School Hires 34 Year Old Former Stripper at Minumum Wage; Stripper Does Her Part for Predictable Ending

And I thought TtP's hiring policies were lenient:

A special-education aide at Highlands Senior High School resigned under pressure yesterday and faces possible drug and corruption of minors charges for a hotel party involving high school teenagers.

New Kensington police said they found suspected crack cocaine, empty beer cans and used condoms in a room that Abbiejane Swogger, 34, of Harrison, shared with minors Thursday night at New Kensington's Clarion Hotel. The room contained drug paraphernalia and a marijuana odor when officers arrived just before noon on Friday to follow up on reports of missing teens, said Detective Dennis Marsili.[...]

The one-time exotic dancer worked since September for the school district at a job paying minimum wage or slightly above. At the time Ms. Swogger was hired, the school district had no drug-testing policy for employees at her level, Dr. Galcik said. The school board later expanded its policy to require such testing in January for new employees, she said.

Drug testing? I'm not sure preventing casual pot smokers from teaching will accomplish much in the way of preventing pedophilia.

How about whore testing? That would be a more effective policy to stop the hiring of middle-aged whores as teachers. You can take this as a formal offer of my services Westmoreland County. Not to brag but I'm like a human lie-detector machine. Only I detect whoreness. It's a complicated process where I see if the women in question will go home with me. Never fails.

More:

Ms. Swogger says she rented a hotel room to socialize and drink beer with adult acquaintances, but teenage friends of her son showed up and refused to leave. She maintained yesterday that she knew nothing about drugs in the room and did not give the teens any beer.

"I think if they drank, I would have known about it," she said, adding that she unsuccessfully urged the two girls to leave.

Ms. Swogger also said she did not have sex with any of the young people present. They may have had sex with one another, she said, but did so "discreetly."

That's a good excuse...They might have had sex in the same room as me, but if they did so, they were 'discreet' about it. I'll have to tuck that one away for further use. Like this Saturday. Me: "Officer, there may have been a dozen or so street walkers shooting heroin while blowing me in the bathroom. But if they did, they were discreet about it. Now, am I free to go back to more discreet prostitutes that may or may not be in my bedroom?

Full story here, with a hitable picture of the former teacher in question.

White House to Skanks: Go Home!

In a policy that is the exact opposite of what mine will be when I'm President, the White House is stepping up its enforcement of rules barring women wearing miniskirts and tank tops from visiting the White House, even if they're part of a tour on a hot, summer day.

signs have popped up at various White House entrances -- including the press entrance and the staff and visitors' entrance at the southwest gate -- along with e-mails to staff members, to remind everyone, particularly tour groups, that, even in these times of sinking poll numbers, proper attire is to be maintained.

The e-mail reminder was all in capital letters. It advised that there would be no jeans, sneakers, shorts, miniskirts, T-shirts, tank tops and -- with boldface added -- "NO FLIP FLOPS." (Which, of course, is good advice, if rarely followed in this town.)

These prohibitions would be in force "regardless of weather conditions."

It seems that someone at the White House has forgot they represent the American people, and the American people are trashy. I guess Baylen - who wears sneakers and shorts as often as Reason's Nick Gillespie wears leather jackets - will have to find other houses to hang out in. I'm going to spend my weekend's outside the White House comforting women turned away for being too trashy.

More here.