suggestive Book Titles

I feel for this lady's son:

LYNNWOOD -- Marci Milfs went to Urban Outfitters to find clothes for her teenage son.

She was surprised to find sexually charged books that she believes have no place in a clothing store for teens and young adults.

On one end of the spectrum was "Porn for Women," a photo book showing men doing housework. On the other was "Pornogami: A Guide to the Ancient Art of Paper-Folding for Adults," a guide for making anatomically correct artwork.

"When I saw it, I was shocked," Milfs said.

Well, fine Marci, but according to your logic I should complain about your name being printed in a newspaper. Why should I have to explain to my make believe child what your last name stands for? Or for that matter, why should I have to explain to that same child what "cunt" means after I call you one? Do you think I want to be put in that situation Milfs?

Milfs called in the Morality Mod Squad after her complaints to Urban Outfitters were ignored.

Milfs was so appalled that she is preparing to file a complaint with the city of Lynnwood, and has already aired her frustrations to State Rep. Norma Smith, R-Clinton, and organizations including Morality in Media, Concerned Women of America and the American Family Association.[...]

Washington is behind the times, Peters [President of Morality Matters] said. This state's minor-protection law calls for access to be restricted on goods that are "utterly without redeeming social value," but the wording is not followed by "for minors," Peters said.

The vagueness of the state law creates a legal gray area, Peters said. Arguably, an item that is inappropriate for children might be allowable if it's found suitable for adults, he said.

"Even assuming these books don't violate the law, they are not nice books," he said. "If a typical mother invited neighborhood kids over, she wouldn't be leaving these books on her coffee table for the kids to peruse."

Milfs doesn't believe the books should be seen by children.

"It's not freedom of speech," she said. "It's selling adult books to teenagers."

Whew...Close one. For a second I thought it was about freedom of speech -- or as I like to call it -- the right to offend suburban housefraus (otherwise known as my Mom) with explicit conduct.

I've got a suggestion for Milfs everywhere who don't want to be confronted with words like "Porn" or "Paper-folding": Shop at Kohls.

Full article here.

"Tomorrow, we shall achieve the victory, that the kingdom of God may come on earth as it is in heaven...

..and all those who love the Lord and will vote for Obama, say Amen.” --- Rev. Joseph Lowery


Read Byron York's NRO piece on a Michelle Obama appearance yesterday in North Carolina.

Admittedly, I've had my fun in the past with our potential First-Lady-in-Waiting, and mainstream conservative journalist have torn into her like a hungry pack of hyenas; but for all the armchair psychoanalyzing that the media has applied to Bush, you would think they could spare a minute or two to check out the Obamas' baggage that seems to weigh on them like a heavy rock.

Tuesday's Edition of "What Not To Do If You Are Growing Pot In Your House"

Having a cookout...Inside your house:

HYDE PARK, Vt. -- Firefighters responding Friday to a report of a possible structure fire instead found a man grilling on a charcoal grill inside his home and 22 marijuana plants growing in the bathroom, Lamoille County police said.

As a result of the visit, Robert Schrader, 29, of Hyde Park, Vt., was charged with violations of conditions, possession of marijuana and cultivation of marijuana.

Full story here.

Decriminalization Bill Defeated

The New Hampshire Senate says no to decriminalization.

The proposal would have made the possession of up to 1.25 ounces of marijuana a violation that carries a $200 fine, instead of a misdemeanor that can result in up to a year in jail and fines up to $2,500.

The House had approved the bill.

Move Over Chubby Kids, We've Got a New Epidemic

Indoor grow houses.

Officials say 150 houses with indoor marijuana operations were raided Wednesday, from the Florida Keys to the Panhandle. Miami U.S. Attorney R. Alexander Acosta says about 9,250 plants were seized, worth more than $41 million.

Authorities say there's an epidemic of indoor marijuana cultivation in Florida run by organized crime groups.

Now, that's my kind of epidemic.

N-Word Rises From Its Grave, Seeks Revenge Against Mayor Kilpatrick

Remember when America's favorite scandal-ridden mayor; who along with the NAACP buried the N-word in the summer of '07, complete with a funeral and eulogies? I sure do. At the time I thought burying a word was quite possibly the stupidest idea ever, especially when young black males are actually being buried at a rate 4-5x higher than their white peers. That small fact might point to real issues that directly affect the black community and need to be addressed, instead of symbolically burying a word for the mere purpose of grabbing a few headlines.

Well, it would seem Mayor Kilpatrick didn't bury the word soon enough. According to sordid text messages between Detroit's Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and his mistress, (aka Chief of Staff) back in 2002-2003 Kilpatrick used the word nigger in -- what I'm sure he would call -- an affectionate manner in reference to his mistress Christine Beatty. From CBS News, discussing the recent release of damaging text messages that are at the heart of multiple scandals that have plagued the mayor, and now led to his indictment on a whole list of offenses including perjury.

The sometimes graphic excerpts include the frequent use of the N-word, or derivatives of it, as a term of endearment.

On Sept. 15, 2002, Beatty described a sex act she wanted to perform on the mayor but said she didn't know how to ask him to let her do it. He replied: "Next time, just tell me to sit down, shut up and do your thing!"

Later that month, the pair appeared to arrange a sexual encounter in Beatty's office. On Sept. 19, 2002, Beatty wrote to Kilpatrick: "I have wanted to hold you so badly all day, but I was trying to stay focused on work. So, I promise, not to keep you longer than 15 minutes."

Kilpatrick replied: "Don't promise (N-word.)"

Beatty said: "I'm in my office. Do you want me to come to yours or you coming to mine?"

Kilpatrick said: "I'm coming down there ... LOL ditto. Freaky Chris!"

I see your LOL Mayor, and raise you a LMAO...

Kilpatrick allegedly has lied under oath, illegally fired police officers as part of the cover-up, and misused city dollars. So there are a lot of more important matters at stake here than just the simple hypocrisy over the use of nigger, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't pay any attention to yet one more example of what seems to be part of a every politician's oath: Do as I say, not as I do.

Full story here. Comprehensive archive of the Mayor's scandal here.

I Don't Get Paid for My Investigative Reporting

Radley Balko does "investigative reporting" in Baltimore strip clubs. Doesn't bother to invite me along as an assistant, or a sherpa-like guide to the seedy Baltimore nightlife.

I'm hurt.

Chelsea and Man U Top Face Each Other in Champions League Final

An all English final as Chelsea beats Liverpool to advance to the finals against Manchester United on May 21 in Moscow. The two teams are also on top the Premier League, and feature the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo, Didier Drogba, and Michael Ballack. Needless to say, it should be a good game.

NYC's New Motto: Marijuana Arrest Capital of the World

NEW YORK - Police busted nearly 400,000 people for carrying small amounts of pot in the last decade, making New York City the world leader in marijuana arrests, civil rights advocates said Tuesday while unveiling a study criticizing the war on drugs.[...]

The study by Queens College sociologist Harry G. Levin, titled "Marijuana Arrest Crusade," accused police of purposely singling out minorities during the 10-year crackdown. It said that data provided by state Division of Criminal Justice Services showed that between 1997 and 2007, 52 percent of the suspects were black, 31 percent Hispanic and only 15 percent white.[...]

According to the study, arrests for marijuana possession began skyrocketing in the late 1990s during the Giuliani administration _ a trend that continued under Mayor Michael Bloomberg at an estimated cost of between $50 and $90 million a year. There were 39,700 arrests last year alone, according to the study.

Well, there are like 8 million people in New York, so it's not a total surprise that 40,000 people were arrested for possession of marijuana. I might have even guessed higher; which is a sad statement on our country.

More:

NYPD spokesman Paul Browne called Levine an "advocate for marijuana legalization," and accused the NYCLU of using the sociologist "to mislead the public with absurdly inflated numbers and false claims about bias."

"If the NYCLU is for legalization, it should just say so without resorting to smears," Browne said.

OK, there we go, throw out the dirty words like, "legalization", and calling someone an "advocate for legalization". I know that I wouldn't want to be accused of fighting for a rational approach to drug policy. And since when did simply reporting how many people were arrested for carrying a plant become a "smear". Just like Mr Browne urges the NYCLU to come out and just say they are for legalization, I urge the city of New York to come out and just admit they are for an arcane policy of prohibition, enforced with penalties of arrest and imprisonment. It's only fair.

Full article here.

Hillary Winning Over Whites in NC To Halve Obama Lead

That's the story in the SurveyUSA poll today showing Obama 49% Clinton 44% in the North Carolina primary race. Quoting the poll:

Obama has led by 10, 8, 10, and 9 points. Today: 5. White voters are key. Since January, Clinton had led among Carolina whites by 14, 19, 17, 22 and 23 points. But today, suddenly: 31. In the Research Triangle, Clinton is up 9 points, week-on-week; Obama is down 3; a net swing of 12 points to Clinton. Among unaffiliated voters, Clinton has overtaken Obama for the first time in 2008, though the difference is small and within the sub-group's margin of sampling error. The two tie among Moderates. Obama leads slightly among Liberals. Clinton leads slightly among Conservatives. There is enough cross-current in the political waters that SurveyUSA's final pre-Primary poll, next week, may show more movement -- though in which direction it is impossible to know.

Wright isn't helping Obama out much with his wooing of Washington at his National Press Club shindig that has now forced Obama to come out with a much less tempered statement than when the Wright story first broke. I'm not smart enough to know how this plays out for rest of the primary battle, let alone the general election if Obama makes it; but I think it is foolish to think that Obama is anything but weakened from the past few months. I've thought for some time that Clinton is the stronger general election candidate against McCain, and the past 2 months have done nothing to convince me otherwise.

This is what happens when you leave the Clintons in the game...

No Torch Trouble in North Korea

Non-news of the day:

The Olympic torch made an incident-free passage through the streets of Pyongyang on Monday, a day after a series of clashes between pro and anti-Chinese demonstrators marred the relay south of the Korean border.

If a Person Would Drive Without a License, What WOULDN'T They Do?

Is it even legal to set-up a checkpoint to check licenses? Are there no expectations against unreasonable searches anymore?

Deputies and CHP team up to catch drunk and unlicensed drivers.


Two people went to jail Friday night for driving under the influence, caught in a checkpoint set up to get drunk drivers and those without a license off the road.

The checkpoint was set up on Lyons Avenue between Peachland Avenue and Wheeler Road, with one direction handled by the CHP and the other by the Santa Clarita Valley Sheriff’s traffic deputies.

According to CHP Officer Michelle Esposito, 1,303 vehicles were screened at the checkpoint, which was held from 7 p.m. Friday to 3 a.m. Saturday. Along with the two arrests, four vehicles were impounded and nine drivers received citations.

2 arrests, 4 vehicles stolen, 9 citations issued. Pretty successful night out for the Santa Clarita Police Department.

Full blurb here.

World Stunned as Vincent Price Turns Up Alive and Sexually Fit in Austria

Creeepy...Yet another women-locked-in-basement-for-decades story comes out of Austria. This one even more perverse than the last one.

AMSTETTEN, Austria — Austrian police have arrested a 73-year-old man who they say kept his daughter locked in a cellar for 24 years and fathered seven children with her, three of whom never emerged into daylight from their prison until now.

With stories like this coming out Austria, you would think we'd have more than just our one lone Austrian reader.

This Time They Mean It

The Netherlands looks to ban mushrooms...again:

The Dutch government has decided to ban "magic mushrooms" and announced that it would put a bill before parliament under a proposal put forward by the ministers of health and justice, Ab Klink and Hirsch Ballin.

The decision, backed by a majority of members of parliament, was taken after a number of accidents mostly involving tourists.

Flashback to over a year ago when we first heard that the Dutch government was banning the sale of mushrooms after a French teenage tourist jumped to her death in March of '07. This past February I was surprised to find that smart shops were still open and doing brisk business. So I don't know what to expect with this recent news out of the Netherlands, but it would seem as if at some point in the near future smart shops will cease to exist legally in the tolerant country.

Time To Find a New Job, One Where I Can Be Trusted with a Computer and Dirty Words

As part of an ongoing effort to make my day at the office exponentially more miserable than each previous day, my employer has upgraded their content filtering software to SonicWall. At any given time based upon content; TtP, Hit&Run, DrugWar Rant, Classical Values, The Agitator, and many more blogs are blocked. It's no doubt the most effective way to filter content at work -- block everything.

If an employer wants to do this, they of course have every right to do so. If I don't like it, I can get a new job (anyone offering?), perhaps one with a more mature attitude towards their employees. However, just because they can do this type of nannying, doesn't mean that they should. It doesn't strike me as an effective way to hold on to young talent, or to promote a happy and productive workforce.

Your TtP STD PSA

I'm late to the party, but April is STD Awareness month. In honor of encouraging testing, I'm proud to announce that according to recent test results that are framed and hanging on my cubicle wall -- this reckless blogger is currently STD free. I pass along these obvious lab screw-ups results not to encourage the unprotected sex, or risky sexual activities that I have so fortunately gotten away with in the last few years; but rather to say that if even I can test negative for 7 STDs that there is a really good chance that you can too.

I recommend tSTD. It's a pretty cool service that cuts out the doctors visit and returns the results within 48 hours. Insurance doesn't cover it, but if you need a full battery of tests and you don't have all the symptoms, insurance probably won't cover you at a clinic either. The price isn't too bad, only $250 for all the important ones. They give you your results over the phone and post them to a secure web site, so that you can prove to your pesky partner that you really are disease free. Give them a try.

Hopefully You've Been Reading This

Jacob Sullum vs Charles Stimson in the LA Times on the subject of drug prohibition.

Beijing Adding 40,000 Smoking Inspectors for Olympic Games

40,000 on top of the already hired 60,000 smoking inspectors in the city. That's a lot.

I smell a cultural exchange program here...China gives us adorable pandas, in return we could give China cuddly anti-smoking zealots.

First on the list: Mike Huckabee.

Amy Winehouse Confirms: "I am a legend...I want to take drugs"

Amy Winehouse is my hero. My Badass Hero:

Grammy award-winning singer Amy Winehouse could be facing arrest and a possible six month jail sentence after she allegedly attacked TWO men while on a drug-fuelled bender.

The drug addict singer, 24, faces a police quiz after claims she 'headbutted' a man who was trying to help the singer get a cab outside a bar, and then was said to have allegedly punched a second victim in the face.

According to the Sun, a source said the singer also kissed a mystery man at a nightspot, and in one bar threw drinks around and overturned tables while she screamed 'I am a legend...I want to take drugs'.

Awesome stuff. Honestly though, isn't it pretty common knowledge in England that you approach Amy Winehouse after dark at your own risk? It's like playing with bears, then all of a sudden, one bites you in the neck killing you, and your all like, "wha' happened?? I was just playing with a 700lb brown bear and now I'm dying" Amy Winehouse is like that bear. Only not trained. And constantly on drugs. But both their bites are ferocious and potentially deadly.

More from London's night demoness:

After arriving home at 4am Amy then had to break into her own home in the early hours yesterday after losing her keys.[...]

It is also claimed at one point she emerged and tried to punch and headbutt a man in the street before buying the early editions of yesterday's papers and heading for home, where she had to gain entry via the garage.[...]

OK, in all fairness to the booze saturated diva; I doubt too many of us would hold up well to the scrutiny of a dozen photographers and reporters following us around during a normal weekend bender. I'm not saying I headbutt