Always Think Of The Customers' Well-being

A strip club in Florida is noting the change in the seasons by offering free flu shots to customers. Unfortunately the story by local Channel 6 doesn't indicate if the nurse does it while giving a lapdance.

She's Creating a Minaret in My Pants

Growing up in Virginia, the wildest girls were always the kids of strict, Godfearing parents. It is nice to see that this tradition carries over to the Muslim world. Yes, the girl at left is the daughter of a fundamentalist radical. Daddy must be so proud.

Meet Yasmin Fostok, the daughter of Omar Bakri. That name may not mean much to people in the U.S., but he's a notorious figure in England. A radical Muslim sheik, he praised both the 9/11 attacks and later terrorist bombings in the UK. He was for a while literally Osama bin Laden's London spokesman. He did this all while living on the dole, becoming the exhibit A in arguments for reforming the country's welfare system.

Bakri was later forced into exile in Lebanon, but apparently his daughter stayed behind ... and became a stripper. Oh praise Allah!

Yasmin told The Sun: 'I've done pole dancing, but I like to keep it quiet.

'I don't normally do topless work, but I'm willing to go topless if the venue is right.'

One friend told the newspaper: 'Bakri would have a heart attack if he saw his daughter on stage. She was brought up a strict Muslim and had all of his extreme teachings about morality drummed into her head.

'But she has been leading a wild double life thrashing about on stage in pole dancing clubs and drinking and partying like there's no tomorrow.

Read the whole story here, including a boyfriend's description of her as "very adventurous in bed". As a result of this unwanted exposure, the girl is now in hiding.

I think I'm Going To Kathmandu/That's Really, Really Where I'm Going To

So what's going on in the world? Oh, just a suddenly hot presidential election, renewed tensions with Russia, more violence in the Middle East and a complete and total meltdown of the financial markets. I could comment on those ... or I could link to a story about strippers.

Dang, you know me too well:

KATHMANDU (Reuters) - Hundreds of disco workers protested in Kathmandu on Monday against a government crackdown on "nude dancing" in its bid to improve the deteriorating law and order.

Police have raided scores of discos, nightclubs and dance bars in the past two weeks and detained 1,500 people saying many were running bars where "nude dances" were performed, not allowed by law in the Hindu majority society.

There are hundreds of such night spots in the Kathmandu valley, although the country has no specific law to regulate them.

A Maoist-led government which took power in August has already ordered the bars should be closed an hour before midnight, to halt worsening public security in the capital, home to more than two million people.

Bar and disco operators are protesting the move would jeopardize their business and render 80,000 people jobless.

The AFP adds:

Protesters blew whistles and screamed slogans "Stop the crackdown on night workers" and "Down with government," as they rallied in Thamel, Kathmandu's tourist hub, an AFP reporter at the scene said.

Police watched the protesters but no one was arrested.

Hmm, now why would police just stand around and watch the girls ... ohh, yeah, right.

I Thought Democrats were the 'Buy Local' Party?

Apparently it doesn't apply to local exotic dancers:

The political convention is kind of a bust for downtown strip clubs, but techies in town for next week's electronics show should give the clubs a boost, one exotic dancer said.

Michelle Horning, a dancer at La Boheme, said business is slower this week than normal because there is a big lull in customers in the evenings during the political speeches. [...]

Business at another club, the Diamond Cabaret, has remained steady, employees said, despite several road closures due to protests that shut off the club's valet parking.

Horning said exotic dancers from across the country, expecting large crowds because of the Democratic National Convention, contacted La Boheme in the past several weeks hoping to dance this week. Management turned them down, however, opting to let the club's more tenured dancers take the stage.

Dancers and servers at the club are still hoping visiting Democrats will drop some cash at La Boheme, though.

"It's just been mediocre. At the end of the week, it will be better," Horning said.

No word on the hooker traffic during the convention; but just between us (and by us I mean the two people who still check out TtP -- yes I know who you are and where you live) we have a secret convention corespondent who always keeps his hands on the pulse, and ass, of the prostitution scene where ever he finds himself. I'll try and get a read from him after the convention.

Breaker, Breaker: Is There a Chuck E. Cheese Near a Stripper Bar?

A West Virginia Mother is attempting to get toymaker Fischer-Price to recall a line of working walkie-talkies after her three year-old heard real-life truckers on the line:

Deborah Pancaro, 34, said she contacted Fisher-Price after she heard a conversation in which a man said “10-4” and other things that led her to believe the device was relaying a CB radio conversation.

“They said we should go smoke some weed, and were talking about being in a strip bar, some really explicit things,” Pancaro said Thursday.

The walkie-talkie is sold exclusively at Wal-Mart and allows children to role-play animal rescues like the Diego character does on the cartoon series “Dora the Explorer” and “Go, Diego, Go!”

The walkie-talkie is supposed to have a range of about 20 feet, but Pancaro said she heard one of the voices say he was driving on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, about 275 miles north of Huntington.

And, yes, the complaints are having an effect because -- all together now -- it's for the children:

Though the product has not been recalled, Wal-Mart says on its Web site that it is being discontinued. A spokeswoman for the company based in Bentonville, Ark., said Thursday she would look into the matter.

Pancaro said she planned to return Fisher-Price’s call later Thursday.

“It’s not about the money. I’d just hate for little kids to be hearing things like that, and I thought maybe they didn’t know.”

Read the whole thing here.

Via Fark.com.

Insert "Canadian Mounted" Joke Here

Police in Edmonton, Canada, have come up with a novel way to relieve stress on those long night shifts. Pick up strippers and have them perform at the police station:

Edmonton police officers regularly rounded up women from bars at closing time and took them to a constables' lounge at police headquarters for "talent nights," a disciplinary hearing has been told.

The allegations were made in May at the disciplinary hearing of Const. Sebastien Berube. CBC News has obtained transcripts of the hearings, which concluded this week. A ruling is expected by the fall.
***
"They just drive around when the bars finish and people, you know, they are all waiting outside for cabs. It's pretty easy to pick up a girl that's freezing at -40 out and offering her a ride to somewhere she can have a drink after the bar closes," Berube testified.

Three other officers confirmed the existence of this practice in testimony at the hearing.

That constables' lounge is a pretty rocking place by the way:

The constables' lounge is licensed and has vending machines that dispense beer and liquor. It operates after bars have closed to give police officers a place to socialize after they have finished a late shift.

No word on whether the constable's lounge has a VIP room.

Why Doesn't This Happen On the DC Metro?

Namely, guerrilla stripper performances on commuter railway cars:

SANTIAGO (Reuters) - A stripper who danced on the poles of Santiago subway trains to challenge the prudishness of Chilean society was arrested on Thursday during one of her lightning performances.

Monserrat Morilles, 26, surprised subway riders all week stripping to skimpy underwear, but she refused tips.

She said she was protesting a lack of tolerance in Chile, one of Latin America's most conservative societies where the first generation since the Pinochet dictatorship is reaching adulthood.

"This is just a beginning. We are starting an idea here that will grow and be developed further," she told Reuters as police and subway guards surrounded her.

The professional pole dancer worked quickly all week to avoid arrest, getting on at one station, finding a subway car with no children on it and stripping in time to exit at the next station.

Chilean media dubbed her "La Diosa del Metro" or Subway Goddess. She called her performances "happy minutes."

"Chile is still a pretty timid country," said her manager Gustavo Pradenas. "People aren't very extroverted and we want to take aim at that and make Chile a happier country."

SFW video footage can be found here. Can this fad come to the states? We can only hope ...

Oh NO!

Men with Asian tastes, the latest victims of tighter immigration restrictions in Canada:

Facing a shortage of foreign exotic dancers, a group representing 53 of Ontario's strip club owners is turning to immigration consultants to find a loophole in the rules governing foreign workers.

The Adult Entertainment Association of Canada is looking for alternative, legal, ways to hire foreign-born strippers and dancers. One way might be to use foreign student visas since foreign students can now work for 20 hours a week in any job, said the group's executive director Tim Labrinos.

Story here.

Can You Trust Anybody On The Internet These Days?

From the Tampa Tribune:

UTZ - The Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office is pursuing leads from a high-priced jewelry heist involving a nude maid.

A resident of Maisons Drive on May 23 reported that a woman hired from a nude cleaning service that he found on the Internet had stolen more than $40,000 worth of his wife's jewelry, sheriff's spokeswoman Debbie Carter said.

The woman came to the house, stripped and cleaned the house, Carter said. The homeowner left the woman alone while she cleaned the bedroom, and after she left, the jewelry was gone, Carter said.

Carter did not have any information on how the jewelry vanished.[Emphasis added]

Ummm, so the guy hired a nude cleaning lady and then left her alone? Not only did that make the heist possible but it kind of defeats the purpose of the service, doesn't it?

That's Why I Always Offer To Take Them Home

A stripper is suing the club where she (presumably) used to work. She's claiming it is the club's fault that she got drunk and crashed her car, according to this report in the Birmingham News:

The suit alleges that managers at the strip club allowed her to leave work drunk one night last fall. She wrecked her car, resulting in serious injury, according to the suit filed last week.

Dancers receive a percentage of drink sales and make pretty good money doing so, according to the suit. On Oct. 17, [Stripper Patsy] Hamaker's sales were successful enough that she left work "in a highly intoxicated state," according to her suit.

"Defendants ... allowed a dangerous condition to exist by allowing said plaintiff to leave its establishment in such an intoxicated state while under said defendants' supervision and control," the suit says.

Management's negligence by allowing her to drive home drunk "was a proximate cause" of Hamaker's injuries, the suit says.

Well, the dummy could have ordered a coke or an iced tea or something else instead. It all costs about the same in those clubs. I mean, that's what I'm told, according to people who have been there ...

Yes, But Can It Break a $20 Into Singles?

Not sure how I missed this news when it came out late last month, but anyway, a company is coming out with a Nintendo Wii stripper pole:

Peekaboo Pole Dancing, a company which makes kitschy, novelty stripper pole kits for use in the home (one of which is endorsed by Carmen Electra), wants to release a version for the Nintendo Wii.

While details are sketchy, the thought is likely that such a game would take advantage of the Wii Fit balance board, which arrives next month. You can imagine how such a "game" might work, with players tasked with balancing on the pole for certain lengths of time or in certain positions. Kind of like Dance Dance Revolution for the bachelorette party set.

Damn, if only I had blogged this before Mother's Day. If only ...

I Don't Get Paid for My Investigative Reporting

Radley Balko does "investigative reporting" in Baltimore strip clubs. Doesn't bother to invite me along as an assistant, or a sherpa-like guide to the seedy Baltimore nightlife.

I'm hurt.

First They Came for the Strippers ...

... And I said said nothing because -- I swear, honey -- I never, ever, go to those places. Honest.

Canada is considering a bill that would allow the government to refuse entry to hot foreign women seeking to rub their boobs in a stranger's face for moolah on the grounds that those women might be victims of exploitation. The Great White North's National Post reports:

The legislation would allow immigration officers the right to refuse temporary Canadian work visas, particularly to strippers, if officials feel the women could be victims of sex trafficking.

Well, that's how it is being sold. In fact, as Federal Immigration Minister Diane Finley concedes, it is potentially much broader than that:

Ms. Finley herself has said the revised law would apply not just to exotic dancers but to any woman at risk of exploitation, including people in low-skill jobs and agricultural workers.

In other words, Canada could refuse entry to any woman they claimed might be in danger of being exploited. 'Course if she is already being exploited in her home country, well, that's cool with them.

This is all a reaction to a minor scandal that happened a few years back:

Under the former Liberal government, foreign exotic dancers could apply for temporary work permits because they were identified as "skilled workers" who filled a labour shortage in Canada.

The policy became controversial when former immigration minister Judy Sgro granted a residency permit to a Romanian stripper who had worked on Ms. Sgro's campaign.

Ms. Sgro was eventually cleared of conflict-of-interest allegations in the so-called Stripper-gate affair and the Liberals scrapped the program in 2004.

Well, one might think that because that turned out to be a non-scandal, no legislative remedy would be necessary. But that's not how democracies roll, baby.

Texas Stripper "Pole Tax" Scraped

A totally awesome state district court judge in Austin (where else in Texas?) has thrown out a $5 per person state tax on patrons of strip clubs, arguing it violates the First Amendment. Yee-ha.

According to the Dallas Morning News the backers of the tax aren't giving up yet though:

Attorney General Greg Abbott, representing the state, plans to "vigorously appeal" the ruling, a spokesman said. And at least one Dallas club owner said she's not ready to go out and celebrate.

"The rest of them are ready to throw a big party, but I don't think this is over," said Dawn Rizos, who owns the Lodge, an upscale Dallas club. "They're going to rewrite it, and eventually it will pass."

Officials with the Texas Association Against Sexual Assault, which helped craft the measure, said they are very disappointed by the decision but intend to rework the bill when lawmakers return to Austin in January.

"This is not the end of the adult entertainment fee or of our goal of providing comprehensive sexual assault-related services to Texans," spokeswoman Karen Amacker said.

There weirdest part of the story is that the judge's ruling turned in part on ... whether stripping was responsible for dancers not having health insurance:

Supporters saw a glimmer of hope in Judge Jenkins' ruling. His judgment indicates the bill was too broad. While he was convinced that there was a logical connection between adult clubs and funding sexual assault services, he didn't buy it for funding health insurance.

"There is no evidence that combining alcohol with nude erotic dancing causes dancers to be uninsured, that any dancer is in fact uninsured, or that any uninsured dancer could qualify for assistance from the fund," he said.

Ah, the finer points of legal theory always elude me.

Has Anyone Checked Her for a Heartbeat?

It's an old story: Stripper-turned-criminal conspirator-turned-soccer mom and former state ethics board employee goes to jail for murder. I'm thinking Maggie Gyllenhaal for the lead with Tony Fuqua to direct.

Meet Mechele Linehan. The thirty-five year-old was sentenced to 99 years in jail Wednesday for conspiring to kill her former fiance in Anchorage, Alaska, back in 1996. She was trying to get a cool mil in insurance money.

So what was she doing in the intervening years? Well, for a while she was an administrative assistant for the Washington State Executive Ethics Board, which ensures ethical conduct by state employees.

As with any good crime story, it details like that that capture interest. And this one has tons of them. Linehan was working as a stripper in 1996 at a club called - I kid you not - the Great Alaska Bush Co., when she convinced John Carlin III, a boyfriend, to shoot her then-fiance Ken Leppink.

Unfortunately for Linehan, Leppink had recently changed his will and even wrote an only-to-be-opened-in-the-event-of-my-death letter to his parents saying that if he died that Linehan was behind it. She got nothing. So did prosecutors, who didn't have enough evidence to try her at the time.

Linehan then apparently went straight, got a degree in psychology, married a Washington State doctor and had a kid.

Things started to fall apart in 2005 when Carlin's now-grown son provided damning testimony against his father and Linehan. She was convicted back in October.

The kicker here? She was inspired to do it by watching the movie the Last Seduction. As the AP reports:

"The Last Seduction" is a modern-day film noir in which a ruthless beauty - played by the sultry, raven-haired actress Linda Fiorentino - uses her sexual wiles to manipulate others.

A former stripper, Lora Aspiotis, testified that she watched the movie with Linehan and that Linehan admired the tough-talking Fiorentino character.

"She told me that the character was her heroine and that she wanted to be just like her," Aspiotis said.

Well, not quite. In the movie she gets away with it. Sorry, babe. Anchorage just ain't Hollywood.

Leading Economic Indicators

How weak is the U.S. dollar? Well, a Chilean strip club has decided to accept dollars at 2004 exchange rates as a way to lure the gringos back, according to a story in Bloomberg News:

Bikini-clad pole dancers, mini- skirted hostesses and a deal on foreign exchange await customers at Passapoga, a Santiago nightclub, who pay with U.S. dollars.

At banks and foreign-exchange bureaus, $1 fetches less than 430 pesos. Passapoga pays 600 pesos.

``This campaign has had considerable success,'' said Jaime Retamal, 55, the club's manager. ``Customers come from all over, but a lot from the U.S.''

The dollar has lost a quarter of its value against the peso in the past three years, increasing U.S. travelers' expense for hotels, taxis and restaurants in Chile. Passapoga is discounting the exchange rate to discourage Americans from cutting back on nightclub visits.

***

Patricia Kart, a Passapoga hostess for 2 1/2 years, said workers agreed to the plan even though it reduces their commissions. The promotion is bringing in more customers, she said.

``We have to take what the house gives us, and our job is to do what it takes to make the clients happy,'' Kart, 28, said in a telephone interview from the club. ``They are very content.''

It Was an Emotional Moment for Everyone When She Got Down to Her G-String

Nothing says a long life, well-lived, like a stripper at a funeral:

A Taiwanese man hired an erotic dancer to perform at his 103-year-old father’s funeral.

The stripper danced in front of Cai Jinlai’s coffin for more than ten minutes at the funeral in Taizhong town. Son, Cai Ruigong, paid her more than £80 to dance in memory of his late father.

Cai Ruigong says he promised his father a stripper for his funeral if he lived beyond the age of 100. Cai Jinlai passed away at the age of 103 after a three mile walk into town to vote. He was the oldest person in his village and had more than 100 descendants. His son said his father was famous locally for his interest in strip clubs: “He would travel around the island with his friends to see these shows,” he added.

The above image accompanied the story, but I'm not sure it has anything to do the late Mr. Jinlai.


I'm guessing the father gave warm, timeless advice to his son like: "Never pay more than $20 for a lapdance,” “When you go, always wear loose-fitting khakis” and “Never tip the same dancer twice in a row; always make them compete for your attention.”

Hey, that's what my dad taught me. Ah, fond memories ...


Read the whole thing here.

Pussycat Preachers Pounce on Prostitutes

Jesus would be proud:

RIVERSIDE, Calif., Feb. 11 /Christian Newswire/ -- When young pastor Matt Brown announced he was supporting a ministry for women in the sex industry led by an x-stripper, he was expecting applause. Instead, he got cold stares and an e-mail inbox filled with angry letters. At issue was Heather Veitch, an x-stripper turned evangelist.

Expecting applause? How do not love this guy? Basically he said, "I want to work with a blond stripper with big tits. I'm going to give her $50,000 and follow her into strip clubs and porno sets. Appluad me, bitches." Seriously, I want to marry Pastor Brown. What balls.

More on that $50,000:

Instead of backing away from Heather, Pastor Brown put up $50,000 of church money to support the ministry. But in no time at all, a rumor got started that the $50,000 was being used by Brown to buy lap dances for himself. Brown suddenly found himself on the verge of losing his church facility housed on the campus of Southern California Baptist University.

A rumor..Gee, how do you think that rumor got started? Could it have something to do with giving $50,000 to a stripper? Even better, it was church money. Maybe I should get to know Jesus. I pay for my sexual addictions with my own hard-earned money. And sanity. And emotional stability. Oh, and physical well-being. You get the point. No one is helping me out.

The ex-stripper evangelist on her record:

For her part, Heather Veitch claims she is winning souls and that is what matters. For evidence, she has the documentary which shows a number of strippers making their first venture into church. "Now comes the hard part," Heather smiles.

I need names of churches please. Addresses would be nice also.

The documentary's web site, The Pussycat Preacher here. Article here. Heather's website here, where you can check out her blog, a gallery of pictures, and get booking information for private parties. Uh sorry, I mean "speaking engagements".

Thanks to Sean Higgins for the tip, who last I saw him was heading off to strip clubs with bible in hand 20 WWJD bracelets on his arm.

27 Year Old Hostess at a Titty Bar Smarter Than Democratic Presidential Candidates

Yucca Mountains, "Nevada's ethanol":

Jan. 15 (Bloomberg) -- Tori, a 37-year-old Las Vegas stripper, is an unlikely person to set national energy policy.

As a voter in Nevada's Jan. 19 Democratic presidential caucuses, that's just what she'll help to do when she chooses which candidate to support. The most important issue for her is the U.S. Department of Energy's plan to store spent nuclear fuel at Yucca Mountain, an extinct volcano about 100 miles northwest of Las Vegas.

Senator Hillary Clinton of New York ``says she is against it,'' says Tori, who declines to give her last name, citing her day job working with burn victims at a dermatology clinic. ``But before she has my vote, I want to know if she means it.''[...]

Obama, Clinton and Edwards all oppose using Yucca Mountain as a waste depository, though in 2000, Edwards voted the other way. Obama, whose state has the largest nuclear-energy network in the country and the eighth-largest in the world, has said nuclear power should remain an option for the U.S.

Clinton told an environmental magazine last August that she is ``agnostic'' about nuclear energy, while Edwards flatly opposes its expansion.

Back at the Las Vegas gentlemen's club where Tori works, her colleagues also aren't unanimous on the issue. Suzanne Nakata, a 27-year-old waitress who doesn't disrobe because she ``might run for office one day,'' says Nevadans need to reconsider their opposition to Yucca Mountain if they want to reduce America's greenhouse-gas emissions.

``Honestly, nuclear waste really does have to go somewhere,'' the registered Democrat says, ``but Nevadans haven't accepted that.''

Full story -- ambitiously titled "Las Vegas Strippers may Influence Global Nuclear-Waste Policy" -- here. Directions to Baltimore strippers who may influence the waste out of my radioactive rod tonight, here.

Thanks to Sean Higgins for the link -- who, fwiw, covers stripper-influenced special interest politics better than anyone else I know.

Strip Down for Your Rights

Strip clubs are on the verge of being forced out of business in Sarasota County, Fl, as the county is set to pass regulations that belong in churches, not in clubs that sell skin and lap dances. From a story that is no longer up on the local news website: [see related article from a different source here]

The future of strip clubs in Sarasota County took center stage Monday night at the commission meeting. Commissioners are considering strict regulations that would shut the clubs down.

Commissioners were talking about the Cheetah. The ordinance commissioners are considering would ban all alcohol from the club and it would require dancers to stay at least six feet away from the customers.

But the strippers won't go down quietly..

"I love working at the Cheetah." It's not everyday you hear someone tell county commissioners that, or see a commission meeting packed with exotic dancers. But these women came to confess to commissioners that they all love their job at the Cheetah.

"I've been able to obtain home ownership, attend USF to finish my business degree but most importantly, I've been able to raise my 6-year-old daughter by myself."

The reason for their emotion...their livelihood is in jeopardy. All because of what happened in 1996. It was then that commissioners gave the Cheetah Lounge a ten year grace period before it would ban bareness at the bar.

And a soldier makes a fair point..

Commissioners heard from them all, even a soldier who just returned from his third tour of duty in Iraq. "Just so the women in Iraq didn't have to wear burkas. Now you want to cover up the women of the Cheetah, and take my rights away from me to visit the Cheetah."

Thanks to Sean Higgins for link.