How Do You Say 'Fuck Off' in Russian?

It's a boring article about how Russia is descending into a financial apocalypse (join the club!), but this quote from a Kremiln insider on Putin's presidential aspirations, Part 2, made it a post worthy article:

Most analysts do not doubt that the amendment is tailored entirely for Mr Putin, allowing him to return to the presidency for 12 years rather than eight. Whether he will choose to do so is another matter, although every independent analyst says they will be more surprised if Mr Putin is not president within two years than if he is.

Only those close to the Kremlin claim Mr Putin has no designs on the presidency. "Medvedev will serve his term and may be re-elected for another," says Edward Lozansky, a former dissident. "It is none of the British press's business anyway. Go and teach your British wives to cook cabbage soup."

Words of Wisdom from the Georgian Beach Volleyball Team

So I'm still considering myself a blogger. I don't introduce myself anymore as "Rob the Blogger", more like "Rob the Functioning Alcoholic that Doesn't have Time To Do Things like Masturbating to My Favorite Porn, Let Alone Blogging"; but I'm hoping to get back to full-time blogger status if for no other reason then my current title is way too long and my lone co-blogger will be gone for the next three weeks. Looks like you guys are stuck with me.

In my absence, the Olympics have started, war has broken out in Georgia, Planned Parenthood released a new campaign Take Care Down There, and I have a nasty rash on my left arm pit. Important things first -- This rash is really annoying. Itches a ton. And I've watched every video at Take Care Down There, and I've seen nothing, absolutely nothing, on what my rash could be or on how to treat it.

I did learn that even if a dude doesn't spew in my mouth, I can still get a STI (apparently we aren't saying STD anymore). Thanks Planned Parenthood. Unfortunately I haven't had any (OK, many) cocks between my left arm, spew or no spew, so I don't think that advice helps me much. Or I guess it rules some things out...

As for my post title -- I was reading the latest AP report on rift between Georgia and Russia and it ended with this quote from a member on the Georgian women's beach volleyball team:

"Russia and Georgia are actually friends. People are friends," said the Georgian beach volleyball team leader, Levan Akhtulediani. "But you know, it's not, in the 21st century, to bomb a neighbor country, it's not a good idea."

The quote came after the Georgian team rallied to beat the Russians in beach volleyball. You'll excuse the Georgians at home for not celebrating too much...

This Week In Dictatorship

Russia:

A Russian judge sentenced opposition leader Garry Kasparov to five days in jail Sunday, a day after the chess champion-turned-politician and other protesters were arrested at a pro-democracy demonstration in Moscow.

Kasparov was charged and sentenced Sunday for organizing an unsanctioned procession, resisting arrest and chanting anti-government slogans.

[Emphasis mine]


Venezuela:

Chavez said Sunday he is putting relations "in the freezer" after President Alvaro Uribe ended the Venezuelan leader's role mediating with Colombia's leftist rebels. That announcement drew a strong rebuke from Uribe, who said Chavez's actions suggest he wants to see a "terrorist government" run by leftist rebels in Bogota.

[...]

It could have serious economic consequences. The two countries are major commercial partners, with $4.1 billion in trade last year, about two-thirds of that in Colombian exports to Venezuela.

This situation in Venezuela is a bit more complicated. First off, the talks between Chavez and FARC were (according to the article) to arrange for the release of hostages. Second, Uribe comes off as no angel himself. But as Chavez isolates his nation from the world further, is there anyone (outside of Hollywood) who really believes this guy cares about "his people" anymore?

Happy Russian Sex Day!

Oh Russia, an endless source of entertainment. While most of Europe’s population decline is well documented, it is the Russians that are leading the race to the grave. The Russian population is declining at about 0.5% a year, with a life expectancy for men of only 59 years according to the CIA Fact Book. This drop is forecasted to lead to 40 million less Russians by the middle of the century. To combat this deficiency, the BBC reports, the governor of a Russian province is encouraging couples to take today off to make a baby. If a baby is born on the National Day, June 12, the family can receive numerous prizes for their efforts.

Can We Have the Election Right Now Before Bush Starts WWIII?

Bush has made an unimaginable mess in the Middle East that might take generations to clean up. But he can't stop himself from causing more problems for the US by destabilizing the world even further, as that seems to be his greatest skill.

This time Bush is aiming his unique anti-diplomatic skills toward Russia, as if the US doesn't have enough world-wide problems to manage. Bush announced that the US is deploying an anti-missile shield in former Soviet bloc country the Czech Republic. The Czech population opposes it overwhelmingly and Putin is going ballistic, saying that he will start pointing Russian nuclear missiles at the US.

Perhaps with a CBS News poll indicating that W is the worst president ever, and that Reagan was the best, W wants to recreate the Cold War so he can be Reagan and again close a war that was over 20 years ago. Maybe that is why he added to the missile crisis by saying, just before the coming G-8 Summit, that Russian reforms were "derailed." I don't disagree with that, but it sure makes Bush's famously naive statement about Putin in 2001 as that Bush said

"I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straight forward and trustworthy and we had a very good dialogue. "I was able to get a sense of his soul.

Putin is a former KGB officer who pocketed Bob Kraft's Super Bowl ring. I don't know what is worse, being a fool enough to trust Putin based on eye contact or trying to antagonize his nation now. Any president with a brain would have avoided both.

So let's have an election in 2007. The candidates are primed and ready to go. And the US cannot afford one more year of W's scary stupidity, ego and recklessness.

The 'Other' 'Other Russia'

From Moscow comes (NSFW) a new form of group protest, writes Publius Pundit.

Apparently the group[, led by performance artist Oleg Kulik,] was inspired to enact their own unique sort of protest action by mounting a mattress on the roof of a car and then driving it through the streets of Moscow while copulating after witnessing the Moscow protest action last weekend led by dissident politicians Garry Kasparov and Mikhail Kasynanov as the "Other Russia" coalition. It seems they wanted to emphasize the "make-love-not-war" theme in the most visceral manner possible.

According to the participants, they received a much more "sympathetic" response from the local police than was the case in regard to Kasparov's forces; the cops they passed only laughed and waived. Wisely, it seems, the participants somehow managed to refrain from referring to Vladmir Putin at all...

Publius Pundit, by the way, shares both Rob's enthusiasm for Yulia Tymoshenko and Catallarchy's love of the Hotties of the Cedar Revolution.

Let Me Know How this Works Out for You

From the Guardian:

The Russian tycoon Boris Berezovsky has told the Guardian he is plotting the violent overthrow of President Putin from his base in Britain after forging close contacts with members of Russia's ruling elite.

Full article here.

Updated with link.

Tony Blair is Gay

Not homosexual gay or happy gay; but awful gay. Like wearing slacks without a belt gay, or George Bush gay. Like "that's so gay" gay. And yes I know criticizing people for not dressing right makes me sound gay. Homosexual gay. And making fun of the word gay could get me arrested in England. Or put under strict curfew. Which is why Tony Blair is so gay. But not as gay as Vladimir Putin (he he, Putin, what a fun name to say) who is no longer inching but galloping towards Stalin gay. Interestingly, a google search for "Stalin" and "gay" finds this 2002 BBC News story about the Russia government prosecuting a novelist for writing about a fictional homosexual relationship between Stalin and Khrushchev. A search for "gay" and "tony blair" turns up this excellent music video from a few years ago making fun of him and George Bush. There's an interesting wikipedia page on the history and evolution of the words gay and ghey here. The latter is what I'm supposed to use when saying things like Ann Coulter's offensive comments are so ghey; but would you know what I mean? No. That's because ghey is gay. Like Lou Dobbs gay. God that man is a douche bag. I'm proud to say that my post entitled "Ron Paul on Douche Bag Lou Dobbs' Show, Minue the Douche Bag" is the first and second thing to pop up on a google search for "Lou Dobbs" and "douche bag".

Misleading Advertising

Classic. Besides the obvious negatives of really, really cold weather and a percentage of the population with HIV that makes it look like South Africa's little brother; Russia seems like a happening place. No telling what it will look like in 10 years, but that's hardly for us to worry about now. Much simpler to just price check these out.